- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
I would give up just about all my dreams to be with her. She's my ultimate dream. I would forsake most of my life goals for her.
Lolcow Andrew Peter Carlson / Anaiah Carlson / Tamarlover / Xtamarlover - Jewish/Christian Wannabe Cult Leader, Stalker, Ugly af, dogfucker, mayor of spitsville
- Thread starter The Jumping Dwarf
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2017
L
LD 3187
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Do you realize this was basically a rape threat? Do you even understand how bad this paints you?
- Joined
- May 27, 2015
If you truly loved her, you would stand back and let her be happy.
What you want is to own her. And that is wrong.
You are going to lose everything this way.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
Until I find someone else, there is no one else for me. If I find someone else better than her, then I'll pursue that better person instead. Also I want to make sure i never feel this way about any woman ever again. So if I can't be with her, I want to find a woman that i don't have to go crazy over to get. I will not put myself through this again. I can only do this for one woman. If I can't get her, I don't have the energy or desire to ever do this again. It would be too disheartening. But I can bear it for this one woman to try so hard as I am doing.
Only two months. Last year I worked on a farm hoping maybe I could move down to virginia and become friends with her eventually. It didn't work out unfortunately. My pursuit of this woman caused my friendship with my friends on the farm to go downhill. I left the farm on good terms but when the court stuff was happening I was banned from returning to the farm unless I change my ways.
I still don't have much experience though unfortunately. I could make four wells on my land according to the laws. One well per 10 acres. Also I could make water out of air with a water into air machine. Thats if i ever get the money to do that
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Telefunken
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2017
You honestly sound like John Hinckley Jr. Minus the Reagan assassination.
You have not read much about Jim Jones or Marshall Applewhite. Neither of them had extensive criminal records or "intentions" of violence.
You also have abused someone. You abused and are abusing the woman you are stalking.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
I'm not sure I agree with that, but maybe you are right. Half of me agrees with you and half of me doesn't.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Good luck on that continuing, psycho.
You have a huge history of mental illness and your insane textwalls prove that. Perhaps it hasn't been diagnosed but you're clearly deeply mentally ill and you will end up in prison, a loony bin, or a grave.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
(If this is too long to read, just go to the ps part where I say i wont hurt her)
"
Tamar. When former friendships are super important to me, I start thinking all kinds of crazy things of trying to restore the friendship. Usually when my friendships end, I just move on and ignore and forget about the person. But when the person was super important to me I just can't let go unless I go through a major lifechanging experience. Let me tell you what happened to me in 2008-2009. I had a friendship with a guy named "Davey". He stopped being my friend and cut me off from his life because he considered me a bad influence, and I was so hurt by him and felt abandoned by him. So i followed him to college: Liberty University in Virginia. I followed a GUY to college!!! That sounds so sad and pathetic. But I did that, because he was so important to me and I loved him (not gay), and I desperately wanted to restore friendship with him.
Now listen to me. I wish I could let go of you and move on but I can't. That is why I ask you to help me. Because I am willing to go to Virginia a second time to fix the friendship that was most important to me in my entire life, thats how crazy I am and what I am thinking about doing. So I am warning you about my thoughts that I am having, and that I may do something crazy if you don't help me to move on and let go. I would do just about anything to change your mind and win your heart and friendship back to me. I would even be willing to hire private investigators to track you down.
I need you to help me so that I don't do anything like this. I need closure from you if you want me to let go and move on. I need you to tell me why you are unable to forgive me for what I did when 1.I love you with all my heart. 2.I didn't mean to wrong you when i did the wrongs. 3.I am willing to do anything to make restitution and to right my wrongs and to earn your forgiveness 4.I would do anything to help you and defend you and stand by your side and to protect you. 5.You mean the world to me. 6.We are the closest to each other in our beliefs and faith. 7.I could be there for you when you have no one else, and enable you to pursue your career without having to worry about your children in the hands of the Gentiles.
So can you tell me why you are unwilling to forgive me, please? Or can you tell me why you don't love me? Why can't you just give me one chance to live with you in person, and to be your husband? I just wish so much you would let me be your husband. I want your love and to be with you Tamar. Why do you hate me when you know how much I love you and how sorry I am? Why are you so eager to push me out of your life when all I want is to make you happy and have your dreams come true? I know I can be ridiculous at times, but everyone has their issues. Why can't you just overlook my negative qualities and love me for all the wonderful positive things about me? Especially considering the fact that I would do whatever it takes to better myself and try to remove my negative qualities. I overlook the things we disagree on, because you are so close to my standard of righteousness and perfection.
Tamar, I am a rare gem. You won't find someone like me. There is a reason your relationships have not lasted and that is because you are not compatible with most people. Thats just the truth and you know it. But I am telling you Tamar, you just gotta believe me: you and I ARE compatible! We are the most compatible people in the world. You won't find someone closer to you than me I REALLY don't think you will. I keep trying to be with you because I love you so much and I want you to have your dreams come true; i want you to have your one true love. My heart is broken for you seeing how many times you break up with someone after an intimacy. I want you to finally have a man who loves you with all his heart and who wants righteousness and tamiym just as much as you do. If you reject me, then I really think and fear you will never find love or true happiness. I think if you had me as your partner, you would be 10-100 times happier than you currently are. Because I would pour my love on you fully.
I don't want us to be enemies. I could easily become your enemy if I wanted to but i dont want to. And i dont want to spread anything bad about you so I am not doing that. Listen Tamar, any other guy would have given up on you so long ago. After being told off like you have told me off, they would have moved on to other fish in the sea. But let me tell you what: You alone are the one I love. I am a true monogamist at heart because of you. And I value and respect your opinion more than everyone else. So please either:
1.Be my friend again, or 2.Marry me. or 3.Help me to let go of you and move on.
If you want me to stop loving you and to let go of you and move on, then PLEASE HELP ME. I want to, BUT I CANT. Because you are just so much in my heart and I am so deeply in love. So please if you can help me, convince me not to do anything crazy to try and be with you. Please Tamar! I dont want to do anything stupid but I am afraid I will if I dont stop desiring to do what I am thinking of doing. HELP ME STOP LOVING YOU. I NEED YOUR HELP =(. Please convince me to stop loving you. Like tell me why we are not compatible or why I should not want to be your friend or something. Maybe if you try to reason with me I can change. Or maybe if you plea to me to stop I will have compassion on you out of my heart for you and will let you go or something. Please just help me! I am scared I will do something really foolish and be led down a negative and selfdestructive path. Please put a stop to my heart's desire. I am begging of you. Or else love me or be my friend. Anything to help me not do anything I would regret later on and which would make you even more angry and despising of me. I dont want to do anything bad =(.
(Ps I would NEVER try to hurt you, and I would NEVER try to do anything heinous. Know that i would NEVER attack you physically, EVER. Do not fear that I would try to do something wicked against you. I could never even dare or dream to do something like that because I love you)
So what do you say? Can you send me a helpful email? An email to help me let go and move on if you truly don't want to ever be my friend or have anything to do with me again? Please help Tamar. Let me know.
-Anaiah
Melinda Scott
8/3/15
to me
I can respond soon.
--Tamar
Sent from my iPad
Melinda Scott <yaelbatyah@yahoo.com>
8/3/15
to me
Did my first email come through to you? Before I send a reply to your emails, I want to make sure they are coming through. Yahoo email has some issues sometimes. Also, my wifi is unstable.
"
A few emails after that, she said: "
8/6/15
to me
Ok. My wifi connection has been limited and poor strength.
You wrote a lot in the last message, and I havent been able to read it thoroughly and go through all it. I can say though what I meant about "extreme opposites" is that you show qualities of good and wicked and I have not usually met anyone like that, so I dont know what to make of it. Usually most people I have met either show one set of the qualities or the other, but you show both. So, not sure what to make of it yet.
--Tamar
"
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2013
You are weird and psychotic and she will never love you. There is nothing to salvage. Move on.
- Joined
- May 13, 2016
If this girl has a restraining order placed on you then obviously she had to convince the court system that you were a viable threat. They don't just issue these out mindlessly.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
I can't show you the videos, because I don't want them to be on the internet for others to see. if i knew you wouldn't share them with others, then maybe but i don't really trust anyone here considering the type of place this is. I don't masturbate only thinking about Tamar, but most of the time, yes. And yes its a sin. I'm evil and not saved and not righteous person. I am one of the few religious people who admits loudly that he is not saved and that he is currently on his way to hell because of his sins. I'm currently on a hellish path in some of what I've been doing. So i have to stop the hellish things and only do the good things. I think pursuing her is a good thing, but how I have been pursuing her in certain inappropriate ways has been hellish of me. No one hates myself more than me probably. I know I am a horrible person in many ways. But I also know I am a good person in many ways. My desire to pursue her is not wrong. But some of how I pursued her that is wrong and that is what I am ashamed about. So now I have to figure out how to pursue her without doing anything wrong. Certain thing to me are clearly wrong and I would never do. Other things are more fuzzy and more easily justifiable but only afterwards do I see how wrong I was in doing them.
At least from my perspective it seems like its worth all the trouble in the world. But maybe years later looking back I'll realize this wasn't worth the trouble. But I can't know. I just know if I can get her it will be worth it. If i can't get her, then maybe it wasn't worth it. But its a risk i'm willing to take.
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- Joined
- Oct 25, 2015
who was Davey?" Let me tell you what happened to me in 2008-2009. I had a friendship with a guy named "Davey". He stopped being my friend and cut me off from his life because he considered me a bad influence, and I was so hurt by him and felt abandoned by him. So i followed him to college: Liberty University in Virginia. I followed a GUY to college!!! That sounds so sad and pathetic. But I did that, because he was so important to me and I loved him (not gay), and I desperately wanted to restore friendship with him.
"
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Timecube is forever. Don't doubt timecube or let the teachers make you dumb.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
I'm aware why others might think it sounds psycho. But its not. Maybe its wrong but its not psycho.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2013
Do you consider yourself autistic?
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
No i want to do a type of education where there is no curriculum. I don't agree with curriculums because curriculums force people to believe something even if its wrong.
Telefunken
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2017
Just a few quick questions:
Do you hear voices when no one is around?
Do you think that God/Jesus communicates directly with you?
Do you think the government is out to get you?
Is there a conspiracy against you?
Are you a prophet or religious figure?
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2014
You mean like believing a chick wants to be with you even tho she married someone else and got a restraining order against you?
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
I don't know much about them, but ultimately it doesn't matter because all I need to know is myself. And I know who I am and what I would do or what I am willing to do or not do. The things you are saying about being a murderous cult leader. Its never gonna happen. Because i'm not that type of person. You don't have to believe that but i know it to be true.
I honestly don't know.
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