Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

[30+GameOvers]

I think the most damning appraisal of Shadows is the fact I've not even seen people make memes on the game any more.

Even Concord is still being joked about and it's been completely unplayable for 8 months.

Again, I bet Japanese are still mocking this game. I wish I was more active in that side of the internet, I bet there is some spicy content out there. As for the English side of things, yeah nobody gives a single fuck.

It was so obvious that entire game was riding on having Giancarlo Esposito as the villain, only for them to somehow make him the worst antagonist since the series rebooted with 3. Vaas had more charisma, Pagan Min was strangely endearing and Joseph Seed ended up being completely fucking right; I can't even remember what Esposito's character was called, never mind what he actually did in the game.

I would like them to make FC7 just to see where they go after 6.

These games would benefit from having a faction system, being able to side with "the villain' and all that. Sure, you can make a meme choice in 4 and 5 to skip right to ending credits in 5-15 minutes if that's what you want, but I mean actually being able to side with "UbisoftTM Charismatic Villains" and fight alongside their men against le reddit revolutionaries. That would make their games at least bearable, altho I don't think even that would save 6's dogshit "rock paper scissors" ammo system. I have no clue what they were thinking there.

 

[gaysexenjoyer]

Them making a game set in, lets be completely honest, Cuba but being to big of ideologically calcified pussies to actually critique communism or Castro felt so slimy.

They pulled a fascist dictatorship with zero historical precedent in that part of the world out of their ass just so they could make guerillas the good guys. It's not even subtle.

 

[Billow Riley]

Because a timer is what people want in an open world game?

Super no thanks then, Ubishit has too many quests for me to ever wanna do that on a timer.

In theory, a time limit would be great. There wouldn't be room for them to add as much time wasting bullshit since you wouldn't have much time to spare.
But it's Ubisoft, so it's likely to have just as much time wasting bullshit but instead of doing it for malaria pills or resistance points, you'll be doing it to refill your timer.

 

[Oliver Onions]

But it's Ubisoft, so it's likely to have just as much time wasting bullshit but instead of doing it for malaria pills or resistance points, you'll be doing it to refill your timer.

Let's be real: the timer is there so Ubisoft can sell you time limit expansions for premium currency in the game's store, just like the XP boosts in Assassins Creed to counter the artificially inflated grind.

Ubisoft always invent problems so they can sell you the solution.

 

[p1138]

Let's be real: the timer is there so Ubisoft can sell you time limit expansions for premium currency in the game's store, just like the XP boosts in Assassins Creed to counter the artificially inflated grind.

Ubisoft always invent problems so they can sell you the solution.

Exactly, this isn't going to be something like Majoras Mask where the timer mechanic matters, it'll just be Ubisoft trying to fuck consumers with microtransactions for convenience.

 

[East_Clintwood]

Yo dawg I heard u like maintenance. I know there are some other Div 2 players here. I'm curious if you guys got Brooklyn and if so what you thought of it.

 

[Hermiöne Granger]

Ubisoft posts a pic of Sam Fisher just ahead of SummerGameFest. I just wonder how much Ubisoft are gonna fuck up this remake with their woke shit.

 

[Lone MacReady II]

All the remakes in the world won't beat a default Chaos Theory... and they won't top Amon Tobin's ost.

 

[ZMOT]

Ubisoft posts a pic of Sam Fisher just ahead of SummerGameFest. I just wonder how much Ubisoft are gonna fuck up this remake with their woke shit.

woke shit is a given, but stealth games were somewhat of a niche even when vidya was more of an enthusiast nerd thing.
I can't even imagine how much it's gonna be raped in terms of gameplay for "modern audiences"

 

[Miller]

Ubisoft probably know that they have no talent left that could write a proper story for Splinter Cell so they are remaking the original, lol

I'm curious if you guys got Brooklyn and if so what you thought of it.

I've played the first 3 missions and it's meh so far. It's still a better location than Washington.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Ubisoft posts a pic of Sam Fisher just ahead of SummerGameFest. I just wonder how much Ubisoft are gonna fuck up this remake with their woke shit.

Was there not a plot point in one of the later games that Sam was training his daughter how to do his cool spy shit? I'd expect that will be the avenue they use to inject current year shit. Expect cringe in the same vein as Wolfenstein Youngblood.

I can't even imagine how much it's gonna be raped in terms of gameplay for "modern audiences"

I'll put money down now it's going to run on the same engine as Assassin's Creed (Anvil?) and gameplay will be nothing but hold down stealth button and push forward to win.

 

[East_Clintwood]

I've played the first 3 missions and it's meh so far

It's funny, meh was about my reaction as well. I've run 2 characters through the story fully and I've done basically all of the collectibles + hunters and stuff. There's nothing I really hate about it, but there's also nothing that really grips me either. The story feels a bit disjointed trying to cram in multiple factions and bringing in characters most people won't know, only to get rid of them super quickly. The Purple Drank Flame wasn't quite as obnoxious as I feared it would be, although I did have one hilarious mission where it bugged out and wouldn't go away, but neither would my Memento bonus armor so it was basically a wash.

The design of the missions is kinda weird though. Seems like there's way more spawns than in previous missions, and in several places they spawn from all around you, or there's turret bullshit to deal with which renders the new Smart Cover skill kinda pointless. They offsite missions also seem super long, and then the on map ones are insanely short, it really seems like they could have split the difference and made them all more inline with other missions. Locking The Catalyst exotic as a random drop from the final boss of the last mission which is like 20-30 minutes is fucking retarded.

It's still a better location than Washington.

Maybe it's because I've put so much time into Washington while grinding levels so I know it much better but I'm not a huge fan of the new map. There's a bunch of places where thanks to elevation changes or weird building designs there's no decent straight-ish path from A to B which is a PITA. One thing I do like though is with all 4 control points held there seems to be way more Supply Drop and Hostage Rescues missions than even the normal NY map, which will probably be useful once I get back to grinding priority objectives.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Ubisoft posts a pic of Sam Fisher just ahead of SummerGameFest. I just wonder how much Ubisoft are gonna fuck up this remake with their woke shit.

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View attachment 7431225

I take that as a threat and don't appreciate it one bit
Hopefully, Ubisoft goes completely bust/absorbed by Tencent before it ever comes out.

 

[Miller]

Locking The Catalyst exotic as a random drop from the final boss of the last mission which is like 20-30 minutes is fucking retarded.

That's so fucked up. I kept failing the final objective because it was taking me ages to destroy the marauder so I ended up restarting the entire mission with some randoms, all of that for no reward at the end...
The boss fight against the Rat Queen was ridiculous too, it's like they saw what the other Ubishit team did on Ghost Recon Breakpoint and decided to do the same.

Spoiler: about the story

Also the zeppelin, really? Why introduce it only to have it destroyed 5 minutes later?! Couldn't the Black Tusk achieve the same thing by rigging a bunch of drones to several marauders?
So this DLC was about a magic 3D printer? Really? LMAO

The design of the missions is kinda weird though. Seems like there's way more spawns than in previous missions, and in several places they spawn from all around you, or there's turret bullshit to deal with which renders the new Smart Cover skill kinda pointless. They offsite missions also seem super long, and then the on map ones are insanely short, it really seems like they could have split the difference and made them all more inline with other missions.

It feels like they designed the missions to be played only in co-op.

 

[East_Clintwood]

I kept failing the final objective because it was taking me ages to destroy the marauder so I ended up restarting the entire mission with some randoms, all of that for no reward at the end...

Hey look on the plus side, apparently it's fucking broken anyway: https://trello.com/c/oQ1ad3hT I've seen a bunch of people saying it took them dozens of runs to get, so fuck it. There's a couple of unconfirmed rumours so far that it can drop from wandering bosses in Brooklyn. Given there's a fairly consistent spawn right next to a fast travel point, I might take the occasional shot and see if it does.

The boss fight against the Rat Queen was ridiculous too, it's like they saw what the other Ubishit team did on Ghost Recon Blackpoint and decided to do the same.

Honestly the Rat Queen fight might be the worst part of the DLC. I kinda wish it was like the refinery boss fight where there's a mechanic to help you damage them, or you can brute force your way through it if you prefer. Enforced immunity has always been shit, pretty sure the most hated fight before this was the Recruiter. Also whoever gave her shock ammo for her sniper is an absolute bellend.

Spoiler: story stuff

Also the zeppelin, really? Why introduce it only to have it destroyed 5 minutes later?! Couldn't the Black Tusk achieve the same thing by rigging a bunch of drones to several marauders?

Yeah the zepplin is weird. Looks rad, but kinda shitty both from a lore perspective and a mechanics perspective. Like you point out they already have marauders, and razorbacks which are air transportable, for spamming drones, so why bother with the bomb launchers? Also why is it nuclear powered and have all that fancy tech on it? I mean if you just want it for bombing, making a giant balloon that drops shit is something we figured out by the First World War.

Mechanically I kinda hate that it just sits there, other than the one bit where it releases drones. Seriously they couldn't have at least put some weakpoints on it to destroy to stop them like the razorback fight? You take out a handful of drones from the hundreds it appears to launch, then just hack some terminals and that's that. What a fucking blueball of a cool set piece

So this DLC was about a magic 3D printer? Really? LMAO

Pretty much. I love the way when it's pointed out that's the thing Theo and Keener used to make the Eclipse virus he's like "yeah but we dont do that anymore". Oh cool I'll just leave the potential WMD with the guy who previously made a fucking bioweapon with it because he pinky promises he won't do that again.

It feels like they designed the missions to be played only in co-op.

They very well might have. The seasonal modifiers are also pretty clearly focused on group play as well with the various Link active modifiers. Not to mention they finally fixed the journey so it can be done in a group, maybe they just naturally expect everyone to matchmake.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Them making a game set in, lets be completely honest, Cuba but being to big of ideologically calcified pussies to actually critique communism or Castro felt so slimy.

They pulled a fascist dictatorship with zero historical precedent in that part of the world out of their ass just so they could make guerillas the good guys. It's not even subtle.
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Far Cry has used fake nations for 20 years now. Sole exception is Far Cry 4 which used a fake county in the US. But yes, its very gay if they used nazis instead of communists. I didn't play that one and couldn't say.

 

[moocow]

Sole exception is Far Cry 4 which used a fake county in the US.

That was Far Cry 5 and that neon-pink double-nigger-protagonist add-on nobody played. Far Cry 4 was the fake country in the Himalayas ("Kyrat") with the gorgeous map and environments, which in fact they re-used for Far Cry Primal (to its benefit). FC4 was also the last one (to my recollection) with an actually charismatic, competent and entertaining villain in it (who was arguably better for the country than the rebels that replaced him), including a secret ending where the villain literally helps your character accomplish his initial purpose for entering the country in the first place and then sends him back home safely (spoiler: it's heavily implied you're his son).

 

[Snekposter]

That was Far Cry 5 and that neon-pink double-nigger-protagonist add-on nobody played. Far Cry 4 was the fake country in the Himalayas ("Kyrat") with the gorgeous map and environments, which in fact they re-used for Far Cry Primal (to its benefit). FC4 was also the last one (to my recollection) with an actually charismatic, competent and entertaining villain in it (who was arguably better for the country than the rebels that replaced him), including a secret ending where the villain literally helps your character accomplish his initial purpose for entering the country in the first place and then sends him back home safely (spoiler: it's heavily implied you're his son).

Heavily implied? Its all but stated outright in your mom's various journals.

 

[moocow]

Heavily implied? Its all but stated outright in your mom's various journals.

Well I mostly mean Ubisoft didn't take their usual "subtle" approach of beating the player over the head with it by e.g. having the main character have a dramatic "oh my god that's my FATHER!" moment with the rebel leaders. You actually had to read those completely skippable journals to get the real story.

 

[Xenomorphs Are Cute]

It is with immense pleasure of mine to announce that Pride Month is so dead to corporate Twitter at the moment that apart from some ultra-pozzed ones such as League of Legends, Warframe, etc. not a single corporate dipped it's logo in the rainbow.

However, the cherry on top of the cake here is that somehow Rainbow 6 Siege twitter just posted a Men's Mental Health Awareness Month tweet [A/GA]. Putting aside their games being one of the leading causes of it all.

Mensisters, we are so back.

Edit: I just checked & the Rainbow 6 Intel page apparently posted Pride Month post [A/GA], just 25 minutes after a Men's Mental Health Awareness post [A/GA] of their own. Which they're getting dunked on, btw.