Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Nupid Sigger]

From what I gather, there are several lawyers invested in this effort. Top men. TOP MEN.

Yes.. top.. men..

 

[FuhrerMustang]

Oh. I thought it was some sort of abstract goatse this entire time.

I mean, he definitely will because that's what he does, but all he needs to do is call it boring as shit and move on.

"It was late, fake and gay. " Best and truthful response from Rackets.

 

[Vibralldo]

Oh. I thought it was some sort of abstract goatse this entire time.

It's both

Originally it was vertical but something recommended turning it horizontal to resemble goatse

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

The infighting isn't that bad and the stream was shit.

Sure, but the constant meta-posting about a non-event that has already been beaten to death over the course of 60 pages is tiresome — especially when there are far more interesting topics to discuss.

 

[DiabeticSydePhil]

He is incredibly strung out, it's surreal to watch.

He spent five hours last night doing whippets to a nonsense stream that didnt even allege the things he broadcast he should be accused of, while ranting in chat as the losers ignored him and the chat dunked on him.

Then he failed to sober up and went to get his kids (I dont know if Kayla driving would be less dire).

Then he got home, saw the bodycam lawsuit got filed and probably did more drugs, before starting a stream about a trial where the interesting trial stuff today is already done and he missed what should have been easy money.

Dude isnt evening crashing out anymore. He's actively getting Tell-Tale Hearted live and in real time.

 

[Captain Manning]

Nick's live and just said that he would not be addressing the events of last night.
View attachment 7498476

Okay.

So we can count on you to keep watching for when he inevitably backtracks on that decision in like 30 minutes or so, right? Lol.

 

[Sneed Force One]

Nick's live and just said that he would not be addressing the events of last night.

I'll give it 30-45 minutes before a dedicated segment

 

[PrestonHolt]

Okay.

So we can count on you to keep watching for when he inevitably backtracks on that decision in like 30 minutes or so, right? Lol.

do you really think it will take Nick this long to do nitrous?


I was thinking, if nick were to get into creator clash, as a ragetwig he is, who from the sektur/adjacent would be a fair match for him?

 

[Vibralldo]

He is incredibly strung out, it's surreal to watch.

Nigga's eyes so squinty he looks Chinese


Maybe making the stream a 5 hour nothing burger that ended at 1 am Nick's time had some benefits

He probably was tense throughout the whole thing waiting for the big drop and then got pissed once it was revealed there was nothing and it wasted his time and was too mad to sleep

 

[Captain Manning]

do you really think it will take Nick this long to do nitrous?

I am being conservative. I know he's pretending to do lawyer shit, and he hates it, so I would put absolutely zero stock in him holding to his decision not to talk about any of what happened last night.

Also, since I'm Nostradamus, I want you all to know he'll end the stream with a Kurt cooking video. You heard it here first!

 

[Vibralldo]

I am being conservative. I know he's pretending to do lawyer shit, and he hates it, so I would put absolutely zero stock in him holding to his decision not to talk about any of what happened last night.

Also, since I'm Nostradamus, I want you all to know he'll end the stream with a Kurt cooking video. You heard it here first!

Optimistic he can wait that long to play it

 

[PhoBingas]

I had testicular torsion before so looking at this caused me genuine physical pain.

Until Rackets started talking about them, I figured they were just some old MADTV sketch that never made it to air. I was shocked to find out the they're an actual real thing... And people say sex and porn addiction isn't a thing.
Stuffing your balls into something so you can keep chasing a coom is textbook junkie behavior.
The Balldo to child drugging pipeline needs to be studied.

 

[Neetness]

Nick's live and just said that he would not be addressing the events of last night.
View attachment 7498476

He loves Aaron so much that he's even copying his male pattern baldness.

 

[SigmaBalls]

He loves Aaron so much that he's even copying his male pattern baldness.

Nick was visited by the norwood reaper one night and said
"Give me the aaron cut"

 

[River possum]

I don't know how to feel about this, Kiwisisters. But it's looking to me like June is going to be a FLAWLESS VICTORY MONTH for Nick Rekieta. Let's tally up how things are going for him this month:

• Kandiyohi County court status: CUCKED and DISGRACED by Nick Rekieta every stream WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES
• Probation rules: IGNORED WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES
• Cocaine status: ENTIRELY SNORTED
• Galaxy Gas status: COMPLETELY HUFFED
• Church Community status: DISGRACED by PRUDE revelations
• Montagraph status: DEFAMED WITHOUT (serious) CONSEQUENCES, legal fund still missing over 80% of its goal.
• Aaron status: SILENCED and BANKRUPTED after losing his revenge porn case and being forced to fork over an entire KNU
• Body Cam Footage publication status: DENIED and BALLDOWASHED POST HASTE
• Keanu status: GOODWILL LOST after hosting the SNOOZEFEST NOTHINGBURGER STREAM with Gabe Hoffman
• Israel status: DIPLOMATIC CRISIS after Gabe Hoffman's role hyping what turned out to be the SNOOZEFEST NOTHINGBURGER STREAM with Keanu
• Kiwi Farms status: BLUEBALLED by SNOOZEFEST NOTHINGBURGER STREAM, DISGRACED as a BUNCH OF FUCKING NERDS
• Joshua Moon status: MISSING, EXPOSED AS A BRONY BY OUR NEW LORD CARDPOSTING
• Disagreeable side hoe April status: DISCARDED WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES
• Disagreeable Wife status: BATTERED and MONETIZED
• Disagreeable Son status: CHOKESLAMMED ONTO A FUCKING WALL

Am I missing anything here?

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like:
View attachment 7497352

But at the end of the day he is still Nicholas Robert rekieta, the balldo man. And if I were him, I would also huff so much nitrous that the brain damage would make me forget what a failure I was straight out of the womb and the disgust I harbor for my parents that made me this way.

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

I'm not gonna make a long complaining post about infighting in this thread. I will just say that for all the complaining about Gabe and Keanu not delivering content, there were almost 100 PAGES posted in this thread complaining about no content, ie 100 pages of fucking nothing. I didn't watch the Keanu stream, because I have better things to do than watch her. I also knew that the content would not be as good as Nick admitting that he choke-slams his son in the chiropractor's office. However, I wasn't going to be glued to this thread making useless posts complaining about it.

I also see no one clipped any part of the stream, not even the part about the Kayla shower incident, so I did the work myself and clipped it, just so my post would actually contain some content and not be fucking useless spam like the last 50 pages of nothing.

View attachment 7498183

I did not watch the stream or read the thread because I expected it to be another attention seeking nothingburger.

I am disappointed that it proved to be that way, but why should anyone expect different from Keanu and Gabe who both accidentally stumbled into a W once upon a time?

Nick still remains the same degenerate retard who needs to drive his car into a tree, but Gabe behaved like a mentally retarded Twitter alog and not like a "journalist" at all.

[EDIT] I take that back about Gabe not behaving like a journalist, he behaved EXACTLY like any random journalist does in 2025. He made the shit up and his sources were crackpipes.

 

[Fapcop]

But at the end of the day he is still Nicholas Robert rekieta, the balldo man. And if I were him, I would also huff so much nitrous that the brain damage would make me forget what a failure I was straight out of the womb and the disgust I harbor for my parents that made me this way.

Balldo man, lmao!

Let’s make a pact fellow Kiwis.

If we ever run into Rekieta in public, we’re going to stop him and say: “Hey you look familiar?!”

And right as he’s about to launch into a cocky “Yeah. You might have seen me during the Depp trial!” We say: “YOURE THE BALLDO MAN!” And watch all the light disappear from his eyes.

 

[Oxyjen]

Owning government institutions from a literal traveling van.

He lives in a van? Down by the river?

Why does Hardin say he is a domiciliary of Florida here but lists his home address as Texas in the Russell Greee filings?

He lives in a van down by the river.

 

[Truly Rural]

Nick I have no empathy for this and that, him and her. Sorry Nick, that's not how empathy works. You either have it or don't. You don't pick and choose toward who you have or don't have it. That's sympathy. Empathy is involuntary and beyond reason and/or value judgement, sympathy is discerning, it's cognitive and involves value judgement.

 

[Super Hot Dog]

If we ever run into Rekieta in public, we’re going to stop him and say: “Hey you look familiar?!”

If you ever run into Rekieta in public you should chokeslam him through the nearest coffee table to rightfully stake your claim as champion of the Sektur. His reign must come to an end!