I did not do anal or bdsm. And i did not do any fetishes with her.
You cannot mistake how I was with my ex with how I tried to be with Tamar. I was an extremely different person when I was with my ex.
Tamar and I talked about it because in the bible, her hero she named herself after is named Tamar, who did rape by deception to sleep with her father in law. According to Melinda, Tamar was a righteous woman for doing that and tricking her father in law into thinking she was a random prostitute. So she named herself Tamar because she was inspired by Tamar's story of rape by deception to get what was owed to her through deception and be blameless. That's Tamar's view of it. To me, I think the rape by deception part of the bible story was not wrong, but that sleeping with her father in law was wrong.