Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Well Intentioned]

Why go through all the trouble of getting those legal documents for us when you literally could have just posted this instead?

Yeah why provide receipts on a site where the golden rule is 'ARCHIVE EVERYTHING.' Truly a mystery for the ages.

More seriously, sometimes funny details pop up in legal documents. Go poke through the Russel Greer thread if you don't believe me.

 

[ChampFantana]

Dear Sweet Lord in Heaven, PLEASE answer my prayer and let Vice President Vance notice Fat's impotent oinking and start Patposting on Twitter.

The REEEEEEEing from Piggy will be heard on Neptune.

 

[(°▽°)]

Dear Sweet Lord in Heaven, PLEASE answer my prayer and let Vice President Vance notice Fat's impotent oinking and start Patposting on Twitter.

The REEEEEEEing from Piggy will be heard on Neptune.

JD Vance will interrupt the President's "Gamer Gate Address" to briefly mention Patrick's bitch tits.

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

Fatrick makes a really good point here, there would be absolutely no benefit to having the ability to cure severe autism whatsoever.

Some of you may wonder, how is Fatrick so incredibly smart? After all, he's able to come up with a quick-witted comeback to every troll who replies to him.
The answer may shock you...
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So close.
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you are both very wrong, stalkers.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

I recently remembered Orangeman Pat, Fervent Billy Boy and God's scourge for the Irish. I wonder, does he get out the shirt every St Padraig's day to wear and fantasize about feeding the Hibernian rabble their teeth, or was it just the one year?

 

[Judge Holden]

you are both very wrong, stalkers.

Little baby chiiiiiiiiiild.....you are always wrong

 

[Uncle Buck]

Patrick does not want the MPD to come unannounced and tongue his anus. The MPD claims they have a right and a duty to come unannounced and tongue his anus. Legal Expert Potentially Criminal states that MPD probably does not have a right to come in and tongue his anus. Legal Expert AnOminous claims that MPD probably has a right to tongue his anus based on the record of the case.

Glad I could help.

Sticky, please.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Dear Sweet Lord in Heaven, PLEASE answer my prayer and let Vice President Vance notice Fat's impotent oinking and start Patposting on Twitter.

The REEEEEEEing from Piggy will be heard on Neptune.

If Vance gives piggy even a crumb of attention, Rick will take that as validation he's super duper important and his unwarranted arrogance will go through the roof. He'll brag to all and sundry about how he's being targeted by the Trump administration, which will no doubt get him his precious updoots on BlueSky.

 

[CEO of Gay]

Someone get the @CEO of Gay in here, because their quaint response makes you realize that this lawsuit is even gayer than we thought.

Ooh, a new lolsuit to laugh and throw popcorn at? Much obliged.

Pages 2-4 in particular made me laugh aloud. Some choice highlights:

 

[John Andrews Stan]

It won’t happen, but my ribs would never return from orbit if Vance childed Pat.

 

[Red Frida]

Fatrick loudly declares he knows for a fact his many autistic family members do not require assistance to go poo poo, and also that baseball is inherently autistic.

To be fair many autistic people are more productive than Pat by default.

 

[Uncle Buck]

To be fair many autistic people are more productive than Pat by default.

To be fair, many people in rehab or in nursing homes are more productive than Fat by default.

 

[Divine right to rule]

It won’t happen, but my ribs would never return from orbit if Vance childed Pat.

"Mr. Tomlinson, have you even thanked our police officers once for not tasing you when you took swings against them while in a naked and disorderly state? As the President always says: "We have the best retards here in the US. Tremendous, tremendous retards. Nobody has better lolcows than us.""

 

[curbside2]

 

[Laburnum]

All these rotating Pats are giving me the impression that Patrick 'Rick' Sean Tomlinson, otherwise known as the Torque Wheeler, is kinda fat...

 

[Piggle Rick]

Specifically NOCHILDed
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Does anyone else other than Rick ever refer to the Second World War as “WW:II” (instead of WWII) as though it’s a fucking marvel movie sequel?

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

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If I was a juror, and I didn't know who Fatty Pigtits was, just based on that document, I'd say the police dindu nothin' wrong.

Could it be argued that that the police could have handled some of those situations differently? Yes

Could it also be argued that the police were acting within the scope of their duties by saying they needed to see Nikki to ensure her safety, despite the known swatting risk? Yes

Does the fact that Piggy Fattits had been successfully prosecuted for saying he was going to kill his previous wife and unborn child mean that despite the swatting the police were justified in their demands to ensure the safety and wellbeing of Nikki? Yes

As such, are their actions so egregious that it supersedes the scope of their responsibilities and their qualified immunity as LEOs? No

Is Fatty Pigtits a retarded, whiny bitch that is hoping to extort money from the local municipality? Yes

Does he deserve a red cent? No

 

[W@rui]

All these rotating Pats are giving me the impression that Patrick 'Rick' Sean Tomlinson, otherwise known as the Torque Wheeler, is kinda fat...

 

[In the Sick of It]

A few highlights I enjoyed:


"Prove that your wife is fine or I'm kicking your door in"
"No, child."
"Yes, child"
"No, child. Go. Away."

 

[Post Reply]

A few highlights I enjoyed:

I have to imagine that the defense for these admissions is that the officers reasonably believed Patrick could be a threat to his wife, given his criminal history.

In other news the FDA is ending their yearly inspections of Patrick's basement pepperoni processing plant. Naturally, Pat feels threatened by the possibility of competition coming along and undercutting his locally sourced, free range product.