Realistically how many Ls can Ian take before throwing himself off a bridge?
You underestimate him. Our boy isn't your average lolcow. He's not the type to end the suffering, he's the type to relish in his public humiliation for years upon years. Not only that, but he will double down on every humiliation, and eagerly line back up for another serving of it.
He gets teased because his girlfriend is an e-whore. What does he do? Does he log off? Does he dump the bitch? Maybe a lesser lolcow would, but not Ian. No, he uploads a video of himself seething at the haters, rebrands himself as a turbolefty cuckold, marries the whore, and takes her last name.
He loses $250k on his retarded e-whore themed boxing event. Does he quit while he's ahead? Does he join someone else's boxing event instead? No, he books the exact same arena with even less notable fighters, does even less promotion, and publishes a hit piece on the event's biggest supporter 2 months before the set date.
The ending of said hit piece is ruined because the special guest doesn't buy what he's selling, and refuses to join in on the dogpile. Does he scrap that ending? Does he argue his case harder? No, he breaks down into literal tears on camera, asks his collaborators to say something nice about the target, and publishes it.
The aforementioned hit piece blows up in his face, turns what's left of his fans against him, and turns the Internet at large against him. Does he take down the video and say "that was a mistake, I'm very sorry"? Does he move on to a different video topic? No, he doubles down on the lies, makes another video which makes him look even worse, does a PR tour with a handful of breadtubers who mock him to his face, watches all of his former defenders turn on him and air all of the dirty laundry he's been hiding, and
throws away his earthly possessions to move in with his mommy-in-law in a different country.
Ian won't kill himself. Perhaps a sensible man would in his shoes. Perhaps a man with dignity would. But Ian is a glutton for punishment, and he will continue self-immolating for our amusement. That's why he deserves YOUR vote for Lolcow of the Year 2025.
