Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

Gentleman's Jack is a scam in a bottle. You're better off buying ol' nº 7. Unsurprising acquisition by jack

We all know it could have been a fifth of fermented dog shit and Fatso would buy it in a second if he saw his name on the label.

 

[souschef]

We all know it could have been a fifth of fermented dog shit and Fatso would buy it in a second if he saw his name on the label.

Like people said, his usage of alcohol is weird. Tossing beer in a chilli won't do any good. Flaming with alcohol requires just a little bit of it, no more than a modest splash. The way he does also does not allow reduction or alcohol evaporation, so his food besides tasting bad, will taste boozy too. Even if you were to use booze to flamb food, jack daniels is such a weird choice. Any mid tier cognac or other kind of brandy would be easier to pair

 

[AnOminous]

Like people said, his usage of alcohol is weird. Tossing beer in a chilli won't do any good.

I disagree on that. I think a nice stout brings a lot to a chili. Also everything Jack does is weird.

I am pretty sure he is lying about not drinking. I don't think he's a serious alcoholic or he'd have appeared intoxicated at least once, but he's enough of a drinker to be a hypocrite.

Even if you were to use booze to flamb food, jack daniels is such a weird choice. Any mid tier cognac or other kind of brandy would be easier to pair

Pretty sure he ripped off the idea from TGIF.

 

[souschef]

I disagree on that. I think a nice stout brings a lot to a chili. Also everything Jack does is weird.

Stout could work but not my thing. The problem is that he used a IPA of all choices he could have

Pretty sure he ripped off the idea from TGIF.

Alcohol's great in some dishes if you know the basics of the liquor you're using. Rum with crepes, cachaça with hot sausages, cognac with fruit based sweets. Jack has no taste buds, that's gotta be the explanation for his frequent lack of cohesion (asides the strokes and regular retardation)

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Gentleman's Jack is a scam in a bottle. You're better off buying ol' nº 7. Unsurprising acquisition by jack

He only bought it because it had his name on it. He has no taste in alcohol otherwise.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Someone should ask fatty what DEI is

He'd probably think it was something at Denny's. Or "do it yourself"

 

[Adamska]

>Goes to movie theater
>Immediately spergs about Elon once he leaves

View attachment 7605612

Movie must've not been good or Jack is just too angy at Elon

EDIT: HOLY SHIT HE IS MALDING ABOUT IT OR KEPT SENDING THE SAME TWEET BY ACCIDENT

View attachment 7605625

You can easily make a third party and if you bothered to know shit, you could actually atribute Perot's run as a factor in why Clinton won. Hell, the Libertarians came damn close to getting improved funding before Gary Johnson fucking fumbled it and they got absorbed by the Mises Caucus band of idiots.

But what should I expect from a fat hateful retard who screeches at the Superman movie because James Gunn dunked on his favorite anti-family company Didney. That's the actual reason he got pissy about that film is my best guess.

Reminder this idiot shills the Stitch remake which breaks up the family so the older sister can fuck off to California.

Even if you were to use booze to flamb food, jack daniels is such a weird choice. Any mid tier cognac or other kind of brandy would be easier to pair

You don't understand; he buys Jack Daniels because it has the name Jack in it. No I am not shitting you; he has that serious a case of delusion of reference. Like a fucking toddler.

It's also why he buys pepperjack cheese so much.

And he refuses to cook it down for the same reason he refuses to barbecue fat side down and do smash burgers; fears of losing calories.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

You can easily make a third party and if you bothered to know shit, you could actually atribute Perot's run as a factor in why Clinton won. Hell, the Libertarians came damn close to getting improved funding before Gary Johnson fucking fumbled it and they got absorbed by the Mises Caucus band of idiots.

But what should I expect from a fat hateful retard who screeches at the Superman movie because James Gunn dunked on his favorite anti-family company Didney. That's the actual reason he got pissy about that film is my best guess.

Reminder this idiot shills the Stitch remake which breaks up the family so the older sister can fuck off to California.

You don't understand; he buys Jack Daniels because it has the name Jack in it. No I am not shitting you; he has that serious a case of delusion of reference. Like a fucking toddler.

It's also why he buys pepperjack cheese so much.

And he refuses to cook it down for the same reason he refuses to barbecue fat side down and do smash burgers; fears of losing calories.

All of this makes Jack look like a raging lunatic. He's somehow frozen in time, yet able to go through time as well.

 

[Sneedmiser]

Can we get a new Jack death pool poll? Just watching the whiskey water burger from 2 years ago made me realize just how quickly he's completely fucked himself. Either his lungs are full of liquid constantly because he can't actually cough or his airways are partially collapsed but he sounds worse than my grandfather did with COPD so bad he couldn't even go up a fight of stairs.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

That's an interesting theory, but I've seen him pour ungodly amounts of alcohol into recipes. I'm pretty sure no recipe actually calls for the amounts he's poured in on camera. And I think he only does that because he believes cooking with expensive alcohol makes you fancy and a 'real' chef, and he never measures anything. So, I think he just used that amount in the burgers glaze, rather than having drank it. He even poured a huge amount of wine into a chili, once, I'm pretty sure. Did the same with a whole bottle of beer into another chili. He mixed beer and wine in another recipe. All sounds repulsive to eat.

I wonder if he might get a buzz, actually, when he cooks that poorly with such large amounts of alcohol, especially hard liquor. Also, if he had actually 'gotten sober,' I don't think he'd be okay with buying giant bottle of hard liquor and cooking with it, and other alcohols on a regular basis. Any former alcoholic would be uncomfortable with that, I think.

Fatty is totally a secret drinker but plays it up like he hates the stuff because Hammy is anti-alcohol.

Let's look at the facts.

• He NEVER uses the same bottle when making stuff it's always new meaning he drinks some when Hammy isn't looking.
• When he and Jr did that beer video he sucked back half that bottle and would have finished it if he could.
• When they met Hammy's lesbian lover at the brewery for dinner he got pissy because he needs to play up the fact he doesn't drink so why are they doing this at a brewery. Had Hammy not been there he would have had a beer or two.

Fatty drinks but when Hammy isn't around.

Someone should ask fatty what DEI is

Like he has any idea.

Gentleman's Jack is a scam in a bottle. You're better off buying ol' nº 7. Unsurprising acquisition by jack

He bought it because "Jack" is in the name. But it's a "beginner's" whiskey because it's sweet and easy to drink. It's perfectly fine for what it is and a step above things like Fireball but not by much.

 

[Flonominal88]

Can we get a new Jack death pool poll? Just watching the whiskey water burger from 2 years ago made me realize just how quickly he's completely fucked himself. Either his lungs are full of liquid constantly because he can't actually cough or his airways are partially collapsed but he sounds worse than my grandfather did with COPD so bad he couldn't even go up a fight of stairs.

Didn’t the last stroke paralyze his vocal cords?

 

[Marc]

Didn’t the last stroke paralyze his vocal cords?

It's not just neurological issues with his laryngeal folds: His throat muscles are paralyzed. His compulsion to constantly eat and drink - despite having dysphagia - means that foreign matter and saliva are constantly running down his trachea and into his lungs; and this results in chronic aspiration pneumonia he can't hack up; because he ate himself into losing the ability to have a productive cough. Jack would rather drown a little more each day than adapt his diet to one which wouldn't result in a portion of every meal adding to the debris field fueling his never-ending respiratory infections.

The Shockmaster quality of Jack's voice is a consequence of refusing to ever shut the fuck up: The reason he sounds like a zombie is because he brute-forces through his disability by barking with his throat muscles, instead of his vocal cords (Steve-O also does this, and Volodymyr Zelenskyy attempts and fails to do this). Jack does this for the same reason he sits on his ass all day and makes Tammy do everything for him: He refuses to burn even a calorie's worth of effort toward physical rehabilitation or recovery.

I'm not sure there's a single thing Jack does in his daily routine which isn't in direct opposition to doctors' orders, aside from managing to remain alive.

 

[Tiresome]

chronic aspiration pneumonia

Imagine if Jack finally goes by drowning in his own vomit while sleeping after a few surreptitious nips of something with "Jack" on the label. It might be the only thing that could banish the wendigo, choke the host on its own gorge. Done in by SECRET BOOZ and GUD MEETZ.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack going schizo for no reason



Does Jack think the 4th of July is celebrating the entire concept of Independence (of course when he isn't thinking about meats)

 

[Marc]

Of course Jack - who has been utterly dependent upon Tammy since the 1990s - not only thinks independence is synonymous with protest, but also doesn't get that the country owned by China and enslaved to Israel celebrates the anniversary of its independence from the British. The fat, evil fuck is anti-First Amendment unless he's protesting being shorted beef by Chipotle or claiming no one's been to the moon. If only there was a tree of liberty to water by throwing Jack onto its roots from a helicopter.

My personal opinion is that Jack's schizo/doomposting is an example of the phenomenon I refer to as "raging against the dying light." It's when people - sensing the end is near - go all in on demanding the apocalypse arrive, for a revolution or WWIII itself to occur, for UFOs to touch down, for Sasquatch to stroll out of the woods to personally declare them King of Burgers, etc.

Historically, it takes the form of those unprepared to confront their mortality suffering an existential crisis which they then sublimate into some ego trip fantasy wherein they get to take the world out with them (ironically hanging their hopes upon it). In the modern era, baby boomers who live in a perpetual state of resentment-fueled anxiety and dread in response to increasing constraints (generally as a consequence of poor life decisions they are now living out the consequences of) are pushed by competing industries toward incorporating any of the above doomsday scenarios into one of the two available sides of a doomscroll-fueled TDS or TES dichotomy. Curiously enough, they seem fall for this prescribed, America-centric fatalism, even when they're not American.

In Jack's case, his head is such mush that he wants to live long enough to see his own top banana assassinated, just so he can go "I told you so" on Twitter. That's such a specifically short-sighted bucket list request that, clearly, the human tub of Bacon Up has a void inside himself which he attributes to never having gotten the updoots or validation he felt Twitter owed him - Kind of like how our aspiring polyglot Alex put fitting in here on a pedestal. Fortunately, Jack is going to die surrounded by reminders that the world will not only get along fine without him - It will be better for absence of the burden and general imposition he consciously inflicts upon others. Progress is made one Jack funeral at a time.

 

[Windows XP Home Edition]

I can't speak for everyone else who has worked in hospitality before but I'm so glad that more businesses and establishments are copping on and throwing the long abused phrase "the customer is always right" out of the window which has been used to justify mistreatment of their employees for far too long. HR and upper management in food store chains, even the more pretentious high end places that make and sell overpriced salads are infamous for brown-nosing entitled customers and catering to their every whim, no matter how abusive and disrespectful they are towards staff. I really feel for the employees who have to endure obnoxious ignoramuses like Jack Scalfani and Lily Contino who moan nonstop about petty things that the minimum wage staff have no say in like portion sizes or prices and purposefully making some underpaid, overworked team member's shift more difficult than it already is. Hospitality and retail already have a very high turnover rate partially because employees eventually get fed up of receiving no support from their employer when dealing with difficult customers. It's gotten so bad that some shops have had to put up signs warning customers that the premises won't tolerate physical and verbal abuse of their staff. Rude and poorly behaved patrons not only destroy worker morale and performance, they also scare away potential customers, frustrate loyal ones and cause businesses to lose money.

 

[densedance]

 

[Falcon Sebben]

View attachment 7608905

A whole seven videos and three live streams? I'm amazed that Fatty has any free time at all.

Here's the thing. Unless the thing you're wasting your time with is making you a lot of money it's a hobby at best. This is just Fatty larping as an important person. I'd love to see him try to have a full time job where he actually needs to produce something.

 

[cleanerfromvenus]

7 videos a week, 3 livestreams and at least one stroke a year

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

7 videos a week, 3 livestreams and at least one stroke a year

We need to up that stroke number, although fatty is sure trying with his carnivore larp