Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dondeld Dock]

Does jack have a reddit account? This is exactly the same retarded shit the soy faggots on reddit spout all the time. "It's just like what happened in that book/movie!" If jack has a reddit account, I wonder how much stupid shit he has written there.

He does and he has a community in there as well.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

He does and he has a community in there as well.

lol

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Yay! Mayonaise slopped wings that taste just like mayonnaise corn!

Jack starts off reading youtoob comments.


CU POISON AYG JAR!

CU Homer buckets and curtain room divider!

Barely shows the finished product because it's a typical jagg fuckup

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Fatty is so mad

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Fatty is so mad

View attachment 7466771

What does he care about the Switch 2? He only has one working hand.

 

[Super Hans v2]

What does he care about the Switch 2? He only has one working hand.

Why does Jack care about fast food when it's not carnivore? Why does Jack care about politics, when's a welfare queen? Why does Jack care about anything, when he does nothing?

All these questions have the same answer; Jack just likes to bitch.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack is still not taking the breakup well








He's also pretty miserable



He got mad at someone replying to one of his many "GODZILLA VS KONG" posts and general politisperging




His morning routine



FOOOD

 

[Marc]

Jesus. The only way Jack's morning routine could be less productive is if it was real. What's the point of lying about reading the bye-bull or feeding Hope a HARBOYL ACHE?

"Go through day in my mind" is the most puzzling one: Jack can't walk from the bed to the toilet, use the toilet, flush the toilet, walk from the toilet to his accident blanket-draped zone of the stink sofa, put Nick Jr. on the television, get out of the sofa, put electrolytes in his water or even pour a glass of water, make a venti Torani syrup with a dash of coffee, unnecessarily pressure-cook eggs, pet the dog without falling over or experiencing pins and needles in his urethra, eat a hard-boiled egg without aspirating, prevent Hope from chewing his diaper open while he chokes on fragments of hard-boiled eggs, or uncapitalize the word "Scripting" without Tammy basically doing every one of those things for him out of pity. Are we supposed to believe that Jack's visualization of how his day is going to go invokes more detail than the safe bet of eating and seething, then seething and eating?

There are at least thirty intermediate steps missing from Jack's morning routine that all involve growling at his wife to do all of those things for him - The only kernel of truth in what he listed is that there was no step in which he put clothes on. For there to be any plausible degree of self-sufficiency in navigating between each of those tasks, he would have to be omitting the small detail of rolling between each of the rooms like Thud Butt from Hook:

 

[a terminal posture]

I was eagerly awaiting another Jack's own recipe after the MEAT CHILI debacle, and this did not disappoint. As I stated in a previous poast, the way to make this is to make the elote sauce, roast the chicken, then toss the chicken in the elote sauce (I have made this dish and its delicious). Jack makes a rub out of.... lemon pepper(?), chili flakes and cumin and tops it with parmesan (I am ok with subbing that for mexican cheese, you cook with what you have). Jack is shocked that the low-moisture parmesan browned and that fat-soluble capsicum diffused into it. Jack said bake at 375 (too low) until the internal temp of 165 deg. is reached, like anyone is going to stick a probe into a.. chicken wing. The parmesan cooked before the wings did (predictable) and he pulled them out early. Based on the end bones they are very underdone. How do you even undercook a wing, unlike breasts they can take some heat abuse? That's almost two DECADES of culinary experience, folks. Still salmonella bombing in 2025! Great job!

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

lemon pepper(?)

A spice blend of lemon zest and pepper. It's incredibly popular in Atlanta to use on wings. Granted, the large black population ensures that Jack will never go there.

 

[Gulls on Film]

"Go through day in my mind" is the most puzzling one:

It's pretty simple really. First, you visualize the MEATS. Then you yell at TAMMY to cook the MEATS. And finally, you EAT THE MEATS and gurgle that it was GUD.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack is spending his day sad and angry





Again he bitches about AI while he regularly used it like a toy and shortcut for his videos

 

[the khat quaffer]

A spice blend of lemon zest and pepper. It's incredibly popular in Atlanta to use on wings. Granted, the large black population ensures that Jack will never go there.

Given his fear of anything darker than a light bulb, I'm impressed he decided to cook something Mexican. I'm disappointed he managed to gringo-fy it. Disappointed, not surprised. This guy could fuck up a cup of coffee.

Yay! Mayonaise slopped wings that taste just like mayonnaise corn!

Jack starts off reading youtoob comments.


CU POISON AYG JAR!

CU Homer buckets and curtain room divider!

Barely shows the finished product because it's a typical jagg fuckup

6:18 "I didn't get any red pepper flakes on me" Tammy must have fed him. (Why would you, an adult, brag about not getting any food on you? Bibs are for children for a reason.)

Fun drinking game: watch the video at 0.6x speed.

Also...that youtube icon. That fucking icon. That goddamn fucking icon. How much longer is he gonna keep using that shit-kicking AI slop of an icon.



That flaccid, gormless soy-grin, masking a vapid dome, unburdened by any intellectual thoughts or machinations. How can he look at this and think "yep, this is the business card I want to show to the world ". He MUST have some kinda facial recognition problem because anyone with eyes would assume he's special needs. The potatoes they wheel in front of the camera for mental health fundraisers look less retarded.

Edit: minor corrections

 

[AnOminous]

Barely shows the finished product because it's a typical jagg fuckup

How do you even fuck wings up? Air fryer to 400, dry them, shake them in a bag with baking powder, smoked paprika, and whatever other spices you like (I just add some dried ground scorpion pepper powder), spray with tallow, 20-22 minutes, flip it in the middle, done.

He probably ripped off one of the many recipes for this then botched it, since the other recipes have pictures that look like something edible. And of course he used the shitty, worthless shreddy cheese with literal sawdust in it.

Fatty is so mad

What a consoomer. Soy gaping cocksucking piece of fat shit. Why does a manbabby his age even give a shit about the Switch?

Again he bitches about AI while he regularly used it like a toy and shortcut for his videos

This is why your life is already over, carnivore child. Enjoy Roko's Basilisk.

 

[Marc]

He probably ripped off one of the many recipes for this then botched it

That's his entire formula; and the reason he's never learned anything about cooking for as long as he's been pretending to know how to do it. Even before he started stroking into oblivion, Jack was pathologically incapable of regarding his own mistakes as examples of what not to do. That missing piece necessary for a learning curve is a common lolcow trait, and the reason Jack has managed to retain that quality through years of recreational brain damage is because his whole personality is the consequence of that humility never having been there in the first place.

Why does a manbabby his age even give a shit about the Switch?

The shithead pretends to give a shit about what other shitheads are shitting over; in the hope of fooling those shitheads into thinking they're in likeminded company. It's the only way Jack knows how to make friends; which is why he has never had a friend. It all ties back to how Jack reaches out only in search of attention, rather than with giving. His head might be in a fucking fish bowl after the next stroke, and he'll be yelling at his phone to post a tweet where he shits specifically on Americans whose heads are in fish bowls; calling them WOKE.

 

[the khat quaffer]

His head might be in a fucking fish bowl after the next stroke, and he'll be yelling at his phone to post a tweet where he shits specifically on Americans whose heads are in fish bowls; calling them WOKE.

Are you implying that he is going to gain superpowers and become a fat retarded politisperg version of Mysterio?

 

[souschef]

Yay! Mayonaise slopped wings that taste just like mayonnaise corn!

Jack starts off reading youtoob comments.


CU POISON AYG JAR!

CU Homer buckets and curtain room divider!

Barely shows the finished product because it's a typical jagg fuckup

Did not use the lime egg for the breading

0/10 would not eat it

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Jack is spending his day sad and angry

View attachment 7469367

"It's satire."
"WOW you literally want Jesus to be a woman, woke DEI has gone too far OBJ OBJ"

 

[Slavic Patronym]

"It's satire."
"WOW you literally want Jesus to be a woman, woke DEI has gone too far OBJ OBJ"

Re: the new JCS movie: In the livestream with Cousin Jimmy yesterday, Jack and Jimmy short-circuited (though they tried to play it off) when they realized they already like movies where God isn't played by a white man.

• Jimmy likes Dogma, where God is played by Alanis Morissette (a woman)
• Jack likes Bruce Almighty, where God is played by Morgan Freeman (a black person)

Wish I had saved the timestamp. It was remarkable to see them crash into the wall of cognitive dissonance live on air. There was this deafening silence as they realized they had to either (a) update their argument to be "pick one thing I don't like, not two" [which they DO feel but are iffy on admitting out loud] or (b) look like stupid whining hypocrites.

But since they're intellectually dishonest, they did neither. They just kept on bitching, their raison d'être. Also at one point Jimmy called religious satire "blasphemy."

 

[The Grimace]

I'd say he needs to cut that knockoff Indy fedora wearing shit out, at least indoors and during warm weather. It might as well desperately scream "HEY I'M BALD AND WANT TO SEEM INTERESTING."

Makes me think of Cole Smithey, fittingly.