DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Lady Adjani]

Don't let him pigwash you into thinking it's an ahffice. It's a tiny spare bedroom with his toys.

morbidly obese wife + cat = family
panhandling = conducting business
playing video games for a living = meaningful

 

[Mr. Game & Box]

Fun question for the board.

One of Phils neighbouring khandos goes up for sale and you buy it. How do you fuck with Phil without giving the game away?

Blasting Liquid Richard too obvious and ChaKing songs are right out, however tempting.

If it hasn't been written yet, I'd catch the lawn guy and pay him $20 to mow more around Phil's Khando during his peak podkhast times.

 

[Brother Wind]

Odd question: Does Phil’s brain dead gameplay of your favourite game ruin your enjoyment of the game?

On the contrary those are my favorite playthroughs. Because these are games I beat as a child. Like him whining and crying about the big robot at the end of Sonic 3 is a personal favorite of mine. Because I was in the second grade when I beat that. I remember being stumped for weeks. When I was 7. And even then it was putting together the timing to not have the beam and the fire at the same time. An issue I solved before I had mastered tying my shoes. In certainly more time. But I would bet in fewer attempts.

I am still a little mad they changed that last bit where you chase him. Even now that part makes me sweat, because if you hit him wrong you bounce into the gap. But the widescreen is way way more forgiving. And I would kill to see, when he finally chumped his way through it, if he could actually get back there again.

 

[Digger10]

Dang his nose is starting to look like the stereotypical alcoholic old man nose.

Fittingly, the colloquial term for this is "gin blossom".

 

[Balr0g]

Snort sacks on full display. Jeez he looks rough.

View attachment 7297595

Damn. Is he still suffering from the KC breakup? Or just hawkeyeing for any khantributions?

On a side note, what do you think is Phil eaning as an hourly wage on Kick (if that is even true)? He is a Kick partner now (according to his own words) so he allegedly earns an 2hourly wage" I saw on a youtube video on how nuisance streamers even earn money and apparently one has reguar streams with 800 viewers on average making 10k $ in earnings. I doubt that is true unless of course it's all combined (the subs are probably still the majority considering how Kick takes only a small cut) Phil has 60 viewers or so on Kick so I guess he doesn't earn that much. Hedoes have a lot interaction though but those are usually only troll interactions

 

[Elite Kipchak]

He just can't let one go.

If he could, this thread probably wouldn't exist

 

[Pickle Man]

Snort sacks on full display. Jeez he looks rough.

View attachment 7297595

He slowly turning into Nixon.

 

[BlastMonk]

View attachment 7298546

He slowly turning into Nixon.

Nixon was way more honest than Phil

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

Phil is the biggest piece of shit a person can be WITHOUT actually doing something that's heinous like murder or rape or something like that. Phil wears that as a badge of honor as if he's not a bad guy, when in reality, being that shitty of a person and disliked/ignored/hated by so many says that you have to go the extra mile in being garbage to get that sort of feeling from people.

This perfectly words how I've often felt about DSP. I just can't fathom how this guy can be so awful in every conceivable way, but don't worry he isn't a "heinous villain" who rapes, murders, or touches kids(just protects people who do). I do understand how people who are unfamiliar with Phil can be a bit confused about the hate he gets if they know nothing about him at all, but it doesn't take much to get the gist. He is a bit of a fine wine style lolcow where the more you know and the more he talks the funnier it gets seeing the mountain of lies and contradictions piling up daily. He has zero redeeming qualities or any visible humanity. Like you said, it takes a special kind of piece of shit to be this horrible without being a violent criminal.

 

[Pattern Noticer]

I haven't been watching Phil as much lately but I realized something just in the short amount I have watched him in the last few weeks beg with no regard...

Phil is the biggest piece of shit a person can be WITHOUT actually doing something that's heinous like murder or rape or something like that. Phil wears that as a badge of honor as if he's not a bad guy, when in reality, being that shitty of a person and disliked/ignored/hated by so many says that you have to go the extra mile in being garbage to get that sort of feeling from people.

Being a shitty person because you're a murderer is like if you were a sandwich shop owner and you poisoned all your customers. Phil is the type of sandwich shop owner who purposely uses meat that's likely expired when he buys it but it's cheaper so why not, he copies other more successful store's ideas but does them half-heartedly and then complains that nobody cares, all while refusing all real suggestions to change, why? Because there are a few idiotic customers who come in and buy a $5 sandwich and tip him $300 on top of the purchase for no good reason, which encourages the shitty sandwich shop to keep putting out the same shitty product. Whereas the first sandwich shop that poisons its customers is obviously shut down and the owner goes to jail, Phil's sandwich shop continues on, existing in a way where everybody laughs at it and never goes in, yet it never goes out of business.

(Phil I know you pop in here and read KF periodically, so I hope that sandwich shop analogy makes you actually cry you pathetic excuse for a grown ass man)

Imagine you run a sandwich shop and people start asking for meatball subs. You tell them there's no possible way to put meatballs on a sub and that they're retards for suggesting so. Then 2 years later, you start selling meatball subs and make a really big deal out of it, and then get pissed off because no one orders the meatball sub.

That's basically Phil's entire history. Refuse to adapt to changing times until it's too late, then complain that people don't give you credit for doing the obvious.
He did it with direct capture, he did it with streaming, he did it with specific games (Minecraft), he did it with drama content.

 

[Hamburger Detractor]

View attachment 7298546

He slowly turning into Nixon.

I am NOT a crook! It was a bunch of no load detractors pretending to work for me that broke into that hotel!

 

[San Dimas High School]

Im 100% sure that we would NEVER SEE fat kat if its not for DSP going ahead and showing her before the doc drops. Which was eventually cancelled by him. Good job, DSP, you played yourself!

I don't know if DSP is savvy enough to do the fat reveal before the documentary or not but that is amazingly funny if true. I always wondered why he'd put her through that.

 

[LongLiveTheKing]

Fun question for the board.

One of Phils neighbouring khandos goes up for sale and you buy it. How do you fuck with Phil without giving the game away?

Blasting Liquid Richard too obvious and ChaKing songs are right out, however tempting.

I am the same age as the Pig King. I would become his best friend, wearing gaming shirts and doing nerdy stuff to get him to make first contact. The get him way pumped up and think he might actually have a friend. I would get him so high on his own farts it will make the Kino Fatty look tame. Then when we start co op as soon as he fucks up I will blow up and treat him like the dent he is. Just lite razzing, and just fuck with him and his dents.

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Was wondering why his Blue Prince gameplay felt familiar to me the other day and I've realized why. It's like when I watch Dora the Explorer or Blues Clues with my niece and nephew. The way he constantly talks to the chat like they're babies, acts surprised or confused over the dumbest shit, literally looks at the camera while asking shit like "where do you guys think we should use the key??". It's uncanny.

 

[Digger10]

He slowly turning into Nixon.

I imagine Phil says "Time to turn on the ol' Burnell charm" before he starts a stream.

 

[Samuel Fuller]

If it hasn't been written yet, I'd catch the lawn guy and pay him $20 to mow more around Phil's Khando during his peak podkhast times.

I'd pay him to draw a dick in fertilizer on Phil's lawn. It is almost impossible to undo fertilizer grafitti without re-sodding the entire lawn.

 

[A Piece of Coal]

Was wondering why his Blue Prince gameplay felt familiar to me the other day and I've realized why. It's like when I watch Dora the Explorer or Blues Clues with my niece and nephew. The way he constantly talks to the chat like they're babies, acts surprised or confused over the dumbest shit, literally looks at the camera while asking shit like "where do you guys think we should use the key??". It's uncanny.

It’s almost like he’s a children’s entertainer or something

 

[Lord_Point]

I am the same age as the Pig King. I would become his best friend, wearing gaming shirts and doing nerdy stuff to get him to make first contact. The get him way pumped up and think he might actually have a friend. I would get him so high on his own farts it will make the Kino Fatty look tame. Then when we start co op as soon as he fucks up I will blow up and treat him like the dent he is. Just lite razzing, and just fuck with him and his dents.

Im not sure phil would actually bond over nerdy shit and gaming. The few nerdy things he might actually like he seems deeply embarrassed about, he never really grew out of that middle school tough guy persona he thought he had. He used to (and probablly still would) get mad when someone asked him if darksydephil is a starwars reference.

My guess is you would have to be into gambling and... i dunno what else he likes? Black guys?

 

[Samuel Fuller]

Im not sure phil would actually bond over nerdy shit and gaming. The few nerdy things he might actually like he seems deeply embarrassed about, he never really grew out of that middle school tough guy persona he thought he had. He used to (and probablly still would) get mad when someone asked him if darksydephil is a starwars reference.

My guess is you would have to be into gambling and... i dunno what else he likes? Black guys?

Looking at his past friendships, you'd have to give him money, always let him have his way, and suck his dick, possibly even literally, and even then he'd throw you aside the second you were anything approaching inconvenient for him in any way.

 

[LongLiveTheKing]

Fun question for the board.

One of Phils neighbouring khandos goes up for sale and you buy it. How do you fuck with Phil without giving the game away?

Blasting Liquid Richard too obvious and ChaKing songs are right out, however tempting.

I am the same age as the Pig King. I would become his best friend, wearing gaming shirts and doing nerdy stuff to get him to make first contact. The get him way pumped up and think he might actually have a friend. I would get him so high on his own farts it will make the Kino Fatty look tame. Then when we start co op as soon as he fucks up I will blow up and treat him like the dent he is. Just lite razzing, and just fuck with him and his dents.

Im not sure phil would actually bond over nerdy shit and gaming. The few nerdy things he might actually like he seems deeply embarrassed about, he never really grew out of that middle school tough guy persona he thought he had. He used to (and probablly still would) get mad when someone asked him if darksydephil is a starwars reference.

My guess is you would have to be into gambling and... i dunno what else he likes? Black guys?

I think he saw a guy with a gamer or wrestling shirt in the Snort Gated Fort he might make small talk. If you pretended not to know who he was. I think he is super desperate for a friend hence the Fat Tranny saga. Would be easy to inflate the ego and infiltrate the Kingdom.