I am cats. Ask me Nothing

[Osama Bin Laden]

When my cats want food in the morning, they jump on me like a trampoline until I feed them.

not cat but my dog will lick my face at 4am to let me know he needs to shit. i mean it’s cool that he has a bathroom timer but sometimes i don’t like waking up at 4am to walk my dog

 

[Cholesterol Gremlin]

We’re at 98 pages and the thought that @Cats won’t be around to see his thread hit 100 guts me

 

[Dr Cruel]

 

[No. 7 cat]

A cat pulling at a door handle or manipulating a semi closed door or window must really want opposable digits. Only thing keeping cats from ruling us.

 

[Dr Cruel]

Only thing keeping cats from ruling us.

Since the very beginning of human civilization along the Nile delta, cats have been treated as minor deities. They are fed, cared for and pampered and, for the most part, come and go as they please and do as they please.

Explain to me how they could possibly improve their position.

 

[alphabetnigger]

not cat but my dog will lick my face at 4am to let me know he needs to shit. i mean it’s cool that he has a bathroom timer but sometimes i don’t like waking up at 4am to walk my dog

I think this is why I prefer cats, they're pretty low maintenance compared to dogs. I grew up with dogs as a kid, and never specifically intended to get any pets as an adult but ended up with a cat because I felt bad for it, and now I'm suddenly a cat fag who watches cat videos and sends cat gifs unironically.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

A cat pulling at a door handle or manipulating a semi closed door or window must really want opposable digits. Only thing keeping cats from ruling us.

My cats know how to operate lever door knobs, which is why we had to get any replaced when my wife and I bought our house.

 

[Dr Cruel]

I think this is why I prefer cats, they're pretty low maintenance compared to dogs.

Yeah. Sure. Low maintenance.

With cats, it's never about what you prefer.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

We’re at 98 pages and the thought that @Cats won’t be around to see his thread hit 100 guts me

We must make this thread the longest in the forum...we must build a tower of Kitties until we reach heaven and can retrieve @Cats.

 

[(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Cancer ♥]

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, family, and all of you who clearly had the privilege of knowing Cats—unlike me—we gather today to honor a life that, by all accounts, was meaningful, impactful, and full of stories… none of which I was present for.

Now, I may not have had the pleasure of knowing Cats, but judging by the turnout today, they were clearly someone special. The love in this room is palpable—or maybe that’s just the scent of funeral home lilies, which, much like my knowledge of the deceased, is overpowering yet vague.

From what I’ve gathered in the last 20 minutes of awkward small talk:
- They were the kind of person who [insert vague, universally positive trait, like "lit up a room" or "always knew what to say"].
- They had a legendary [hobby/job/talent], which I’m sure was very impressive to those who understood it.
- And above all, they were deeply cherished by all of you—a fact I’m reminded of every time someone glances at me with polite confusion, wondering which part of Cat’s life I belonged to. (The answer: none. I’m just here for moral support and the potato salad.)

So while I can’t share personal anecdotes—because, again, I never met them—I can say this: If the measure of a life is the grief of those left behind, then Cats must have been extraordinary. Because all of you? You’re devastated. And that’s honestly beautiful.

May we honor their memory by continuing to [insert wholesome suggestion, like "laugh as they did" or "argue about their controversial BBQ sauce recipe"]. And may those of us who didn’t know them finally learn something about them at the reception.

Rest in peace, Cats. I’m sure you were great.

 

[Jhonson the Two]

You can try this site: https://mitmedialab.github.io/GAN-play/

here are some scrungos in honor of Cats

View attachment 7622073
View attachment 7622027View attachment 7622065View attachment 7622066

I am not 100% sure what a cat looks like I was drawing from memory

Thanks I love it

Spoiler: weird cats

Playing with the different models is cool.
I was sad about the weird eldritch AI images era being gone, this neat little site is filling my cold heart

 

[Cholesterol Gremlin]

We must make this thread the longest in the forum...we must build a tower of Kitties until we reach heaven and can retrieve @Cats.

I will do my part by telling stories of the many Cats I have known. Today I will tell you all about the time my cat woke me up to kill a bug for him:

This was a few summers ago. It was the middle of the night I was sleeping when I was woken up by loud meowing. I knew it was my cat by the sound of his meow, and he sounded distressed so it woke me right up. I turned on the light to see what was wrong and he was sitting in the middle of my room and on the floor was a big giant water roach (I lived near a river). He was looking at me with distress and I knew what I had to do.

A little known fact is that Cats are known to be apex predators and this particular cat was a feral rescue but he had become so lazy and pathetic he just yelled at the bug until I woke up and killed it for him. No hunting instincts whatsoever. What a baby

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I knew what I had to do.

Did you say "KILL IT YOU LAZY COWARD?"

cause that is what I would have done.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Anybody here kiss their cat's belly?

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

I will do my part by telling stories of the many Cats I have known. Today I will tell you all about the time my cat woke me up to kill a bug for him:

This was a few summers ago. It was the middle of the night I was sleeping when I was woken up by loud meowing. I knew it was my cat by the sound of his meow, and he sounded distressed so it woke me right up. I turned on the light to see what was wrong and he was sitting in the middle of my room and on the floor was a big giant water roach (I lived near a river). He was looking at me with distress and I knew what I had to do.

A little known fact is that Cats are known to be apex predators and this particular cat was a feral rescue but he had become so lazy and pathetic he just yelled at the bug until I woke up and killed it for him. No hunting instincts whatsoever. What a baby

Honestly, the better outcome. When they eat the bug, god knows what they could get. I'm constantly having to tell my cat not to eat bugs he catches.

 

[Dr Cruel]

A little known fact is that Cats are known to be apex predators and this particular cat was a feral rescue but he had become so lazy and pathetic he just yelled at the bug until I woke up and killed it for him. No hunting instincts whatsoever. What a baby

Yes, of course. Must have been cat fear.

Which one is the pet. Think about it.

Did you say "KILL IT YOU LAZY COWARD?"

cause that is what I would have done.

And then you wonder why a cat would drop a live mouse on your face while you sleep. At 3am.

 

[Cholesterol Gremlin]

Honestly, the better outcome. When they eat the bug, god knows what they could get. I'm constantly having to tell my cat not to eat bugs he catches.

This is very true, I never thought about it that way. He was being a good cat actually and I made fun of him

Did you say "KILL IT YOU LAZY COWARD?"

cause that is what I would have done.

No I killed it because I was his biggest enabler but I made fun of him a lot afterwards and still do

 

[souschef]

 

[Jesus Swept]

My cats know how to operate lever door knobs, which is why we had to get any replaced when my wife and I bought our house.

I was in a house that had sliding doors with a little metal hook and a latch at the bottom to lock it. My cat could stick his arm under the door, unhook the latch, then pull the sliding door open with his little cat feet. He had 2 brain cells but he could open a door.

 

[souschef]