Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[MirnaMinkoff]

They then rented a storage pod, crammed it in Oakland with whatever personal goods they had had in the shack; rented another pod in Lansing, crammed it; and dream of the day they can have all their pods delivered to their very own forest fermentation shack.

I think everyone was aghast they decided to have a baby right as all the substack bucks funding the NYC lifestyle disappeared. The sheer impracticality of the situation was mind boggling. (4th floor walk up to a two bedroom with three adults now add a baby!)

At least Joe’s now actually living in commuting distance to his job but unfortunately his job is in an area nearly as expensive as Brooklyn for housing.

They seemed to believe the roommate style of existence you can do in your 20’s could be applied to living in your 40’s with a baby? Just all incredibly stupid and impractical.

Maybe the last year with Rocco has been a wake-up call. Living in the shack had to shift some priorities. It would be nice if Rocco’s formative years aren’t itinerant thanks to BPD dad. Joe cannot be stable or practical so the women folk will be the only way Rocco might get some stability in the future. But as far as I can tell Lilly and Mallory were in a retard tug of war for Joe, so I don’t see them joining forces to put Rocco’s needs above Joe’s. In fact I get the vibe Mallory might just cut her losses with the throuple this year.

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

Maybe the last year with Rocco has been a wake-up call. Living in the shack had to shift some priorities. It would be nice if Rocco’s formative years aren’t itinerant thanks to BPD dad. Joe cannot be stable or practical so the women folk will be the only way Rocco might get some stability in the future. But as far as I can tell Lilly and Mallory were in a retard tug of war for Joe, so I don’t see them joining forces to put Rocco’s needs above Joe’s. In fact I get the vibe Mallory might just cut her losses with the throuple this year.

Plenty of people (including you, I believe) have pointed out that the rubber is going to really hit the road when Rocco starts preschool. People from outside the throuple are going to start peering in. Friends, playdates, school activities, and mom-friends are going to become a factor in the daily schedule. Decisions will have to be made, for once.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Plenty of people (including you, I believe) have pointed out that the rubber is going to really hit the road when Rocco starts preschool. People from outside the throuple are going to start peering in. Friends, playdates, school activities, and mom-friends are going to become a factor in the daily schedule. Decisions will have to be made, for once.

One would like to think so. But among the "smart" lefty classes of Berkeley et al, will anyone really do any more than just quietly gossip about these freaks? Sure the hip moms wouldn't want this arrangement in their own homes, but they know better than to disapprove of a tran, let alone multiple trans, surely.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

One would like to think so. But among the "smart" lefty classes of Berkeley et al, will anyone really do any more than just quietly gossip about these freaks? Sure the hip moms wouldn't want this arrangement in their own homes, but they know better than to disapprove of a tran, let alone multiple trans, surely.

Eh, Joe has in - true BPD fashion - made everyone either for or against him at Berkeley. I imagine those that are "against" actually just mostly ignore him, which is why we haven't gotten more gossip.

Plus, Joe is stereotypically meek in real life.

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

One would like to think so. But among the "smart" lefty classes of Berkeley et al, will anyone really do any more than just quietly gossip about these freaks? Sure the hip moms wouldn't want this arrangement in their own homes, but they know better than to disapprove of a tran, let alone multiple trans, surely.

I can't speak for Berkeley specifically, but in my experience even the most crunchy COEXIST bumpersticker-having upscale college town liberals tend to get real church lady when it comes to who they allow around their kids. Joe's social media is still quite gross and the Brooklyn Power Throuple article is still on the first page of search results when you search for any member of this crew.

 

[FarmVille]

I can't speak for Berkeley specifically, but in my experience even the most crunchy COEXIST bumpersticker-having upscale college town liberals tend to get real church lady when it comes to who they allow around their kids. Joe's social media is still quite gross and the Brooklyn Power Throuple article is still on the first page of search results when you search for any member of this crew.

These are people who display land acknowledgments in their $1.5 million condos. They support trans women in theory, they don’t want some homeless-looking fat tranny who publishes books with “penis” in the title anywhere near their precious IVF investments

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

These are people who display land acknowledgments in their $1.5 million condos. They support trans women in theory, they don’t want some homeless-looking fat tranny who publishes books with “penis” in the title anywhere near their precious IVF investments

when it comes to kids no one is more sexist/racist then humanities educated liberals.
I remember seeing a class of parents ruthlessly band together to expel an autistic black kid for no particular crime except being creepy. All couched in appropriate lefty terms OFC but the results were no different then if it was apartheid south africa.

The drag shows and encouraging kids into weird medical decisions is much more a STEM middle class affliction IMO. Those people are all too autistic to talk to their kids. With predictable results.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Maybe the last year with Rocco has been a wake-up call.

There is no wakeup call that can get through to them. Joe wants whatever his heart desires. Mal bends to his will while contemplating her navel and enjoying prolonged tardbaby adolescence. And Lily, in the most insane move that she could do, sold the fucking house in Michigan and is all in on Joe's whims, all she aspires is to be his muse and top woman compared to his actual spouse. The baby is a symbol, barely anything more.


The closest thing anyone is going to get to a wake up call is that Joe will one day either have another mid-life crisis and uproot everyone on a whim again, or he will mald he has no job and make his wives pay for his melancholy by forcing them to work and ignoring Rocco. The only other change would be fighting over who owns the child, and eventually Lilly forcing a choice between Mal and her. It doesn't matter who wins, Rocco is a pawn. Or, least likely but probably Joe's one day dream, obtain a new younger girlfriend for a power quradruple, and lavish all his time on her while tardbaby Mal lives in her bubble and Lilly finally snaps, forcing Joe to choose her or the new fling. If Joe stays with Lily, resentment will brew from him, if Joe leaves, it still hurts him.

This is very cynical but Lilly has shown herself to be an idiot who willingly dresses like a clown to be fucked by Joe and will sell her house to go all in on the California domain. Mal will not wake up, she has no spine and she's shown constant jerk behavior that leads her to isolate herself from everyone but Joe anyway. Joe is cluster B, no further explanation needed.

 

[3MMA]

ETA - Current Chatner: "The Wine-Dark Sea Is About the Pleasure of Outlasting Your Best Friend's Other Friend, and Is the Best Book in the Aubrey-Maturin Series" here But to hear Aubrey and Maturin talking like manly men out at sea, here. Har, maties, ye not be lumberjacks.

Oh damn, Moe is flirting. This is how Moe used to speak about Nicole Cliffe. Delightful personality strikes again.

---

ETA:

I’m curious if the throuple is taking a summer break from each other or maybe something else?

Has it been 18 (to 24) months since the baby’s birth? That fits the approximate prediction timeline for a major, post birth, throuple breakdown or shake up occurring from back when the pregnancy was announced ITT.

In fact I get the vibe Mallory might just cut her losses with the throuple this year.

She’s going heavy on her delightful passive aggressive personality. I think Mal may actually be the first to leave, though it could easily be Curly & Joe running away, too. Hard to see clearly yet exactly which delightful personality will “prevail.” If ever. The prize is a jowly HAM beast of a man, & I don’t mean Tard Baby.
ETA: added HAM

 

[uwaga! aooga!]

She’s going heavy on her delightful passive aggressive personality. I think Mal may actually be the first to leave, though it could easily be Curly & Joe running away, too.

I just hope the thread doesn't get split in two once the power throuple thrups no more!

 

[Dromedary]

a retard tug of war for Joe,

This is very funny to picture.

Mal is far and away the most successful of the three and the one with the most promising future professionally.

Hasn't she been "promising" for the past fifteen years? She's middle-aged now. Still not happening.

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

Hasn't she been "promising" for the past fifteen years? She's middle-aged now. Still not happening.

Which is why I qualified my statement with "...of the three."

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Has it been 18 (to 24) months since the baby’s birth? That fits the approximate prediction timeline for a major, post birth, throuple breakdown or shake up occurring from back when the pregnancy was announced ITT.

Rocco is about 14 months I think.

I know I was in the group that predicted the split before or around that time. I’ve seen it play out so often among immature or unprepared parents. (Even worse is if a “surprise” baby happens during that period, but then that just ensures the split when baby #2 is an infant.)

Novelty, oxytocin and energy reserves get a couple through the first months. The sleep deprivation and grind of 24/7 responsibility kick in by six months. Then the irritations start building, while pressure increases, over the next year. This is a big problem if the parental relationship isn’t stable, parents are selfish, ill prepared or immature and x2 all that if finances are unstable or stressful. Basically you have all those factors with the throuple and more.

Spoiler

Keep in mind Joe and Lilly met on Twitter and knew each other less than a year before they made a baby. It’s made me wonder if Lilly was actively searching for a sperm donor. The speed at which they went from sexting on Twitter to reproducing doesn’t make sense any other way, except maybe Joe’s NPD and psychoanalysis made him suddenly fixate on reproduction. So he was seeking a fuck buddy and a concubine.

From my observations the biggest challenge older parents usually face is that they are
set in their ways/lifestyle after 20 years living exactly the way they choose with little encumbrance aside from maintaining a job/income. I don’t think Joe or Lilly even managed pet care as adults. Lilly’s ex took the dogs when they split. But Joe and Lilly weren’t typical stable, responsible 40 something new parents. Lilly was a “lesbian” who wanted a fanfic life and was scouting for trannies on Twitter. Joe was a twice divorced, currently married troon who wanted to be a trans scholar, and a stand up comedian and a psychoanalyst and a famous author and.,. a father. Anything but his actual paid job as an English professor. His entire existence is Me Me Me Me which is a terrible choice for a “co-parent”

I think the only reason Rocco exists is Mallory fame resulting in Substack to give them a pile of money and other opportunities. It was rocket fuel for all of Joe’s worst NPD impulses and decisions. But the pile of money was mostly gone by the time Rocco arrived, he’s like the last hurrah of irresponsible decisions made while Joe was flush and manic.

Now we have Mallory earnestly posting about wanting to be a CNA and take care of people while Joe and Lilly are somewhere struggling to care for a baby neither was actually prepared for.

I honestly hope it’s not Mallory trying to make herself as useful as possible to Joe. Steady employment, caretaking expertise, minor celebrity! But Lilly can promise the house sale will get some much needed quick cash. Joe obviously favors the woman he has sex with that might have $80k soon, even if caring for a toddler is required. If only Mallory had another house to sell or a lucrative publishing deal she could enjoy the warm glow of Joe’s affection.

Spoiler

Wild card theory is Joe has discovered he has some chronic illness and this motivates Mallory’s interest in elder care. One day Joe will need her!

The absurdities of the throuple never cease to amaze me. Maybe that’s why writer Joe decided a baby was needed. After his in-depth academic study on the American sitcom decided to use one of its tropes - adding a kid was to revive the tired, fading narrative of his life. Let’s hope Rocco learns a snappy catch phrase soon.

 

[Anasa Tristis]

These are people who display land acknowledgments in their $1.5 million condos. They support trans women in theory, they don’t want some homeless-looking fat tranny who publishes books with “penis” in the title anywhere near their precious IVF investments

Exactly. Wealthy luxury believers parrot the talking points, but when it comes to their own lives (and especially their kid's) it's classic "say one thing and do another". There was a news story awhile back about how those Big Silicon Valley tech weenies don't give their kids cellphones or laptops. I'd bet they don't let their nannies au pairs take them to Pride parades or drag story hours either. Or maybe they do just once, to be able to smile and say that they did.

Changes do seem to be afoot for our beloved BPT. I assumed MaMa LaLa was the weakest link (and would be the most rational) but her recent actions indicate otherwise. And fangirls gotta fan. Surprisingly, Mal is devoting some attention towards her own future. New job aspirations, new pals, another novel in the works. If she's lost both Marquis de Sideshow's malignant attention and her heart swelling (and content mining) manny role, there's not much binding her to the BPT.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Changes do seem to be afoot for our beloved BPT. I assumed MaMa LaLa was the weakest link (and would be the most rational) but her recent actions indicate otherwise.

I’m assuming who can do the most for Joe wins….Joe.

Mallory sold her house, alienated her family, got Joe a substack advance, got Joe an apt in Brooklyn, helped promote Joe’s unsuccessful attempt at being a tranny celebrity/ “scholar” but what has she done for him lately??

Lilly has a house for sale which will might leave her with $75k in hand, so I think she wins Joe’s heart for 2025. The fact she is the mother of his child probably counts against her since he requires time and effort and uses up money Joe needs.

 

[Aunt Carol]

What's the plan after Joe's wives run out of real estate to sell? Houses don't grow on trees, and Mal, at least, can't expect an inheritance.

Maybe it's van life next.

 

[Carnavoyeur]

What's the plan after Joe's wives run out of real estate to sell? Houses don't grow on trees, and Mal, at least, can't expect an inheritance.

Maybe it's van life next.

New wife

 

[Aunt Carol]

New wife

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I'm glad Joe is safe in California, just a couple blocks from Lily's house an 11 year old was shot in a drive-by: https://www.wilx.com/2025/07/08/police-investigate-drive-by-shooting-lansing-early-tuesday/

Same neighborhood, one of the same type of streets they were on, less than half a mile away. That's the kind of diverse area they were in.

 

[Bookwork]

If you haven't been able to get Joe on the mobile, DM him for his new number.