🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

There’s no direct flights from Merida to San Diego so he has to either fly into LAX and find transportation 3 hours south to SD or fly into TJ and limp across the border.

It's stupid easy to cross into San Diego from the TJ Airport, I think there's even a dedicated pedestrian bridge that goes to a border crossing for the airport. Given how white trash the Vickers are, that crossing is probably closer to the visitation center than the actual SAN Diego airport is.

Ralph's just fat and a retard.

 

[Pelican Bones]

The only way Ralph will ever see Rozie again is if he recognizes a girl as a human. He simply doesn't have it in him to give a fuck about  her.

Hopefully Josh and Jim can give her the greatest gift of all: not bullying Ralph into visiting her like they did with his son.

 

[Adolf Hulkler]

FUCK YOU ALOGS!
I GOT THE FINEST TIJUANA ANAL CREAM, OR SHOULD I SAY LUBE?
I AINT BUTTHURT BISH!
INFACT IT IS YOUUU WHOS BUTTHURT!
I AINT GONNA BE BUTTHURT BECAUSE THE LUBE HAS ANAL-GESTIC IN IT!
5 STAR HOT TUB EXPERIENCE BISH!
BET YOURE VAXXED!
HERE I AM IN MEHICO AND I DONT EVEN GOT NO HEPATITIS VAX CUZ THE GOVERNMENT ISNT GONNA CONTROLL ME BISH!
THEY CHANGE THE WATER EVERY SECOND GUEST BISH!
ITS PRACTICALLY CLEAN!
FUCK YOU MORRIS AND YOUR CUNT OF A DAUGHTER!

ONCE THE TUB BOY HERNANDEZ SHOWS UP WERE GONNA PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG!
HE SAYS HE HAS "THE GIFT" FOR ME!

 

[Gator_Aids]

“Ah wasn’t doooing drugs! On-est! I had just come back from getting fucked by a tranny and doing a ton of cocaine! How could I be doooing drugs if ah’m not sleeping at night! Stoopid alogs, bish!”

 

[Punished Larson]

 

[Um...]

Classic Ralph.

Sorry, Xanduh. I got buttfucked in jacuzzi in Tijuana and woke up late. I won’t be able to make it today because your mom’s a bitch.

Oh and Ah’m your REAL daddy, Son. Not that spic. ME .

 

[Caligura]

Harry reacted with a single word.
View attachment 7313767
Piggertits proceeds to seethe and holler.
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I wonder why he never went to El Salvador out of all Latinx countries. Its the safest iirc.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

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“Ah wasn’t doooing drugs! On-est! I had just come back from getting fucked by a tranny and doing a ton of cocaine! How could I be doooing drugs if ah’m not sleeping at night! Stoopid alogs, bish!”

He was up all night but couldn’t make it to the border crossing before the afternoon.

Right.

 

[RandomGibberish]

View attachment 7316929

Ralph with the money you claim to make why do you care how much a fucking torta costs?

With someone who can make 15k MINIMUM! in 3 days you can afford the $3 price difference, no?

Only below minimum wage Mexican tin shack losers care so much about a $3 price difference

 

[Vect]

I have a feeling Ralph isn't exactly eating like a local.

Like if you like your tortas why not have a system of making your own instead of ordering from an eatery. I suspect it's quite a bit cheaper.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

The only way Ralph will ever see Rozie again is if he recognizes a girl as a human. He simply doesn't have it in him to give a fuck about  her.

Ralph recognizes girls and women as humans he’s just an angry, bitter, man baby that leans into rage filled misogyny to cover up his giant void of insecurities and anger that most women are physically repulsed by him. He also thinks it makes him look cool, and looking cool is Ralph’s main priority in life. (It’s why he’s an apex cow)

Ralph hates himself therefore he resents and abuses any woman who’s dumb enough to care about him. It’s a pattern. But he’s absolutely desperate for women, far more than most men. He’s obsessed even two years after she cut all contact, he was obsessed with Nora for years after she fled, he even stalked his Mexican PT hand therapist. He’s desperate to find another woman to tolerate his physical presence, but he watches porn and scrapes together money for hookers in the interim.

He tries to pretend it’s only sex he’s after but I’ve never seen anyone need a human pain sponge, and emotional support companion, more than Ralph.

View attachment 7316856
“Ah wasn’t doooing drugs! On-est! I had just come back from getting fucked by a tranny and doing a ton of cocaine! How could I be doooing drugs if ah’m not sleeping at night! Stoopid alogs, bish!”

Too bad for who? LMAO. Everybody was just amazed Ralph is such an incompetent trainwreck loser he manages to fuck up one of the very few opportunities he gets to visit his kid under govt supervision after flying across Mexico because he’s so excited by filthy bathtubs in Tijuana. (Given what we know of Ralph’s cinderblock shack he probably does think a bath tub is luxury, he only gets a mold covered shower stall at home.)

Alogs are happy Ralph stays at fleabag hooker hotels, drags himself across the border and gets to spend two whole hours with a kid he barely knows in a sterile court supervised institution with all the other drug addicted, untrustworthy parents. Everyone is so jealous of Ralph and his blessed life. God’s Plan!!

He was up all night but couldn’t make it to the border crossing before the afternoon.

Right.

I still don’t understand what his problem was besides he was just late because he’s an unreliable drug addict. The border doesn’t close. I guess the wait time was so long he wasn’t going to make it to his appointment at the bad parent prison in time.

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Of course he thinks all the extra low quality, cat food grade meat he gets in Mexico is a flex

 

[Um...]

It's stupid easy to cross into San Diego from the TJ Airport, I think there's even a dedicated pedestrian bridge that goes to a border crossing for the airport.

There are three ped crossings from TJ into SD.

They’re just as klassy as the rest of Tijuana.

So he gets a cheapo flight to TJ, gets a cheap motel room in TJ, ubers to the border, waits in line about an hour with the other poors, hoofs it across and ubers to the visitation site, then reverses course back to the TJ slum. It’s the brokie way.

He flexes like he’s a high roller but his dumb piggy wet brain tells the real story of how poor he is, every time.

 

[Estate]

I'll never not be impressed, when Ralph, who's broke af and living in a mexican shed, tries to flex the "high lifestyle" on social media.
It's like watching a retarded dog try to lick his balls and miss.
To you, it's a bizarre comedic display, but for him, it means the world.

 

[Chef Red Pill]

DAT ANAL LOOB IS FOH YEH DAUGHTAH!! WUHDUYA THINK ABOUT DAT HARREH??

 

[Vernon Dozier]

If Ralph was really living five stars days he would be staying near the convention center on the San Diego Bay near the gaslamp district in the country his daddy gave him, Instead he stays in some HIV infected dump in Tijuana. Couldn’t be me.

 

[break these cuffs]

If Ralph was really living five stars days he would be staying near the convention center on the San Diego Bay near the gaslamp district in the country his daddy gave him, Instead he stays in some HIV infected dump in Tijuana. Couldn’t be me.

THEY MAKE THE HOORES PUT DOWN CUNT NAPKINS BEFORE THEY SIT! NOBODY'S GETTIN AIDS BISH!

 

[HackerX]

I'll never not be impressed, when Ralph, who's broke af and living in a mexican shed,

I really want to know how Ralph moving to Mexico came into existence. Like, how does that come up as a viable option for anyone, especially him. It was obviously a combo of Ralph running away from problems and cheaper cost of living, but I have to imagine someone was whispering the idea into his pig ears. It was just such an off-the-wall solution to the Ralphaproblem. I did enjoy Ralphastint of "haha alawgs, yeww'll never find mehh", only to be found within a month. Maybe Ralph was hoping people would find him moving to Mexico to be too ridiculous to believe?

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Just to respond to MirnaMinkoff’s post my impression was that he didn’t get to the border until the early afternoon, it was taking longer than it usually takes him to cross into the US making him even later for his appointment time, and whoever brought Xander was really tired as they’d been waiting for who knows how long already and would have to wait a lot longer for him to even show up so they decided to cancel the visit, leaving him to whine about how everyone’s trying to hurt him.

 

[Raiken]

it's best for the kids to never know who this guy is, i got a daughter around rozy's age and i can only imagine how terrible life would be around him.
they are clingy sponges that get emotional at everything that upsets them enough(mine just started crying today because her juice box was upside down). he would leave amanda with her all the time in her solitary prison with her while he keeps doing exactly what he doing now, and rosy would be scared of getting close to the room and would surely consume anything he keeps around.
sander would be even worse, he would let him do "guy things" because all he wants is a friend and he's retarded and can't connect with anyone his age.

 

[Pale Empress]

Just to respond to MirnaMinkoff’s post my impression was that he didn’t get to the border until the early afternoon, it was taking longer than it usually takes him to cross into the US making him even later for his appointment time, and whoever brought Xander was really tired as they’d been waiting for who knows how long already and would have to wait a lot longer for him to even show up so they decided to cancel the visit, leaving him to whine about how everyone’s trying to hurt him.

Faith threw in the towel at 230pm PST. Still, why not cross over and get a hotel. Rhetorical, of course, the US doesn't have the quality of drugs and hookers and Mexican fast food slop that Ralph is used to.

San Diego isn't that expensive, when I was touring with a band we played some shows there and were able to afford a room. If three broke gutterpunk kids can afford it, there's no reason that international sex tourist / famous gonzo journalist / internet celebrity Ralph can't afford it. Then again, paying an extra $3 for a torta is apparently a big deal for him, so I'll just assume he's too poor to afford a hotel room in the United States.