To anyone who is sane, that should be a green flag, not a red one. It is pretty uncommon, though.
Try and get her involved in non-socmed activities. Most chronic scrolling is dopamine addiction. Plan some things to do together, try a new hobby, do one of those "pull the plug" vacations. If she breaks the habit she'll be less likely to return to it.
The app sucks, but it's worth making an account (preferably not connected to your real name) just for the mutuals feature. I've made so many weird connections on campus from getting someone's Instagram and being like "oh, wow, you also know X".
Why do you assume I haven't? Got the corporate version of "lol no" in response.
Start sending out your CV, and try to get yourself moved to a different project. You can do both at the same time.
Fit enough for living. Able to climb a hill and dig a garden bed and be healthy. Not fat. Otherwise not bothered about big muscles. Most attractive physical sort of look is someone got through lifestyle rather than bulked at the gym . Obviously opinions vary on this one.
It’d be a red flag for me if a man was really active on social media. An instagram account for a business, or a hobby is fine.
We like it so we can scroll through your photos and see who you're following. If a guy didn't have one I wouldn't mind though and would find it unusual but I'd prefer that than overly active, posting himself constantly.
That is honestly decent bit of career advice to everyone at professional setting - see how much employers are willing to pay for you regularily. Also I'd guess you shouldn't go only after money - at least to me it's all about what I feel about my job while commuting on monday. Which, for the most part has kept me at my current employer. That and the fact that I'm making decent salary, just that increasing workload with same pay wouldn't be worth it anymore.
You went into great detail about everything else, it would have been pertinent information to include.
That's what I tried to communicate with the "increase my workload with no benefit for me" part - sorry, I could've been clearer on that!
By her family, do you mean her children, you, or both.
No; that's dumb. I'm not your age, but my kids are 20s, and it's not 100% with insta. Some people like it; some don't care. It's a very dumb thing for someone to expect or to judge you for not having. Which is not to say some won't - but if that's a deal-breaker for someone, it doesn't say that much for them. And tbh, if I cared about having social profiles, I don't think that a token account would be better than not having one at all. Ymmv.
Are you an employee or a contractor? Sounded like employee but then you mentioned being a rented mule, so unclear.
I am an employee, in this kind of delivery model we provide software + people to wrangle the bits it as consultants to clients. And with several clients, the there's old adage along the lines of "when you bow to one direction, you're mooning towards the other".
Honestly, this is pretty good place to work at (this is just a situation I'd wish go away if I bury my head in sand). I like the people I work with, and the stuff I work on is pretty interesting to me. Then there's the fact that I'm also taking a part in developing a prototype for new product, and dropping out just like that at this point would probably seem bit unprofessional, especially since we're doing this with such small group. Also, economy sucks and finding a new job is still bit uncertain to everyone.
If you're talking about corporate org chart, then big no. I've worked towards more of an architect role for past few years, and been taking extra trainings (internal and external) and whatnot. I've given presentations and tech demos on company seminars, my bosses know I'm good at what I do, nobody really has anything bad to say about me yada yada. So in that sense, me and my employer both know that I'm more of an technical expert. Won't even get any fancier title to put on linkedin unless something truly miraculous happens. Career development isn't necessarily direct line or climbing up a ladder, at least in our field. I also know for a fact that this year nobody is getting bigger raise than what our field's collective agreement stipulates as minimum for this year. Heard this from my direct boss during our last biannual one to one discussion. I guess in the end this current situation kinda just dropped on my lap, I've worked in this project only for the past two or so years, and this is (relatively) recent development.
Opinions will widely vary, but I want my man to be as fit or fitter than me. That means less than 20% bodyfat and hitting the gym 4+ days a week. Generally not a fan of the super-ripped gymrat look as it's indicative of drug use and/or an eating disorder but it's not a dealbreaker.
Not a read flag, but it's so uncommon to not have an Insta that at first blush I'd wonder if you were lying. And lying about your socials is a huge red flag. Might behoove you to make an Insta and post on there once every three months.
I hate normies.
I don’t think many straight regular men have instagram accounts ‘for fun’ unless it’s sports teams, hobbies or business. I do use instagram (it’s getting much worse recently) because I like looking at other people’s allotments and stuff and thinking about it almost all the female run accounts are similar (post a few things of their dog/allotment/handcrafts etc) but all the men’s in my follow list are businesses, obsessive hobbies, or work. I don’t think I follow any men’s accounts where the account is like mine
