I think she already knows... Or at least she knows that something is bothering me. She probably doesn't realize how bad it truly is, though.
Or hell, maybe i'm the one who's overthinking it. I just had this issue confirmed yesterday and had no time to prepare for it all. This is the woman i want to grow old with, we've had our ups, our downs... But god damn, maybe it was my fault for "hyping" it up. We'd get together with the family, her sister just had her first child and my girl gets this raging baby fever that i kept stupidly teasing at, too.
"Who knows? Maybe we'll have our own, soon! *wink wink*"
"Damn, those are some nice jewels! Wonder how much the rings go for, *hyuck hyuck*"
I'm gonna have to break this out really soon... Just, hate to remember that i purposefully indulged these ideas in her, got her all hopeful and excited, and now the rug's gonna be pulled in just a single moment.
Just really fucking wish i knew what comes next, wish i had a backup plan. Well, there is this one option that's sort of available, and if it works, then that's near a dream job for me. Honestly speaking though, it's not happening for a while.