- Joined
- Sep 10, 2020
Hi everyone!
From time to time I like to listen to book reviews through my phone on the ol' Toobz while I'm doing other things, and not too long ago the Algorithm stumbled upon something completely irrational that made me stop what I was doing and check out the screen on my phone. It was a fellow from the channel Send Me A Bad Book:
link
His review was of a book from 1977 called Eat Them Alive, by author Pierce Nace.
According to the video, the book starts off following a protagonist called Dyke (prone to daydreaming and monologuing) who is sailing on the ocean and who wants revenge over his mutilation at the hands of his former gang (he tried to rip them off, they caught him and took his genitals then left him for dead). He stumbles upon an island and experiences an earthquake on arrival. The Earthquake reveals 8' tall giant mantises that were underground, and he ends up thinking about using them for revenge.
He manages to capture one using a fishing net, because why not? Deciding to train it, he daydreams of all the people he wants to have it eat while he laughs maniacally in the background, cockless and vengeful. He takes it home, feeds it monkeys he somehow has, names it Slayer, and when someone tries to steal from him he feeds the thief to Slayer.
Next, he discovers a village of people on the Carnivore Diet, and they let him know there's yet another island of giant mantises. After this, he decides he needs some sort of chemical he can use to make his pet not want to eat him. He's able to craft a concoction that he either imbibes or smears on himself that prevents his giant mantis from wanting to consume him, and it starts to act like a dog that knows it's own name and follows commands.
He heads back to the village, convinces some of the villagers to go on a boatride with him for a getaway, and takes them to the second island of giant mantises that they told him about. He watches them exit the boat and start getting eaten by the big bugs. He apparently brought Slayer with him, and lets him free among these other mantises. The other mantises start to follow Slayers' lead, and Dyke then loads up the boat with these fucking things so he can take them to his gang for the revenge he's dreamt of.
Dyke leads Slayer and the other mantises to another village of people who are promptly eaten, and he heads for the member of the gang that cut off his junk: Pete. He doesn't have to search hard, finds him pretty quickly with his family, and holds him at gunpoint. His intention is that Pete will watch Slayer eat his family, but he also manages to get the location of the other gang members from Pete as well.
Apparently the online audiobook isn't complete, and the reviewer had to look up other reviews to find out he missed nothing worthwhile. However, there is an entry on TVTropes that reveals this wasn't written by some 70s incel dipshit, but a woman:
I've since found a copy online for C$ 323.94, and there's no way in hell I'd ever pay that for this incredible mess. I might try to give the audiobook a go, but knowing most of the story and that fact that it's missing the end makes me wary to bother. I figure if I can read the Doom Novels by Dafydd Ab Hugh, I could probably get through this retardation.
Edit: thanks for @MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti I've read the end of the book, starting from where the audiobook leaves off. Dyke does indeed have his Mantises eat his enemies and their families, but he misses the brother of his last victim, who in turn finds his own horde of mantises and brings a boatload of them to Dyke. After an all-out Giant Mantis war, the brother shoots Dyke in the chest, and while Slayer does kill him, he then turns on Dyke.
Review of the plot since I didn't read the entire thing: -4/10, would marvel at the sheer atrocity of a "chris-chan comic" about it tho
In any event, this has gotten me wondering what the strangest or most insane books you Kiwis have learned of or read yourselves. If any of you have read this, let me know.
From time to time I like to listen to book reviews through my phone on the ol' Toobz while I'm doing other things, and not too long ago the Algorithm stumbled upon something completely irrational that made me stop what I was doing and check out the screen on my phone. It was a fellow from the channel Send Me A Bad Book:
link
His review was of a book from 1977 called Eat Them Alive, by author Pierce Nace.
According to the video, the book starts off following a protagonist called Dyke (prone to daydreaming and monologuing) who is sailing on the ocean and who wants revenge over his mutilation at the hands of his former gang (he tried to rip them off, they caught him and took his genitals then left him for dead). He stumbles upon an island and experiences an earthquake on arrival. The Earthquake reveals 8' tall giant mantises that were underground, and he ends up thinking about using them for revenge.
He manages to capture one using a fishing net, because why not? Deciding to train it, he daydreams of all the people he wants to have it eat while he laughs maniacally in the background, cockless and vengeful. He takes it home, feeds it monkeys he somehow has, names it Slayer, and when someone tries to steal from him he feeds the thief to Slayer.
Next, he discovers a village of people on the Carnivore Diet, and they let him know there's yet another island of giant mantises. After this, he decides he needs some sort of chemical he can use to make his pet not want to eat him. He's able to craft a concoction that he either imbibes or smears on himself that prevents his giant mantis from wanting to consume him, and it starts to act like a dog that knows it's own name and follows commands.
He heads back to the village, convinces some of the villagers to go on a boatride with him for a getaway, and takes them to the second island of giant mantises that they told him about. He watches them exit the boat and start getting eaten by the big bugs. He apparently brought Slayer with him, and lets him free among these other mantises. The other mantises start to follow Slayers' lead, and Dyke then loads up the boat with these fucking things so he can take them to his gang for the revenge he's dreamt of.
Dyke leads Slayer and the other mantises to another village of people who are promptly eaten, and he heads for the member of the gang that cut off his junk: Pete. He doesn't have to search hard, finds him pretty quickly with his family, and holds him at gunpoint. His intention is that Pete will watch Slayer eat his family, but he also manages to get the location of the other gang members from Pete as well.
Apparently the online audiobook isn't complete, and the reviewer had to look up other reviews to find out he missed nothing worthwhile. However, there is an entry on TVTropes that reveals this wasn't written by some 70s incel dipshit, but a woman:
I've since found a copy online for C$ 323.94, and there's no way in hell I'd ever pay that for this incredible mess. I might try to give the audiobook a go, but knowing most of the story and that fact that it's missing the end makes me wary to bother. I figure if I can read the Doom Novels by Dafydd Ab Hugh, I could probably get through this retardation.
Edit: thanks for @MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti I've read the end of the book, starting from where the audiobook leaves off. Dyke does indeed have his Mantises eat his enemies and their families, but he misses the brother of his last victim, who in turn finds his own horde of mantises and brings a boatload of them to Dyke. After an all-out Giant Mantis war, the brother shoots Dyke in the chest, and while Slayer does kill him, he then turns on Dyke.
Review of the plot since I didn't read the entire thing: -4/10, would marvel at the sheer atrocity of a "chris-chan comic" about it tho
In any event, this has gotten me wondering what the strangest or most insane books you Kiwis have learned of or read yourselves. If any of you have read this, let me know.
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