💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 901 57.9%

  • Total voters
    1,555
Of course he is [asexual]. No man with a half dozen strokes under their belt and the physique of a pumpkin can, the mechanics of it just isn't possible.
I meant I think Jack is asexual in the "doesn't care about or like sex" sense. (Maybe there is a different term for that?) But of course he's also asexual in the "doesn't have it" sense. To be scientific about it, the chode has been consumed by the fupa.

Nothing more appealing and welcoming than a cold, bare concrete slab in the front of your house.
But enough about Tammy!
 
There's very few one pot meals that are truly one pot. Make a soup in the slow cooker? Fine. Just cook the pasta or the rice separately and add it when it's done. Doesn't take that much time and nobody likes mushy pasta.
In even the classic "one pot dish" that is pot roast I usually use a minimum of three cooking implements. The first is to brown the onions and savories in a pot, then to sear the meat in the same pot after removing the savories, and the other is another pot to reduce the drippings and other liquid into a gravy.

Even if I do this in a multicooker that can do the searing, I'm still cooking multiple batches and the reduction still requires another vessel.

Yet another of the classic "one pots" is chicken and dumplings or egg noodles. While that's generally one pot while doing it, the ingredients themselves involve you already having roasted a chicken and if you're doing it right, having made stock from that very chicken.
FATTY MAD
You'd think this fat fucking retard would approve of Luigi considering he hates the healthcare industry so much, despite it being the only reason he isn't in a fucking coffin years ago.
I have tried my fair share of meat substitutes for boring logistical reasons related to keeping kosher.
I haven't seen a meat substitute I don't detest. By that I mean something explicitly intended to imitate meat. All this shit like Impossible and the Morningstar patties are just crap. Impossible in particular tasted like industrial waste. I felt eating it was like sucking off that Nazi Klaus Schwab.

My personal favorite vegan version of something American, the hamburger, is the completely unpretentious portobello burger. It's just a giant shroom on a bun. With some tamari and ginger and tomatoes and lettuce, and even some cheese if you're not vegan, another classic.

Also the absolute best pizza of all time, the Margherita, is completely kosher.

Imagine Jackhole getting served a Margherita and gurgling and death rattling in rage.
 
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Also the absolute best pizza of all time, the Margherita, is completely kosher.
If it was made with certified kosher ingredients and baked in a kosher oven, yes. There’s a reason a pizza place is usually one of the first kosher eateries to pop up in a new Orthodox community — where, contrary to what Jack claims, most people do NOT have dual US and Israeli citizenship. He was set straight on that BTW and refused to correct the record. Shocker, I know.
 
Can't even be bothered to remember how many pieces of pepperoni were on the pizza from his previous video
Whines that dominos only does stuffed crust in medium, and cost more than little caesars(no shit little caesars is cheaper)
Bitches that without a coupon the prices are stupid... like every fucking chain place in the country.
Bitches that it's only 38 pieces of pepperoni on a smaller pizza
Says they look like bigger pieces, but somehow that doesn't matter only the number of pieces
Tammy still can't take a bite of pizza without sticking her tongue out
Fatty is upset that Tammy gives the dominos pizza an A and says she'd only order the little caesars for a party.

But somehow little caesars "won" because it was 42 pepperoni on a 14" pizza vs 38 pieces on a 12" pizza... which even just by counting the number of pepperoni(which fatty said the pieces looked bigger) would mean Dominos actually put more pepperoni on the pizza even by number of pepperoni. Also, the menu price no one ever fucking pays(who the hell calls a pizza joint and doesn't ask for specials, or go straight to the coupon/deals section on the website? Come on).
 
You'd think this fat fucking retard would approve of Luigi considering he hates the healthcare industry so much, despite it being the only reason he isn't in a fucking coffin years ago.
Yeah but fatty loves rich people even more and CEOs are rich and RICH PEOPLE GUD to fatty
 
Jack not realizing he sounds like a severely retarded person who cant control their vocal chords.

Probably just a skill issue. 1000002740.webp
 
Jack not realizing he sounds like a severely retarded person who cant control their vocal chords.

Probably just a skill issue. View attachment 7332611

1. Said without any hint of irony when he has an AI pfp
2. Maybe if he stopped yelling into his iPhone like a pissed off mongoloid it would recognize what he is saying. For all of the fake accessibility features tech companies are pumping out, the speech to text for Windows, and I assume Apple's shit, is actually really good.
 
2. Maybe if he stopped yelling into his iPhone like a pissed off mongoloid it would recognize what he is saying. For all of the fake accessibility features tech companies are pumping out, the speech to text for Windows, and I assume Apple's shit, is actually really good.
Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Apple, all of their speech recognition works just fine and for the odd word they don't know you just spell it out. I don't even think it's because Fatty yells at his phone like a retard it's probably because the phone can't understand all of his coughs, snorts, gurgles, and farts every couple of syllables in addition to the fact that he can't speak for shit.

"SIRI, show *AHEM* me a pict*snort*ure of *wheeze* beetza with *cough* proni"
"here's a picture of beets and pierogi"
"this voice texting is horrible"
 
“Let’s” — nigga there’s no “us” here.

It’s amazing how little he understands about how the world works.
 
Jack thinks that picking people "they" (no clear definition on who "they" are) go after is the best qualification is a smart idea

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Stupid Jack thinks he's smart

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Jack gives words of wisdom

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These dogs would rather be anywhere else

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Jack mad about clickbait as though he doesn't use food that doesn't look like his own for thumbnails

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Jack still LARPing as a hardworking content creator

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Fatty is mad

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Schizoposting

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Jack posts a creepy AI picture of himself as a baby

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The best part is a continental breakfast is basically nothing BUT carbs, so Jack's just defending his beloved starch and SHURGURRRR again.
 
Lol @ Jack acting as if the continental breakfast at some shitty hotel is somehow a good thing. They fucking suck.

Nothing worse than the continental breakfast. Stop trying to class it up with the word “breakfast.”
Eh. It can be quite nice depending on the hotel.

I’ve had the best overnight oats and yogurt parfaits with fresh squeezed orange juice at one recently.


Lol’ing at Jack’s long-kill pet shelter (spoiler: he’s an inmate too)
 
You deserve to fail if you listen to Jack on anything.

Given he doesn't even follow his own absurd "advice" and is constantly failing, this begs the question of whether Jack would fail even harder doing what he pretends to, or is so far into the rut he ate himself into that he is no longer physically or emotionally capable of doing more than playing pretend on Twitter; @ing people as though his AI cartoon pfp of a stroked-out baby is somebody important they should recognize and defer to.
 
If it was made with certified kosher ingredients and baked in a kosher oven, yes. There’s a reason a pizza place is usually one of the first kosher eateries to pop up in a new Orthodox community — where, contrary to what Jack claims, most people do NOT have dual US and Israeli citizenship. He was set straight on that BTW and refused to correct the record. Shocker, I know.
Israel does have birthright citizenship, but it's divided into classes. Those born in Israel with at least one Israeli parent are citizens at birth, what in America (and in the Constitution) is called a natural-born citizen.

It would be kind of spergy to go into aliyah but it, while being a birthright, does not automatically make one a citizen. It's an irrevocable right that does not expire, but most American Jews have not taken it.

The U.S. has a very broad birthright citizenship ensconced in the Constitution, where the vast majority of people entitled to it received it at birth.

(Trump doesn't like that and wants to do away with it because he's still butthurt about Obama utterly roasting him years ago. Trump is a faggot. Also he can't do that.)
People who give weight loss advice online should be required to post their height, weight and full body photo before doing so.
If you're shaped like a bowling ball and have like one functional limb because of your incessant mega-strokes, you don't get to give advice to anyone, ever, about anything.

Die, Jack, Die!
Nothing worse than the continental breakfast. Stop trying to class it up with the word “breakfast.”
I'm going to hard disagree. Nothing better than a morning at some cheap motel with a Belgian waffle maker and some mandarin orange slices and a hot cup of coffee.
 
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