Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

[DerelictOnion]

Riiiiiiight I almost forgot that Karl specifically called Mitchell's lawyers something along the line of "he is probably not paying them much because of how incompetent they are". I bet they enjoyed watching him squirm in court. He apparently "broke down" and cried during the verdict.

 

[Frick Marisa]

He apparently "broke down" and cried during the verdict.

What I wouldn't give to see it... That's probably worth as much as the money he gained from the lawsuit for Billy.

 

[Rabo 2: Electric Boogaloo]

What I wouldn't give to see it... That's probably worth as much as the money he gained from the lawsuit for Billy.

It during his questioning and talking about how much stress the trial has been. Sounds to me like it was crocodile tears. "Boohoo, Judge, look at how sad Billy made me with his frivolous lawsuit". Plus keep in mind that this is reported from ersat_catz who totally appears to be a reliable, sane and stable person. Right?

 

[Sharpeteer]

It during his questioning and talking about how much stress the trial has been. Sounds to me like it was crocodile tears. "Boohoo, Judge, look at how sad Billy made me with his frivolous lawsuit". Plus keep in mind that this is reported from ersat_catz who totally appears to be a reliable, sane and stable person. Right?

Would you trust this man?

 

[demicolon]

It seems like something only old retired people should be bothering with, not young and spry ones who should be working on themselves.

Old retirees have nowhere near the reflexes, hand-eye coordination and stress resistance the young have. Ever wonder why there's no women in speedrunning? Aside from women considering games like Quake a stupid waste of time for manbabies (they have a point), women have nowhere near the ability to compete with guys on the abilities I've outlined above. Sad but true, they're just not made for it.

 

[Fucker Carlson]

This guy seemed to have a good thing going for a while. Who the fuck is Billy Mitchell and why did Karl need to make 10+ videos about him?

 

[YoRHa No. 2 Type B]

This guy seemed to have a good thing going for a while. Who the fuck is Billy Mitchell and why did Karl need to make 10+ videos about him?

Because cheating in 80's arcade games is worse then committing murder, and Karl was just the brave soldier who tried to stop the Billy Mitchell dragon!
Karl is also a sped, quite likely to Troon out and doesn't know when to stop when he is sperging out and being a retard.

 

[Fucker Carlson]

Because cheating in 80's arcade games is worse then committing murder, and Karl was just the brave soldier who tried to stop the Billy Mitchell dragon!
Karl is also a sped, quite likely to Troon out and doesn't know when to stop when he is sperging out and being a retard.

I hope the $200,000 was worth it. He could have just kept making non-Billy related videos, but no, I have to ruin my life and my career hyperfixating on a subject nobody gives a shit about.

 

[demicolon]

I can't quote Princess Rescuer's post but

I wanted to point out that there is no proof that Billy "cheated" his scores. The only thing envious retards have proven is that he submitted scores set on MAME to the leader boards reserved for arcade hardware.

Billy broke his own rules, that puts him on the same level of respect thieves and tattletalers get.

It hasn't been proven to any degree that the scores set were spliced, save states or whatever other underhanded methods are used in MAME. Hell, even the so-called "barrel luck" he supposedly got was inconclusive since the guy who currently holds the record (by 200,000 more points) and a guy who had less points than Billy both had better "barrel luck".

If you win a poker round and an ace falls out of your sleeve, nobody at the table is gonna let you get away with it even if you did not actually used it to swap a bad card this time.

Personally, I think he had someone mod a cabinet that could play multiple games all in one and the guy who put it together used MAME. Billy likely didn't question it and went about his merry way, playing in his spare time without having to swap boards around (something he states he doesn't know how to do).

If that were true Billy would state he didn't know what was going on and it's the tech guy who put it together who's to blame. Instead he vehemently denied he ever used MAME despite his own tapes proving without doubt it was MAME. Billy also wouldn't try some lame gay ops against Jace Hall.

Basically, I think he submitted MAME scores through being naive about his favorite arcade cabinet, not through some troontastic conspiracy about his malicious scandal to keep his scores on top as part of his drug money laundering and child sex trafficking operation.

Lmao he's not that stupid, add to that he's butt buddies with Todd Rogers who's an even more egregious cheater, and Billy was the de facto capo of Twin Galaxies which was already infamous in the community for cheating scandals, ridiculous submission rules guaranteeing nobody would bother submitting speedruns there that could pose a threat to King Billy's precious Donkey's Dong top score, and covering for literal pedophiles who were in their ranks.

If you want to understand why it was such a big deal, imagine you find out that your roommate has been "borrowing" spare change from your wallet when you've been out. It was not much, a coin here or there whenever he was low for beer money. You didn't catch him red handed, it's not world-shattering, but you ask him about it and he both denies and threatens to sue you for falsely accusing him of theft despite there being no way someone else could have done it. You're gonna be really fucking done with the guy and won't trust him ever again, and if he felt he had the right to search through your wallet, what other private matter of yours has this guy been going through in your absence?

 

[Fucker Carlson]

The worst part of this is that trooning might not be the worst option if he wants to get out of having to deal with the consequences.

 

[demicolon]

One of these days all the Semper Fi's are gonna stop, and I'll be like "what happened? Did he die?"

You wish. My body is a machine fuelled by Rickey's World Famous Hot Sauce. Use code "Billy" for ah fuck it Pay to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to Billy what is Billy's, you absolute cheapskates!

 

[black hole]

This is the first time this website ever made me laugh. I never really get into kiwifarms. The freakshows are sort of fascinating but I never really get it. But I remember jobst trying to switch to a full time career of billy-bashing and now I imagine jobst every hour of work for the rest of his life knowing the money's not going to his wife or his children's future but to his lord and master, Billy Mitchell. And it's hilarious.

 

[Slamerella]

Had a waking thought out of bed: He's delaying the video because he's trying to scramble for a sponsor slot and hasn't found a sponsor yet because everyone dropped him.

 

[YoRHa No. 2 Type B]

Had a waking thought out of bed: He's delaying the video because he's trying to scramble for a sponsor slot and hasn't found a sponsor yet because everyone dropped him.

I'm sure there's at least 1 person willing to do a sponsor spot.

 

[Bruno Powroznik]

Had a waking thought out of bed: He's delaying the video because he's trying to scramble for a sponsor slot and hasn't found a sponsor yet because everyone dropped him.

As retarded as Karl is he isn't retarded enough to put a sponsor spot in an apology video.

right?

 

[Ofcom Enforcer]

Karl is no longer effectively policing his Discord.

Spoiler: Screenshots

It started innocently enough.

The last sensible comment.

Cock talk.

It begins.





Alan is one of Karl's chief dents. He attended the trial with etsatz.




Alan in full meltdown.


This random dent was getting reported as spam and hidden by default.



Most of this was posted before I went to bed last night. It's still here in the morning.


Karl briefly comes out of his attic to confirm that, unlike a troll said, idubbz didn't actually make a detractor video about him.

Spoiler: Attachments (not my work)

Also, this banger dropped on YouTube today - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tbr1qe3WGc

 

[PrestonHolt]

Karl is no longer effectively policing his Discord.

I wouldn't be surpirsed if he'd made a backup/private discord for all jannitors to hug him there, knowing that people keep screenshooting his retardations over past few days.

 

[Princess Rescuer]

I still think Mitchell cheated (with solid evidence not present in any WR run before or since) but Jobst is worse. He could probably still make videos about N64 speedrunning or old PC speedrunning and I'd watch them, but the respect people have for him has overall plummeted this month. One wonders if it would be different if the court went full kangaroo and he won.

 

[Gremperor]

As retarded as Karl is he isn't retarded enough to put a sponsor spot in an apology video.

right?

Will it even be an apology video? I'm expecting a bunch of legal ass covering with a small "I'm sorry you feel misled" segment.

 

[Silvio Dante]

Amusingly Karl's Dam :52 was rejected last year on speedrun.com for "Rankings transition". I know speedrun.com isn't the main place for Goldeneye speedruns and I don't think Karl's record is actually disputed but it makes for an ironic screenshot considering Billy's Donkey Kong scores are disputed because the way certain screens transition/load

https://www.speedrun.com/ge60fps/runs/m79084ey