Holy shit,
Vice City Stories is a waste. I remember being like
mildly into it when it got ported to PS2, I 100% it, I’ve done worse for less.
But every time I revisit it now, or even just hear one of those VCS radio ads, I just feel this rising sense of fraud.
Early game: "Drive the guy. I dunno. Here’s 800 fake dollars.”
Bro, what did they do to the Flashback FM DJ? From
GTA III? She’s just
saying words at people. Not jokes. Her character is like: “haha what if a woman constantly flashed people but it’s off-screen so you just have to imagine it.”
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The military base thing at first had me like “oooh,” but the gang business minigames feel like a chore. There’s literally no mechanical difference between a “level one” and “level three” weed factory other than the number going up.
Victor just stumbles ass backwards into a life of crime. Half the missions are him babysitting his dumbass brother.
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In the interest of fairness there
are like, two things I liked: The Hunter helicopter in the final mission! Nice.
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Also, the trailer park weirdos. Loved ‘em. And the game murders all of them? Except the fat one.