Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Marc]

Old jokes made many times before in the thread: The reason Jack holds so many, insufferable "opinions" that are seemingly incompatible with one another is because he doesn't stand for anything unless there's a kitchen island or SUV to lean on. Jack will tell people to abstain from eating any ingredient they can't pronounce, then eat whatever he wants because his inability to pronounce anything correctly would lead him to starve to death if he followed his own imperatives. When I see Jack ordering people to stop eating "chemicals", I immediately picture him dictating it to Siri while his working hand takes another handful of snacks out of a giant jar labeled only with the word "chemicals", and his fat rolls spill over the arm of the sofa and leave deep, yellow stains above a small pile of dead bugs poisoned by contact with them.

This site documents many fat fuck lolcows who are control freaks about their image and what people on the Internet are allowed to say about them, and who rage at others for failing to meet their unrealistic and arbitrary expectations, simply because they lack self-control. Everything Jack has done and publicized for the sake of realizing his dream of "be famous, important person Gawd will strike down others for criticizing" comes from a quality and mentality of inferiority normally observed only in children. In this case, it's a fat, slow child who can't compete with his brothers or peers in any area he's observed (and resented) them receiving praise for. So he copes "I'm a foodie because I'm fat, a Krish-ten because I go to a big church, and a health guru because Jesus will cure me any day, now; which means I can keep doing whatever I want in the meantime while I wait to reap the rewards of my faultless lifestyle directed by the whims of my vices." Meanwhile, anyone who has to be around Jack prays over knowing just how hard he's going to shit when he dies; and hoping they're not present for it.

Jack fancies himself the everyman, when he's inferior to the common man in every respect, and the inferiorities continue to mount as he sanctimoniously eats himself into increasingly dire circumstances. Jack is like an Old Testament parable about a glutton who denies their sin by asserting that it is Yahweh who blesses them with food obtained through making others miserable.

 

[Neko GF]

BURGER KING HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON​

(06/04/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=ao4N0CfmDLo

Spoiler: Local Archive

 

[northamericanape]

He made his wife wheel him into the restaurant. Why not just eat it in the car so she doesn't have to do that?

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

He made his wife wheel him into the restaurant. Why not just eat it in the car so she doesn't have to do that?

Jack has an autistic level of obsession with eating in fast food dining rooms. He was extremely butthurt during the pandemic when they all closed their dining rooms.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

I also think he wants to draw attention to himself. He really believes that people are going to react like it's Gordon Ramsay coming in to eat.

Is he still larping carnivore? Because why bother reviewing a meal that you can't eat?

I know the answer but Jack has been especially annoying lately.

 

[Marc]

I love that every thing Jack is dependable for is something detrimental he devotes his remaining brainpower to pretending he doesn't do, and that no one could possibly perceive or infer. Yet he insists on making every one of them part of his brand.

I can't wait until audibly and conspicuously voiding his bowels in public becomes a fixture of every video that he inconsistently attempts to edit around: "Hey gaiiise. We had to leave Arbvy's due to a fabily eburgency...and now, our food is cold. But here's....the rest of the review: *visibly, audibly pauses breath to remember where he is* Tammy thought it was gud."

 

[jazzpunker]

what is that intro ive not payed attention to jack in a really long time lol

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack is the last person to talk about people being lazy



Malding about not everyone loving Daddy



What the fuck did he mean by this

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

What the fuck did he mean by this

View attachment 7454502

Maybe he’s referring to Glenn Greenwald? Who knows, Fatty will just post whatever random thought bubbles up to the surface of his mushbrain.

 

[Super Hans v2]

What the fuck did he mean by this

He's trying to bullshit that just because he's most known for calling for napalming millions of people and throttling his own son for weed smoking that they are complete lies because it wasn't posted to his channel.

 

[Steak Tartare]

BURGER KING HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON​

(06/04/25)
Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=ao4N0CfmDLo

00:28 “I’m out of breath” (((((from walking from the house to the car))) is how the video starts
00:34 “So we’re at Burger King. Why are we at Burger King?” he poses this question to the curious audience, who are going crazy not knowing what reasons could compel one to go to Burger King. Me personally, my best guess is that it’s for the food. 

00:38 Oh lol it’s because “I grew up where fast food place would to tie-ins with movies.” I wonder what unique location this could be, as this didn’t happen anywhere else in the world.
1:15 I love that he hasn’t touched all the fastfood rapper/streamer meals with a 10-foot pole (TOO WOKE), but the How to Train Your Dragon meal gets Scalfatty running out of his house so quickly that he is out of breath.
1:36 He is impressed by a picture of the meal. “Ooh, a video screen oh cool.” Impressed by the video screen? I am not impressed. “Looks like there is a drink, a dessert, oh is that a hamburger?” here’s the ambiguous ‘Is it a hamburger????’ in question

2:00 the meal is just normal menu items (or small variations) with thematic names, as it always goes with these type of things. The ‘soaring California strawberry lemonade’ is just strawberry lemonade. 

2:08 lol a Christmas tree up in May or June? In a damn burger king? Goddamn he is so giddy every single time at the idea of eating slop. 


2:32 sorry to keep harping on this, but this BK has table decorations too? Where I live you’re more likely to find wet paper towels and needle caps.


2:40 as almost always with Scalfani family adventures, no one else is in the dining room because it’s 2025. 

2:49 lemonade review from Tammy: “it’s good”
2:55 J: “So that’s the highpoint so far.” Yes, if you’ve tried one food item that one would be the high point I suppose.
3:33 Aight maybe I’m hungry but the burger looks decent for fast food.
4:04 Nice little 5 second clip of Tammy hating Jacks guts, rolling her eyes to the side as the wendigo expresses it’s only desire: to CONSUME

4:20 Tammy blinks so much. Also lol he keeps cutting the camera back to the burger which he wants to shove in his mouth so bad. The verdict on the mozzarella sticks “they’re good”
5:40 Whole combo review from Tammy: “I think it’s good. You should try it.”
6:08 Jack: “There you go guize. Enjoy the movie, then go to Burger King after or before, and enjoy the food.” This is nothing new, but I cannot stand his soul-less corporate slop shilling.
End: If we take Jack at his word (NOT ADVISED) his entire order was a 12-oz cup of water with ice. Lol they talked about “the dessert is coming” multiple times and then completely forgot to film it. Mommy’s special little boy also did not get his BK crown which he looked excited about. Jack did nothing here except shakily hold a camera in his resentful wife’s face while she reviewed things as “good.”

 

[densedance]

Didn't this retard sperge on Twitter last few times about CHEMICAL FOODS but not it feels like every Jack Tammy on the Go Show feels like some review for some goyslop?

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

So Jack is telling people to see the movie, even though they cast a black chick as a Viking? Is he becoming progressive?

(And yes I'm aware the character in the animated version is voiced by a Latina)

RE Tammy's blinking - that's often a sign of lying and/or stress.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

So Jack is telling people to see the movie, even though they cast a black chick as a Viking? Is he becoming progressive?

Jack's IQ is literal subhuman levels, he's the same moron who thought Storm from the X-Men was a white woman who got raceswapped because woke yet never questioned Nick Fury

 

[Adamska]

So Jack is telling people to see the movie, even though they cast a black chick as a Viking? Is he becoming progressive?

He's so retarded and easily entertained that he only gets angy and says film bad if they start actively pegging on screen. Otherwise it's gud since noises happened and he ate a whole bucket of popcorn since he's too brain damaged to actually get anything else out of it.

He also is a mantoddler who wants to defend these slop factories since even as a full grown man he'd watch the shit you'd see on Nick, Disney, and Cartoon Network. He unironically fucking watched Blues Clues when his kids grew out of it before then.

So he nowadays just wants to defend these shitty cgi slopshit remakes because it was da movie he liked. He'd probably rage out and block you if you point this out.

He threw a fit when Mufasa fucking bombed, and cheered when the Stitch Remake that only cost 100 mil made money due to actually being cheap, despite how it's blatantly anti-family.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

what is that intro ive not payed attention to jack in a really long time lol

It’s called cheerful monkeys

Jack probably didn’t pay for it. $80


It’s not on the wiki. I had to search here for it. Not much on there really unless you’re obsessed with Junior.

 

[Enig]

It’s called cheerful monkeys

Jack probably didn’t pay for it. $80


It’s not on the wiki. I had to search here for it. Not much on there really unless you’re obsessed with Junior.

I really want to know how a meltbrain like Jack stumbled upon offbrand Splatoon music and chose it of all songs, it’s an almost CWC-like decision in how unfitting it really is

 

[Doctor of Autism]

He threw a fit when Mufasa fucking bombed, and cheered when the Stitch Remake that only cost 100 mil made money due to actually being cheap, despite how it's blatantly anti-family.

Not to mention acting like Disney should roll out the red carpet for him because he predicted the movie would make money.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

You’d think after YEARS of doing these reviews, Tammy would consult a thesaurus or just think of other ways to describe the food. These two are so well-matched.

 

[AnOminous]

I really want to know how a meltbrain like Jack stumbled upon offbrand Splatoon music and chose it of all songs, it’s an almost CWC-like decision in how unfitting it really is

There's a reason Jack got mega-fired from his job as a shitty DJ. He was probably playing retard shit like this.