Off-Topic Deathfat Encounters IRL - This thread is not your personal army.

[RunRufusRun]

Worked the side job again last weekend. Had a van full of 6 of us. Get there and learn Dickie Doo had shown up hours early left his gear on a table and then hit the local buffet.

Set up the various things. Assigned people to positions. Then sat down to read and kill time.

Look up and Dickie Doo's belly enters the room almost a full minute before he does. Been 3 weeks since i saw him last and he has gotten bigger. Dude had on same shirt as last time and now it is super tight and looking like it is about to burst.

We joke that at these events if you see a fuckable woman she is gonna be one of the performers girlfriends or wives. And this event no fuckable women.

Was one so wide she got 1 and part of the other buttcheek on the seat and the rest hung out in the aisle. Was a guy that looked like the male version of Tammy Slaton. Big ass lump on his forehead and all.

Gonna scan through the footage from the cameras and try to get good shoots of these hamplanets.

Intermission hits,I go outside to smoke and get away. Come back in an get told "Yea Dickie Doo is now claiming he has lost 150lbs and runs every day." So I told them how I just saw him 2 weeks ago and he is bigger now. Asked what he claims he weighs now... "He is saying 225. But look at that 4xl shirt straining to not pop a seam on him. He has to be over 400"

Show ends. Venue had ran the consessions. Get told that everyone that worked the show got a free hot dogs. I let all the folks that actually were performing to go get their food first. Sitting at a table reading a book,glance up and I see Dickie Doo walking out the front door with 3 or 4 hot dogs,plus another he was stuffing in his fat mouth.

So I asked if he had done any work before I got there. Nope. Told the guy running the event. Dude got mad. "That fat load thinks he can get in free do nothing and get free food. Gonna text him right now telling him he has to buy a ticket or do work."

Told the guy right then Look Dickie Doo aint gonna work,aint gonna pay. He will just stop coming.

Yep I was right. Dickie Doo claimed he worked. His work sitting at a table and filming one angle with his ipad. Never mind he never gives the editor this footage. And he never looks to see if stuff is framed right. Told the guy let me handle this.

"Look Dickie Doo you do not do a fucking thing at shows. We already got 8 cameras so your IPAD footage isn't needed. Stop being a lazy fat worthless waste of space and help out or buy a fucking ticket."

Been a few days and Dickie Doo is trying to claim I dont like him cause I am Fatphobic.

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

This isn't about one deathfat in particular, but a more general pattern I'm noticing. For one thing, 99% of deathfat encounters happen in Walmart. It's like an irl spawn chamber for them. Secondly, every time I see one they're always eating while they shop. The most common foods I see them with are ice cream, soda, pastries, and candy. Pure sugar and carbs, zero nutrition.

Now for the rare encounter which happened outside of Walmart and made me a bit sad. I saw a whole deathfat family at the airport last year. The mom was a real beast. Imagine one of those fat zombies from Resident Evil 6, but with a Hello Kitty hairbow perched atop a profusion of chins, each replete with chin hairs. The dad was both short and obese, a bit smaller than the mom in both width and height. Her beard rivaled his.

They had one daughter who was about five and already rotund. The whole time I was waiting for my flight, she was watching pop music videos on her mom's phone and eating a chocolate donut while drinking an entire adult-sized bottle of Coca Cola. At one point, she set the donut down on the airport floor, changed the video she was watching, picked it up again, and took a bite. Neither of her parents said a word to her about eating food off the floor. When she finished the donut, her mom handed her a candy bar from her purse.

Poor thing doesn't stand a chance. She's going to be morbidly obese before she's even 10 years old. I rarely feel sorry for deathfats since obesity is just a lack of self-control, but this girl will never be taught self-control in the first place. If she ever learns it, it'll be on her own as an adult. If overfeeding a cat or dog is animal abuse, then overfeeding your kid is child neglect at the very least.

 

[Clostridium Botulinum]

This went on for 3 sandwiches. Apiece.

With how expensive airport food is, how do these fuckers afford 6 sandwiches? I know airport kiosks don't accept EBT.

This is why I hit up Sheetz or Jersey Mikes before flying.