Plagued Soyjak.Party / The Sharty - The altchan born from the ashes of /qa/; also a containment thread

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How am I looking shiwis?
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✨🧀 OFFICIAL CHEDDAR SUPREMACY MANIFESTO 🧀✨
🇺🇸🔥 Why Cheddar is the KING of Cheese & Euro "Cheese" is WEAK SAUCE 🇺🇸🔥
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

LIST OF FACTS PROVING CHEDDAR IS GOD-TIER: 🏆🧀🇺🇸
MURICA APPROVED 🦅 – Cheddar don’t need no fancy AOC label to flex. It’s FREEDOM in dairy form. 🗽🍔
ORANGE = STRONG 💪 – Unlike those pale, sad Euro cheeses that look like they’ve never seen the sun. ☀️🤡
MELTS LIKE A PATRIOT 🍔 – Perfect for burgers, nachos, FREEDOM FRIES. Try that with your "Brie," coward. 🧀🔥
ACTUAL FLAVOR 😋 – Sharp? Mild? EXTRA SHARP? Cheddar’s got RANGE. Euro cheese tastes like wet paper. 📜🤢
SURVIVES THE APOCALYPSE 🚀 – Aged for YEARS and still kicks harder than your "fresh" mold log. ⏳💥

LIST OF CRIMES COMMITTED BY EUROPEAN "CHEESE": 🚨🧀🇪🇺
COMMUNIST LUXURY GOODS ☭ – Oh wow, you spent $50 on a "truffle-infused" cheese wheel? REAL subtle, Marx. 💸🤡
WEAK CONSISTENCY 🥺 – Either crumbles like your economy or oozes like your resolve. Pick a struggle. 💔🧀
SMELLS LIKE REGRET 🤢 – "Oh, it’s supposed to smell like feet!" No. It’s supposed to be FOOD. 👃🚫
ELITIST NONSENSE 🎩 – "This cheese pairs best with a 1947 Bordeaux–" SHUT. IT’S MILK JUICE. 🍷🤮
CAN’T EVEN GRILL 🧀🔥 – Throw Camembert on a BBQ and watch it weep. CHEDDAR THRIVES IN FLAME. 🔥🇺🇸

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🇺🇸 REAL AMERICANS EAT CHEDDAR OR THEY EAT NOTHING. 🇺🇸 🍔🧀🔥
🚨 WARNING: Obsessing over "artisanal" Euro cheese is a RED FLAG 🚨🤡
Next time you reach for that "Gouda," ask yourself: 🤔🧀
”DO I WANT TO EAT CHEESE… OR DO I WANT TO SURRENDER TO SOCIALISM?” 🚫
🍔🔥 CHEDDAR IS THE PEOPLE’S CHEESE. THE ONLY CHEESE. 🔥🍔 🇺🇸🧀

☠️ (This post sponsored by the Council of Cheese Patriots & the Ghost of Ronald Reagan) ☠️ 🧀👻🇺🇸

BONUS FACT: 🏆
The moon is made of CHEDDAR. 🌕🧀
NASA confirmed it (they didn’t). 🚀🤫

END OF TRANSMISSION. 🎤⬇️
GO EAT SOME CHEDDAR. 🧀🍴
OR BE A COWARD. 🏳️🤡
 
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