DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Mature Adult]

"this is the Microsoft elite 2 controller,the most expensive one, and not even a year in we're having issues"
*4 minutes later*
"I wonder if I can just order another one right now"

words of a 43 year old man with no savings or retirement account.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

He's really buying another elite 2 controller... for Minecraft

He got one in the first place just cause of warski, he's not using any of the features of the elite and that controller is a huge rip off for anyone with a brain.

I'm disappointed we didn't get more modding on minecraft, I was hoping Duncan to send him a texture pack and to see phil struggle with drag and dropping it in the right folder.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

I maintain that whales dropping could happen at any moment and would be enough to pose an existential threat to Snort Corp. Even one swimming away might be enough.

So I’ve been contemplating where Phil will turn next and what would he do if he’s ever truly desperate. The next big content push, after the current whaled-out games are complete, is the variety show.

But after that has its two eps, if he’s feeling the pinch? What’s left?

• Direct detractor interaction
• IRL streams (last resort; we’re a long way away, of course)

Anything else?

 

[Whaler]

I maintain that whales dropping could happen at any moment and would be enough to pose an existential threat to Snort Corp. Even one swimming away might be enough.

So I’ve been contemplating where Phil will turn next and what would he do if he’s ever truly desperate. The next big content push, after the current whaled-out games are complete, is the variety show.

But after that has its two eps, if he’s feeling the pinch? What’s left?

• Direct detractor interaction
• IRL streams (last resort; we’re a long way away, of course)

Anything else?

IRL Streams will be the next thing he attempts in a desperate bid to keep the money going. He's already tried to pull it off with his closet cleaning shit, which he said he would have made two grand easily if he had done it instead of the viewers choice. He won't tell anybody where he's going and he won't do TTS donations though so it'll just be dreadful and boring.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

I’m not saying that Phil is a fucking retard who keeps throwing money at a problem instead of doing work to try and fix it, but…

And the dents keep falling for it.

 

[PetiteDragon43]

I maintain that whales dropping could happen at any moment and would be enough to pose an existential threat to Snort Corp. Even one swimming away might be enough.

So I’ve been contemplating where Phil will turn next and what would he do if he’s ever truly desperate. The next big content push, after the current whaled-out games are complete, is the variety show.

But after that has its two eps, if he’s feeling the pinch? What’s left?

• Direct detractor interaction
• IRL streams (last resort; we’re a long way away, of course)

Anything else?

As far as I know he's simply waiting on gta 6. There's no plan after that. Lately he's caught on that if he labels a stream "marathon" whales are more likely to drop by. Thats why they've been happening so frequently. But if all whales leave we might get some shit like "if all 150 of you in my audience give me 1 dollar we can hit the goal". Like... the fact that each goal is supported by a handful of people is so crazy. And he has no plan other than waiting for the revolving door.

The way he immediately pulls up Amazon on his phone and drops $140 on a replacement without even trying the most basic troubleshooting steps really says something about this guy's psychology.

Whats worse is that instead of figuring it out in a normal way he starts fucking beating it around like a neanderthal. He's so fucking retarded, bros. I really hope he doesn't unbox this shit on the prestream today. What a time wasting faggot.

 

[Lord_Point]

Nvm he has an Elite 2 and those require disassembly. God damn, this mark

E: Robust Kick banlist today
View attachment 7386334

Lmao, of course the controller he purchased was called the elite 2 instead of just getting a normal controller. I dont even need to double check its the most expensive option for no real benefit to him.

For minecraft of all games, a 1st person inventory management style game.

In a room full of controllers, any of which he can blue tooth to his computer with minimal effort.

The only solution? Buy the exact same fucking controller hes complaining broke in under a year!

In the face of such unabashed consumerism i have no choice but to kneel and consume my mcrib.

 

[Pargon]

Lmao, of course the controller he purchased was called the elite 2 instead of just getting a normal controller. I dont even need to double check its the most expensive option for no real benefit to him.

For minecraft of all games, a 1st person inventory management style game.

In a room full of controllers, any of which he can blue tooth to his computer with minimal effort.

The only solution? Buy the exact same fucking controller hes complaining broke in under a year!

In the face of such unabashed consumerism i have no choice but to kneel and consume my mcrib.

For those not in the know, or too lazy to look it up, this controller’s big selling point is its customizablity: a user can swap settings and components to tweak the device’s performance to their preferences.

This means that Phil is prepared to pay triple digit US currency not once but twice for a controller he will open and use its factory settings exclusively until the shit inevitably breaks and he offers another of his greasy holes to another massive corporation that hates him.

 

[Luigi Mangione]

Phil treating his appliances like shit and then being surprised that they stop working will never not be funny to me.

Who the fuck punches a controller like that anyway?

 

[CannedBacon]

I maintain that whales dropping could happen at any moment and would be enough to pose an existential threat to Snort Corp. Even one swimming away might be enough.

This sentiment has been on going for such a long time know from what I've gathered but it's literally become the 2 more weeks meme. These dents spawn out of nowhere and continue to give Phil money regardless of everything else that happens

 

[Lady Adjani]

Phil treating his appliances like shit and then being surprised that they stop working will never not be funny to me.

Who the fuck punches a controller like that anyway?

some things never change

 

[Switch Mongo]

"I wonder if I can just order another one right now"

words of a 43 year old man with no savings or retirement account.

Yet he stills begs and complains about his funds when it’s his own fault. Complete manchild

 

[Hamburger Detractor]

For those not in the know, or too lazy to look it up, this controller’s big selling point is its customizablity: a user can swap settings and components to tweak the device’s performance to their preferences.

This means that Phil is prepared to pay triple digit US currency not once but twice for a controller he will open and use its factory settings exclusively until the shit inevitably breaks and he offers another of his greasy holes to another massive corporation that hates him.

Well that sounds like those stupid mouth droolers at Microsoft's fault. Bill Gates himself should know by now what the best settings for Phil would be and should be testing controllers until he finds the right one to send.

This sentiment has been on going for such a long time know from what I've gathered but it's literally become the 2 more weeks meme. These dents spawn out of nowhere and continue to give Phil money regardless of everything else that happens

It's like the retarded guy version of those chicks who keep dating "bad boys" because they think they'll be the one to fix them. Every one of them watches Phil treat everyone else like shit and think to themselves "he'll never talk to me that way" until he does then they get shocked Pikachu face and will either leave or crawl back under a new sock after a day or 2.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Does this mean Phil punches Kat when she doesn’t work?

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

There's $20 Hall effect PC controllers that are more reliable than the $200 on XBox Elite 2. But, first time I'm glad these first-party dogshit controllers get to fuck over someone with their garbage practices.

 

[#lurker]

Just want to pat myself on the back for calling it:

I know there are bigger topics at the moment, but the fact he bought an Elite 2 controller is guaranteed kino in the future. Every single one of those controllers will break within 6-12 months, very poor quality control.

Again, do not buy Elite 2 controllers, they are a scam.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Just want to pat myself on the back for calling it:

Again, do not buy Elite 2 controllers, they are a scam.

ConsoomerSydePhil wins again.

 

[PieceofShet]

Last night when he ordered the new gamepad, he tried to cancel it and when he couldnt, he started to complain that "this is the problem with overnight shipping". No shit idiot, how about not impulse buying shit you dont need?

 

[Malakim Phoros]

This is sorta unrelated. But I find it weird that it seems like since he started drinking that gin and tonic was his go to drink. I find it weird since that's a old lady drink, I wonder if he picked it up from Linda

 

[00R-Gundam]

Okay you mahrans, clearly if something stops working you should replace it, troubleshooting be dammed. Now ill explain to you book-smart people in a way youll understand.

Okay so lets say you have a sandwich shop...