Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

[Killing and Eating People]

Great news everyone

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

Meanwhile Karl Jobst greatest accomplishment was getting a speedrun record on a very specific Goldeneye level after giving it probably thousands of attempts over the span of multiple years. And when he finally did it, he doesn't act like Mr Cool Billy Mitchel giving a thumbs up, he starts bawling his eyes out on stream as if he can't believe he actually did it and his dumpy Asian wife comes over to pat his head.
View attachment 7325195

Throw clocks at me it this has been done before (it very likely has).

I also unfortunately realized Billy doesn't ship his hot sauce outside of Freedomland, so I had to shop local for an ersatz and settled for some Mild Ass Cracka Weak Piss Baby Sauce (with a parrot on the label).

 

[Buttfuck McGee Returns]

It keeps getting worse for Karl.

https://x.com/BillyPacman/status/1919768728260247964?t=Cz_rrcKIzpi2-WRlBIKp8w&s=19

Edit: I think "Karl Lobst" is a new discount code lmao

 

[Sharpeteer]

Billy talking so much shit for weeks, and Karl, the loudest crusader out to destroy the Mitchell dragon, can't say fucking anything.

Absolute failure.

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

Billy will have to stop eventually. He is overdoing it a bit and will harm his own image again with the gloating.
He should take the well deserved W, frame it, put it on his mantlepiece, next to the Video Game Player of the Century award from Nintendo, and maybe bring back the discount code "JOBST" on April 1st every year to commemorate the occasion.

 

[Sugriva]

Karl's not saying anything because he's teaching his asian son, GIANT DONG, kung-fu to go kick Billy's ass

 

[Lone Star]

I don't think it's appropriate for so many people here to buy the hot sauce. If the gamer energy allows so many of you guys to get the perfect score in Pac-Man, it won't be so special anymore.

 

[nasty otis]

I've always hated this loser, mostly because of his "YOU ABSOLUTE LEGENDS" thing.

It was a dumb internet phrase long before he made his channel and turned it into his "thing"...I remember MaxMoeFoe and others shouting it all the time before this albino vampire tried to make it his brand. Just desserts as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Lone Star]

Billy will have to stop eventually. He is overdoing it a bit and will harm his own image again with the gloating.
He should take the well deserved W, frame it, put it on his mantlepiece, next to the Video Game Player of the Century award from Nintendo, and maybe bring back the discount code "JOBST" on April 1st every year to commemorate the occasion.

Considering how long Karl has been slobbering over himself at taking down Big Bad Billy, I think Billy's earned the right to gloat for at least a month or two, especially if Karl keeps digging a grave for himself.

 

[The Noise]

Meanwhile Karl Jobst greatest accomplishment was getting a speedrun record on a very specific Goldeneye level after giving it probably thousands of attempts over the span of multiple years.

You forgot to mention that the record was obtained on the tutorial level on the easiest difficulty.

Speedrunning Goldeneye is insufferable because everything about it is incredibly luck based. It's like 20% technique and 80% "pray that the rescued hostage takes the shortest path to the exit" or "pray that enemies shoot you in just the right direction to boost you properly" or "pray that this one item spawns right here." Most speedruns are done on Agent because this gets even more insufferable on higher difficulties very quickly.

 

[Rabo 2: Electric Boogaloo]

My only enjoyment of speedrunning is hearing the technical details behind glitches. It does fascinate me how a game gets broken. Watching somebody do a run and explain the strategies as they go along is interesting.

Watching RTA (Real Time Attack, what they call it when you're actually doing it) attempts is incredibly boring. The streamer is usually silent because they're concentrating. They keep resetting because the conditions weren't perfect or they messed up. It's so long and boring. I can't understand why anyone is watching them when they're grinding runs. They sit there and play the same shit, and get frustrated and reset the runs over and over until they actually do it. It really does suck any joy out of the game.

Now I mostly just watch speedrun lore videos as that's interesting and I see the good stuff. Back in the days GDQ was fun because the runners would be entertaining, talking about the lore, the strats and whatnot. But that is long gone, now it's "no fun allowed" bullshit, overloaded with trannies and even back then the commentaries were the worst part but with every year they become more and more important because fucking autists gotta hear their dumb dono comment or they won't be opening up their wallet and how else is Mike going to buy himself a new house without doing literally anything anymore.

GREETINGS FROM GERMANY, FIRST TIME DONATING, THIS IS MY FAVORITE GAME, I USED TO PLAY IT WITH MY UNCLE WHO DIED FROM CANCER, I LOVE SEEING IT BROKEN LIKE THIS, KEEP GOING AND KILL THE ANIMALS

Just fucking kill me.

 

[AnOminous]

overloaded with trannies

There's nothing so bad that adding trannies to it can't make it even worse.

 

[Buttfuck McGee Returns]

Now I mostly just watch speedrun lore videos as that's interesting and I see the good stuff. Back in the days GDQ was fun because the runners would be entertaining, talking about the lore, the strats and whatnot. But that is long gone, now it's "no fun allowed" bullshit, overloaded with trannies and even back then the commentaries were the worst part but with every year they become more and more important because fucking autists gotta hear their dumb dono comment or they won't be opening up their wallet and how else is Mike going to buy himself a new house without doing literally anything anymore.

GREETINGS FROM GERMANY, FIRST TIME DONATING, THIS IS MY FAVORITE GAME, I USED TO PLAY IT WITH MY UNCLE WHO DIED FROM CANCER, I LOVE SEEING IT BROKEN LIKE THIS, KEEP GOING AND KILL THE ANIMALS

Just fucking kill me.

GDQ is truly dead as a livestream event due to the staff decisions over the years but every single year they manage to create a new cringiest moment of all time, and I will always respect it for that.

 

[Sharpeteer]

My only enjoyment of speedrunning is hearing the technical details behind glitches. It does fascinate me how a game gets broken. Watching somebody do a run and explain the strategies as they go along is interesting.

Watching RTA (Real Time Attack, what they call it when you're actually doing it) attempts is incredibly boring. The streamer is usually silent because they're concentrating. They keep resetting because the conditions weren't perfect or they messed up. It's so long and boring. I can't understand why anyone is watching them when they're grinding runs. They sit there and play the same shit, and get frustrated and reset the runs over and over until they actually do it. It really does suck any joy out of the game.

Now I mostly just watch speedrun lore videos as that's interesting and I see the good stuff. Back in the days GDQ was fun because the runners would be entertaining, talking about the lore, the strats and whatnot. But that is long gone, now it's "no fun allowed" bullshit, overloaded with trannies and even back then the commentaries were the worst part but with every year they become more and more important because fucking autists gotta hear their dumb dono comment or they won't be opening up their wallet and how else is Mike going to buy himself a new house without doing literally anything anymore.

Older GDQ speedruns of Pokemon games were my go-to long form background noise for quite awhile, then it obviously went to shit at a certain point, and I can't even look at the old ones the same anymore. Poisoning the well.

Then I tried Nick Rekieta as long form background noise, and well, lol.

 

[Sharpeteer]

KARL JOBST IS IN $1.8 MILLION AUS

To be clear, LUS in this video seems to be claiming or implying Karl owes Billy $1.8M. He does not owe him that amount of money, but this seems to be how much money has been put into this case by Karl and his supporters when you combine the judgment with interest, his legal fees, Billy's lawyer fees, etc. if Karl is to be believed here.


Confirming what he spent on his legal fees:


Karl confirming Billy paid more:



Confirming that appeal has lapsed. Verdict is final:

 

[I_Lurk_Here]

Don't know if anyone's posted this on the farms before but I thought maybe I should. Here's a page from Brown Bricks' blog.

 

[Barry Williams]

You forgot to mention that the record was obtained on the tutorial level on the easiest difficulty.

Speedrunning Goldeneye is insufferable because everything about it is incredibly luck based. It's like 20% technique and 80% "pray that the rescued hostage takes the shortest path to the exit" or "pray that enemies shoot you in just the right direction to boost you properly" or "pray that this one item spawns right here." Most speedruns are done on Agent because this gets even more insufferable on higher difficulties very quickly.

GoldenEye speedruns are uniquely terrible because most of the time the run is spent with Bond running forward staring at the floor. This is done because the N64 saves on resources by only loading in assets and models that the camera can see, so if you move while staring at the floor the game runs 0.1% faster or whatever the fuck.

 

[Dead Lion]

Don't know if anyone's posted this on the farms before but I thought maybe I should. Here's a page from Brown Bricks' blog.
View attachment 7326856

Archive

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

KARL JOBST IS IN $1.8 MILLION

Always put that $AUS behind it, or retards will think its $US.

 

[alphabetnigger]

Always put that $AUS behind it, or retards will think its $US.

Kangaroo cash. Dingo dollars. G'day gold