Kiwifarms MS Paint Adventures

check the bitcoin and ethereum balance
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You're compelled to check in on your INVESTMENTS before you log off. On this fine evening, the 17TH OF MAY, 2025 A.D. BITCOIN trades for 103K, ETHEREUM trades for 26K. Perhaps this will be important later.

fantasize about SAINT TERRY.
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You attempt to FANTASIZE about THE HALLOWED SAINT TERRY, GOD'S FAVORITE PROGRAMMER. Unfortunately, you find you had expended all your phantasmagorical energy earlier, fantasizing about LIDL DRIP. Your brain hurts as you overexert yourself.

You hope the spirit of SAINT TERRY will protect your from GLOWNIGGERS.

Retrieve ARMS from CAGE
check the hamster cage
>RETRIEVE DRAGON DILDO

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There are no ARMS, DRAGON DILDOS, or anything really, in your HAMSTER CAGE besides your HAMSTERS. You take inventory of your HAMSTER CAGE. You currently possess the following HAMSTERS:

MACHO HAMSTER
SUFFRAGETTE HAMSTER
SCHIZO HAMSTER
EMO HAMSTER
RAIN HAMSTER
 
>Crown Rain Hamster as the number one hamster in your heart
give all the HAMSTERS head pats
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You give loving headpats to all your HAMSTERS, choosing RAIN HAMSTER as your favorite companion and muse.

Go to the fridge and admire your stockpile of fancy european cheeses
Checks his fridge to see he is missing the grail of all edible condiments, hollandaise sauce and Great American, sliced yellow cheese. TIME TO DOORDASH !
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It's finally time to leave your room. After spending the better part of an entire day cooped up in there, your stomach screams for sustenance, there is but one substance capable of satiating such hunger: CHEESE!

To reach the kitchen, you must go east. To the west is the door leading to the basement, to the northwest are the stairs leading to the second floor, where the observation deck and armory may be found. You sight your SLOBBERMUTT deep in slumber by the fireplace.

You do admit that your abode is rather spartan when it comes to furniture and fittings. It lacks a certain feminine touch, if only you had a BOYFRIEND FREE GIRL to handle matters of domestic decorum...
 
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