Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

[Overdrive MASK_de_SMITH]

I've been away for a while, so I don't know if this was posted already, but this is a massive L for troons. Troons can no longer compete in the Olympic or Paralympic games in women's categories.

 

[Dolly Brooks]

Hard disagree.

Spoiler: Pussy flavor OT

Granted, some can stain your tongue after a single lick with a thick pungent flavor that just won't go away, no matter what. But the good ones... Oh man... My tongue is like Excalibur, buried as deep as the human anatomy allows it. So much so, that the underneath side of my tongue would be sore for days after, but it's worth it every time. Side-note, the only smelly or disgusting pussies I've experienced were non-white. Do with that information what you will.

Yeah but what did smallpox leprosy TB river water pussy of yore taste like? That’s the real question.

 

[Waffle Iron]

Yeah but what did smallpox leprosy TB river water pussy of yore taste like? That’s the real question.

Now you know why men were evolved to be so horny. Back in the day it made men willing to go down on river water pussy, now it causes men to get a fetish for wearing women's clothing.

 

[Mad_Dog]

C) If using toothpaste as recommented in Part A on the genitalia mentioned in Part B, use gel toothpaste, not the abrasive stuff.

Not recommended at all. Mint-flavored stuff causes a burning sensation in the poosey

 

[Sean Andalou]

A good time to get back on track?

---

New frontiers in speech policing.


Reddit -- Archive

About 2 weeks ago I was staying at a hotel with a pool and while wearing my gaff bathing suit, some I'd say late generation millenials(so just now crossing 30) one guy and like 3 girls one of which was the guys sister came in, the guy called over to me about the temp of the water, no big deal right? Wrong. The way he asked was quote "hey brother, what's the water like?" I was stunned for a moment and just stammered out more to myself than anyone, "do I look like a brother?" His sister caught him, corrected him and he said "sorry dude i call everyone dude bro and brother." To which his CisFemale sister said "no you fucking don't you where raised with 4 sisters. Now apologize to the nice LADY and shut up." I thanked her without saying a single word she just nodded and smiled then subtlety pointed at her, or should I say, "his" wrist. On his wrist was a bracelet with a transmale flag.

Tldr:biggot got called out by his closeted transmale brother for calling me a passing transwoman brother. Don't let people tell you they call everyone dude guy brother etc. they don't it's a cover for when they get called out.

Some discussion back and forth in the comments.
Scrolling down a bit, here's a good one.

I'm in a poly with two transmasculine nonbinary partners and a transfemale girlfriend. Both of my transmasc partners where the ones who convinced me it wasn't okay. They both said "your not transfem, your trans female. You've stated yourself that you are going to drop the trans label after your surgery. Youre a woman so don't let anyone call you a man."

There's a reason the distinction between transfem and transfemale exist. Transfem is a NB transperson term. I'm Not nonbinary. I am female. "Dude positive";is just a way for biggots to get around their bigotry. Think of this, there's not "chick positive." Counter. That means it's only aimed at trans women.

I pass but I'm average and a bit Manish. Its not acceptable to have a random stranger point that out. Ever.

 

[Muskcarpone]

You're not supposed to talk about this, but hell, I'll say it. Pussy tastes bad, even if it was washed five minutes ago. Don't take it as a personal judgment, but it just does. Self-cleaning, acids, I don't know about any of that, all I know is I had to discreetly wash my mouth out with soap last time.

Bullshit. Pussy tastes like nectar and ambrosia.

 

[pooterino]

A TiF expresses mournful betrayal that she was dumb enough to believe that she could somehow look like a biological male at literally any fucking point during her life. Yes, you read that right: she sincerely believed that the second she turned 18 - as if it's some sort of fairytale - that she could reverse everything and look "just like a cis man." Rather than realizing she's one of the dumber monkeys in the troon troop, she pulls a troon classic and dodges responsibility by blaming both doctors as well as fellow pooners for misleading her.

"but even for those who are relatively lucky, you usually end up a bit uncanny because your base skeleton is wrong."

Lol, did that wannabee troon get banned from the subreddit for speaking such a TERF-y line?? If only...

Yes, some troons do need step-by-step instructions for basic personal hygiene. Zach Antolak ("Zinnia Jones") doesn't start learning how to brush his teeth until he is 35. I doubt he knows now.

....what.

You don't even technically need a toothbrush to brush your teeth. Just some toothpaste and your (recently washed) hand, using your finger as an impromptu toothbrush. People literally teach their five year old children to do this when the kid tries to get out of the routine because a toothbrush was forgotten on a trip or fell into the garbage can and is dirty or something. Jesus I hate this world.

Everyone sweats, most people probably leak a bit of piss in their underwear, that sort of stuff, that's the entire reason why we take showers especially before doing intimate things. It's just this romanticisation of what a relationship/sex should be and getting people to expect the impossible. I get home and fucking stink of sweat and dirt, she does and I mean doesn't stink of sweat but still doesn't smell great because being stuck in stuffy work uniforms all day will do that. No one is going to get home and instantly smell like flowers and people saying that sort of stuff are just pushing an impossible standard.

Not to be gross or anything you're not only correct but... some of us like a little stank. Islam rate me if you must but (while I'm not into pee or poo) a partner's fragrance can be part of the charm/experience. Not like day's old mangy sweat or anything but you ever rub up on someone you like who just got back from a quick run? It's a thing.

Oh shit. I just looked at your name. OK I think you may be on board with this.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Bullshit. Pussy tastes like nectar and ambrosia.

Nectar & Ambrosia...

I have a great idea for a new Soda brand!

I will be very rich soon!

 

[Taxes]

As much as the pussy talk is fascinating, I think we are all forgetting something. This is TIFs, we're talking about. Pooners are notorious for being the stankiest of women, due to their various mental illnesses, social ineptitude, dogshit hygiene habits, and willingness to imitate the grossest of male stereotypes. These chicks already smelled like sweaty skunk ass on an australian afternoon pre-T and even worse after. No self-respecting person with their wits about them is going down on that. "Gay" men (read: bisexuals and straight) have two choices: A) histronic, BPD-addled, smelly pooner (less than ~1% of population) vs. B) normal, relatively well-adjusted, clean woman (over 50% of population). One leads to having to manage a would-be asylum patient with strange kinks who will have a BPD meltdown at being "misgendered" when you're trying to get down and dirty. The other is a regular, possibly fun hookup. One is so mentally fragile that if you don't 100% praise them for doing the bare minimum (washing at most thrice a week), it's a 6 paragraph essay on why your abusive on reddit. The other already does the bathing regularly thing by habit and has bigger things to worry about than constantly skinwalking the opposite sex. Who is this hypothetical "gay" guy going to pick? That's less a question and more a denial on the Tifs part. Not to mention the fact that so many of these chicks are whiny, self-centered, and have mile-long expectations for guys to even date them and if you do, get ready for the "chaser" allegations.

Anyways, thread tax.
A) Tranny bitches and moans about no longer being able to cheat women and girls out of their hardearned trophies and prestige on a massive scale with little effort.
B) "Boymoder" complains about pronouns at work even though he isn't even skinwalking yet.

Edit: sorry, no summary or text. On mobile, first post--need to lurk more.

 

[DootSkeleton]

Hard disagree.

Spoiler: Pussy flavor OT

Granted, some can stain your tongue after a single lick with a thick pungent flavor that just won't go away, no matter what. But the good ones... Oh man... My tongue is like Excalibur, buried as deep as the human anatomy allows it. So much so, that the underneath side of my tongue would be sore for days after, but it's worth it every time. Side-note, the only smelly or disgusting pussies I've experienced were non-white. Do with that information what you will.

It really, REALLY depends on the woman's diet. The meme of eating strawberries or pineapples to make your ejaculate or secretions taste better is real. That plus good hygiene makes for a great experience for both.
That being said, no tranny or pooner would ever fall into that category because they eat like garbage and have poor hygiene.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

https://kiwifarms.st/attachments/1753280393982-webp.7681178/

Of all the things that never happened, this happened the least.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

New frontiers in speech policing

That's the most fucking reddit story going. True r/all material. Got all the key components for your fanfic. I mean I can just look at a woman and go 'yep that's the guy's sister', can't we all? I also have 20/10 vision and can perfectly read an arm band on someone despite them being far away enough that they needed to shout for me to hear them. And then to top it off, it was a 'closeted' trans man, that's why she was wearing a bracelet that identified her as trans. Because that's what 'closeted' means. I'm actually a closeted nazi that's why I wear a swastika armband. 750 updooty points and I didn't see a single person in the comments calling this obvious bullshit bullshit. Also what the fuck are these people on about; 'no one actually calls everyone bro' as if the people falling for this fake story have any right to talk about how normal people act, you know nothing about normal socalisation, that's why you're circlejerking over some trannies one handed fanfic? Even if this was true what does it say about you? You're overly sensitive and don't hear people out when they explain something that is incredibly possible and not intentionally harmful? What a brilliant thing to say about yourself.

But I'll concede. I won't call you 'dude' or 'bro' I will call you 'deformed biological male' instead. Is that better? Finger curls on the monkey's paw and all.

 

[Sean Andalou]

750 updooty points and I didn't see a single person in the comments calling this obvious bullshit bullshit.

People don't go to Reddit to be called on their bullshit, you know.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

People don't go to Reddit to be called on their bullshit, you know.

But I thought redditors were the superior intellectuals who epicly debunk misinformation with true F4X AND L0G1C? I thought they loved calling people out on their 'delusions' and brigaded subs for that exact reason. Genuinely though I would expect there to be at least a couple people calling this shit fake but there were absolutely none.

 

[Sean Andalou]

I thought they loved calling people out on their 'delusions' ...

Well OK, but do the people they call out ever hear about it?

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Honestly, penetrative sex involves a lot of risks with very little payoff for women.

Who exactly are you fucking?

 

[Paper Machete]

OT at this point but you can smell pretty good nearly all of the time by keeping yourself super clean and not eating like shit. When you use the restroom never wipe back to front (a shocking number of women didn't get this memo), clean with disposable wipes all over your no no parts every time you use the restroom (and I do mean all over make sure you get all the creases, no patting or quick swipe). If sweating because of heat wipe yourself down and give yourself a "whore bath" (washing your pits and private area) throughout the day. Apply deodorant not just to your pits but to your under boob and even underwear area (quality deodorants should be safe to do this with, obv not directly on vulva or anything). I get two different sticks, one for pits and under boob and one for further south. You may need to reapply it if you're also someone who freshens up with wipes throughout the day. This is mostly for warm seasons and you don't have to be as crazy about it when it's cold out. Body odor is when sweat and grime that's collected throughout the day(s) is fed on by bacteria so the key is to not let sweat and other nasty stuff dry or stay on you throughout the day. What you wear also plays a part as cotton just soaks up sweat but doesn't wick and synthetic fibers trap heat/sweat usually. If you can get clothes and base layers made of linen and wool then use those. Clean your shoes regularly as all the sweat that goes through your socks builds up and just...is there, gross. The same applies to your bedsheets. Change then a lot. As often as you can make work. Sweat and oils from previous days will be there rubbing all back on you again. Wash your hair every time you bath. Some people for whatever reason think they need to care for their style by not washing as often. Get a decent shampoo that doesn't strip the oils from your hair and this shouldn't be necessary. Your hair is porous and soaks in whatever smells you've been around a lot so you need to wash it every time you take a bath.

It seems like a lot but they're really simply habits.

Pooners of course do pretty much everything wrong when it comes to feminine/general hygiene. Not wanting to shower regularly, having shit diets, ruining their ph balance with wrong sex hormone use, their skin getting super greasy from the same, increased risk of UTIs because of T use, gross ass packers, etc.

 

[Waffle Iron]

When you use the restroom never wipe back to front (a shocking number of women didn't get this memo),

Who would even do this. Do they reach down from the front or something? Maybe it's because I'm a guy but I have no idea how you even wipe like that.

 

[Paper Machete]

Who would even do this. Do they reach down from the front or something? Maybe it's because I'm a guy but I have no idea how you even wipe like that.

For one, if you're super fucking fat. Reaching to get between all that ass can be more difficult. Also, if you want to lose sleep watch some videos on waxers and the like recounting horror tales.

"It's the dick cheese!" No honey, it was like that before he got there. (Nasty dick doesn't help of course but if you let nasty dick near you it's because you're nasty.)

 

[Drive-by Farts]

“Base skeleton is wrong”

You can tell a lot of these people don’t interact at all with little kids (THANK GOD) because the base skeleton is wrong from birth. Anyone who has had a baby boy and a baby girl knows this. My own son already had a triangle shape (wide shoulders, small hips) from birth, the feet and way of walking are different, and the arms are long. Little baby boys are honestly shaped like chimps and have the strength to go with it. Baby girls have short little arms that can’t hardly reach the top of their heads, and small shoulders with a rectangle body.

Also. when you consider that puberty is hitting at an early as 9 or 10 years old these days, what this person is asking is absolutely ridiculous. You’d have to be putting 8 year old girls on testosterone. Why not, let’s just give all 3rd graders steroids. Give ‘em crack and meth while we’re at it.

You don’t hate pooners enough!

I'm going to guess autistic coomer that just isn't showering and doing laundry.

True but I would also like to posit that trannies literally just smell. Like literal shit! I had to stand behind two trannies at the airport coming home from an international flight. You might expect stinky armpit smell or something but no, it’s actual literal poop stench. Maybe these two had botched bottom surgeries or something but it was foul, they smelt so bad.