Crime Nacho nightmare: Woman allegedly shoves cheesy nachos down wife's pants during assault - An affidavit continues to state that after the victim left to change clothes, the report claims the woman pulled her wife to the floor by her hair, forced her fingers into the sides of her mouth, and slammed her head into the floor multiple times.

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Allyson Swan, 39, has been accused of shoving cheesy nachos down her wife's pants and assaulting her during a late-night argument. (SLCSO)

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (CBS12) — A late-night snack turned violent in Port St. Lucie, as a woman allegedly shoved cheesy nachos down her wife's pants and assaulted her.

The Port St. Lucie Police Department (PSLPD) said that on May 3, officers responded to a home on Southeast Buttonwood Drive regarding a domestic disturbance.

According to the police report, the incident began when a woman, who was on the phone with a friend, heard her wife physically assaulting her.

Upon arrival, officers reported contacting Allyson Swan, the suspect, who insisted that everything was fine and claimed her wife was in a "drunken rage."

Officers spoke with the victim, who shared that while she was preparing nachos in the kitchen, Swan, 39, made comments about her eating late and her weight.

This led to a heated argument, during which Swan allegedly grabbed a handful of nachos and shoved them down her wife's pants.

The affidavit continues to state that after the victim left to change clothes, the report claims Swan pulled her wife to the floor by her hair, forced her fingers into the sides of her mouth, and slammed her head into the floor multiple times.

Police noted that the victim had nacho cheese on her pants and showed officers a hole in the wall that resulted from the altercation.

The report states that in a later conversation with officers, Swan denied the allegations, asserting that her wife had thrown the plate of nachos and rolled in them.

Swan has been charged with battery causing bodily harm.

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They call that one the cheesy tuna melt

I half expected this to be a troon and i'm a bit surprised it wasn't. Or at least a pooner with lil dood rage. Bitch looks like debbie grund from king of the hill on meth. Explains the nachos as well

The question is, after she dumped the nachos in her pants did the psycho dyke start doing this:
 
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