🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Rubber Plant]

Who knows what the world looks like to Ralph's brain at this point? It's so cooked it might actually look like a fantasy land. Goblins are constantly following him and stealing his phone and he has to hunt for treasure on the bus to catch the next one.

I'd imagine something like this:

only more blackjack and hookers

 

[Truly Rural]

I repeat that Ralph should collect as much money as he can, and put as much of it as possible toward a nicest birthday gift for Xander, and skip bday visit. Just put all the money that would be spent on the trip into a serious, adult, true parental memorable present. Also known as not being a selfish prick and making your child's birthday all about yourself, spending many hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars just so YOU get to say YOU sacrificed a lot for YOUR two hour visit where you gift him 20 bucks worth of something that'll end up in the toy box with other junk or in a closet with other clothes or worse; he'll eat and drink it, and will have no positive impact on his childhood whatsoever. You sacrifice your ego trip and visit to impress your child, and let him have it without you masturbating all over it.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Ralph isn't even the lonely dude that shows up daily at a local bar, nor at the Elk's lodge. Everyone sees those guys and immediately knows what they see. A lonely, pathetic drunkard. Ralph is tiers below those guys.

True. Ralph is to obnoxious and unlikable to even be a regular at a shitty cantina or local dive bar. He is at the “drink alone in my hovel” intolerable alcoholic tier.

He’s so bad at handling his booze that if he tries to socialize with other humans he ends up robbed, beaten or arrested. This is why Pantsu fled, she had to be around drunk Ralph, and no human will tolerate that shit for long.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I'd imagine something like this:

only more blackjack and hookers

I fear no gunt, but that THING. It scares me

Spoiler: That THING

 

[Javelin Bee]

Gunt attempts to deflect from the failure that was Guntamania 2: Coomlombia Tranny edish, missing Xander, missing flights, taking the bus, possibly getting his face re-Portugoaled again, by posting a pic of a man that resembles himself.

Archive

Bonus "jajajaja". Is he officially now a beaner?

 

[HackerX]

Gunt attempts to deflect from the failure that was Guntamania 2: Coomlombia Tranny edish, missing Xander, missing flights, taking the bus, possibly getting his face re-Portugoaled again, by posting a pic of a man that resembles himself.
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Archive

Bonus "jajajaja". Is he officially now a beaner?
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UHH, if I had to choose between being 100 lbs fatter than Ralph, or be Ralph, I'm choosing the former, LOL. The choice would remain the same if it was just swapping bodies.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

UHH, if I had to choose between being 100 lbs fatter than Ralph, or be Ralph, I'm choosing the former, LOL. The choice would remain the same if it was just swapping bodies.

I mean the great part about being fat is I can just choose to not be fat and grind it out. You can’t choose not be Ralph. It’s like saying “I’m going to choose not to be retarded” impossible.

 

[HackerX]

I mean the great part about being fat is I can just choose to not be fat and grind it out. You can’t choose not be Ralph. It’s like saying “I’m going to choose not to be retarded” impossible.

> Be Ralph.
> Chooses not to be retarded.
> "As a mattah of fact, it is YEWW who is actually retarded".
> Proceeds to do the most retarded thing possible.
> "It was all a work, yewww ayloggs!"
> Watch as no one gives a shit.
> "Haha it's been hard trip! This is going in my book."
> Gets back on xitter as every day is slightly worse than the day before.
> "Now that I think about it, it is actually YEWWW who is retarded."
> "I'm the Ralphamale."

 

[BigPeanut]

kernels of truth will be there to sniff out

just like the kernels of poop Ralph sniffed out of faith’s asshole.

 

[lowly kiwi merchant]

Piggy is blocking people again on X. I'm starting to think this isn't a very honest guy.

 

[AltisticRight]

Gunt attempts to deflect from the failure that was Guntamania 2: Coomlombia Tranny edish, missing Xander, missing flights, taking the bus, possibly getting his face re-Portugoaled again, by posting a pic of a man that resembles himself.
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Archive

Bonus "jajajaja". Is he officially now a beaner?
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Why is this imbecilic pig casting stones in his glass house?
100 pounds? That guy looks no where near 350 pounds. Yeah, he's obese.
Guess who else is obese?
- Ethan Oliver Ralph
- Ethan van Sciver (probably even fatter than piggytits)

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This explains a great deal. As has been discussed many times before, it’s extremely likely Ralph has been playing games with his money in regards to his banking and Mexican residency. It’s quite possible he has no ability to directly access banking or hard cash easily without using electronic means. If his phone was lost / stolen / traded away, he may have fucked himself out of financial services while being half a country away from Merida.

Gunty may have had a drunken mishap and stranded himself in Tijuana and had to bus his way home broke and desperate.

Oh yeah, the system is broke, not that you're a broke piggy with triple titties, Ethan.
Imagine being 40, looking like you're 70, and finding it to be a challenge to travel from one city to another. Pathetic.
Let's just say any of us lost everything during a trip. Let's just say we can't even find an Internet café to do a cardless cash withdraw from an ATM with codes. Hell, let's just say it's a remote town that has no adequate Internet access.
Any of us can just call up someone from a public phone, a police office or hospital, and get a ticket booked. The ticket can be emailed, printed, and then tucked into the pocket. Many places allow travellers to just give a name and a DOB That's it. How long would this take? 2 hours at most?

Just sad.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

The yellow flash. A character known for his incredible speed, but yellow. Hmm...

 

[Pelican Bones]

I thought yellow flash's shtick was that he was weeb wars' based black token. Am I confusing him with somebody else?

 

[Um...]

He’s so bad at handling his booze that if he tries to socialize with other humans he ends up robbed, beaten or arrested.

He gets loud and belligerent when drunk. This doesn’t go over well in Portugal or Tijuana or Mexico City or… are we seeing a pattern here? Poor piggy never learns though.

 

[HackerX]

Piggy is blocking people again on X. I'm starting to think this isn't a very honest guy.

He breathes, therefore he seethes.

Why is this imbecilic pig casting stones in his glass house?

Why does he put himself in this type of position when he takes any and all criticism so personally? People can say it's for the attention, but he ends up seething attention since it's always negative. Then he does something stupid because it's Ralph, so he calls everyone alogs and everything was actually a work. He's retarded. Plain and simple. Evan got what little good genes there were from the cursed blood line.

 

[SargonF00t]

This is why Pantsu fled, she had to be around drunk Ralph, and no human will tolerate that shit for long.

There was another reason why Pantsu fled.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Gunt attempts to deflect from the failure that was Guntamania 2: Coomlombia Tranny edish, missing Xander, missing flights, taking the bus, possibly getting his face re-Portugoaled again, by posting a pic of a man that resembles himself.
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Archive

Bonus "jajajaja". Is he officially now a beaner?
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So I know that EVS is that guy that cries about Eric July and can't make comic books or something. Yellow Flash is some guy that complains about wokeness in comic books and Disney and shit, right? These are two comic book nerds that Ralph is begging for attention from at the end of the day because Ralph will always be a big dork. The closest he ever got was getting invited to Gator's anime club.

 

[Die For Me!]

"jajajaja". Is he officially now a beaner?

This could be pictorial ebadance that his "new" phone is a hand-me-down from a native.

 

[deeman]

When just surviving a trip that any one of us could do (but wont) and is his biggest gotcha of the week, you know it's bad.

 

[HackerX]

When just surviving a trip that any one of us could do (but wont) and is his biggest gotcha of the week, you know it's bad.

"Bad" was crossed a long time ago. There's a certain point where you think it couldn't get any worse but then it does. "Then it does" has been pretty much non-stop for Ralph since The Eternal Corn Harvest© began, and we're almost at the 5th year anniversary.

Back then, did anyone think Ralph would end up be living alone in a Mexican shack? I thought the insanity peaked when he got the retarded BPD woman pregnant and released revenge porn. Then it got worse. I thought getting absolutely demolished in Portugal was the big finale. Then it got worse. And so on and so on and so on. When someone goes low, he'll go lower. He didn't just say it, he lives it.