Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app - The surveillance state equivalent of the mean girls burn book

When Cid Walker opens the Tea app, she’s greeted by a barrage of posts about men and their apparent "red" and "green" "flags."

“He’s a cheater,” Walker said, reading some of the comments on one post out loud.

"What clubs does he go to?" another person asked on a different post. "He’s cute."

The app, which appears to have been advertising itself online since at least last fall, allows users to solicit feedback about specific men they’re dating.

Walker, 22, is among the 4 million users on the women-only safety app, which this week became the No. 1 free app in the Apple App Store.

It picked up viral traction in the last month after some people began talking about it online on Reddit and TikTok. The app gained more than 900,000 new signups in the last few days, Tea said on social media. Getting off the waitlist can now take days, an inconvenience many new users complained about in comments on the app's Instagram posts.

Upon opening Tea, users are presented with local men whose photos have been uploaded, along with their first names. For each of the men, other women on the app can report whether they deem him a “red flag” or a “green flag” and leave comments about him, such as those recounting negative date experiences or vouching for him as a friend.

“I’ve seen so many people I know on the app, it’s crazy,” said Walker, a Cleveland-area user who joined the app last week after having seen multiple viral posts about it. “Like, oh my God, I would never think all this stuff about them.”

App users can look up individual names in the search bar or create custom alerts for specific men. The app also offers functions that let users run background checks, search for criminal histories and reverse-search photos to check whether a man is catfishing by using someone else’s photos on his dating profile.

The woman-only app was created by a man, Sean Cook, who said on Tea’s website that he was inspired after he watched his mother’s “terrifying experience with online dating,” including being catfished and unknowingly dating men with criminal records.

Cook’s profile on LinkedIn lists him as the founder of Tea since 2022. The description under his role says, “Tea was self-funded by Sean.”

Cook did not respond to a request for comment. A representative for Tea said the app isn’t offering interviews at this time.

Tea’s mission mirrors similar efforts that have gained popularity in other online forums, such as “Are We Dating The Same Guy?,” a Facebook community with millions of members across the country in localized offshoots.

While the communities have stated that their mission is to keep women safe, they have also faced backlash from men online who say they fear being misrepresented or doxxed on the platforms.

The Facebook groups, which advertise themselves as spaces for women to warn other women about “liars, cheaters, abusers, or anyone who exhibits any type of toxic or dangerous behavior,” have for years been criticized online for devolving into places for gossip or for spreading possible misinformation about people. Last year, judges dismissed two defamation lawsuits filed in Illinois and California by men who were posted in the groups.

With Tea, some men have posted in forums asking for others to report the app in hope of getting it shut down, and others have expressed interest in a men-only equivalent on which they could discuss and mock women.

One app has already tried to offer that. The Teaborn app climbed to No. 3 in the free apps chart Wednesday before it disappeared from the App Store.

Shortly ahead of its removal, the app had rolled out an update with “enhanced content moderation and reporting tools” after its creator condemned users for allegedly sharing revenge porn on the platform.

Teaborn told NBC News in a social media statement: “Apple just removed us yesterday because Tea app doesn’t like competition, but we are working to go back with a new brand!”

Apple didn’t respond to a request for comment.

Despite finding apps like Tea entertaining, users like Walker have expressed discomfort with the idea of allowing so many people to anonymously speak negatively about others online.

Signing up for Tea requires users to take selfies, which the app says are deleted after review, to prove they are women. All users who get accepted are anonymous outside of the usernames they choose. Screenshots are also blocked.

On its website, Tea describes itself as “more than an app; it’s a sisterhood.” The app claims it donates 10% of its profits to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

A spokesperson for the hotline didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment Thursday.

“Together, we’re redefining modern dating,” the app says.

Walker said that she has noticed many users focus more on gossip than real safety concerns but that she believes some people have found Tea useful for exposing serious issues like abuse.

“I feel like if people were to use the app how it’s supposed to be used, this could actually save a lot of women from being hurt or harmed,” Walker said. “But at this point, I think it’s like a joke to everybody and just like cyberbullying.”



 
There are very few places where people used to meet that are still open to letting people meet amd flirt. Someone a while back (perhaps @The Ugly One ?) posted a graph of ‘where I met my spouse’ over time and it’s basically’church/family/community’ giving way to ‘work’ and then ‘online.’
All the irl places have built in vetting because people around you know the potential suitor. They will give you that feedback. He’s nice, just shy. Avoid him, he has a temper, etc.
Online has none of that. Online is full of hook ups, people you have no idea about. And you choose on different criteria. IRL maybe that girl was a bit homely but lovely, but online it’s just a photo and some labels you’re choosing on. So it not only skews who you meet, it skews the criteria you pick on and removes rhe safety settings
how-heterosexual-couples-met-v0-uwe4cchpfz5c1.webp

This one?
 
Nah, this is storing PII in plaintext like everything developed by tech illiterate brainlets, it's a lawlsuit disaster waiting to happen.

I give it a week before some chud releases 50,000 foid drivers licenses and they get sued.
Sued for what? Why are moids so convinced this app is full of defamation? Is saying "My ex was a terrible person" a crime in America? How do you know they are lying?
 
Online has none of that. Online is full of hook ups, people you have no idea about. And you choose on different criteria. IRL maybe that girl was a bit homely but lovely, but online it’s just a photo and some labels you’re choosing on. So it not only skews who you meet, it skews the criteria you pick on and removes rhe safety settings
We give women shit for only swiping right on the top 20%, but I see men saying a woman is a "4" when she's quite pretty. The collapse in friendship is especially troubling. It seems to me that the two sexes simply don't socialize at all any more.
 
Can someone explain this gatekeeping thing?

If one needed a selfie, it can be generated with a selfie and a non-nude tag on any AI porn site.

If one needed an ID, the face can be AI generated and the text can be photoshopped. It's not like the app would have access to government records to verify it, right?

I'm confused about the women-only aspect. It sounds easy to circumvent. Am I missing something?
Nope, not really. It sounds like that's probably all there is. If you were less tech savvy maybe you could pay some homeless woman or someone in the third world to verify for you.

That fact that you're having this thought already puts you above most of the user base of this app for even considering it.
 
it's unironically no different than what we do here on the farms.
Well, one thing for sure is that josh isn't collecting people's driver's licenses and storing them in a place where somebody with less than good intentions can get them. holy shit is that some next level stupid on the developer's part.
The app is basically a bunch of unhappy carp-faced landwhales to talk shit about men anonymously, and they're handing their info over to some strange guy they don't know for "verification purposes". Maybe its my jaded side, but something just seems a little nefarious about that.
 
We give women shit for only swiping right on the top 20%, but I see men saying a woman is a "4" when she's quite pretty. The collapse in friendship is especially troubling. It seems to me that the two sexes simply don't socialize at all any more.
To be fair, in this corner of the Internet, it seems that nobody is good looking enough.

Thirst posters aside, people are consistently shitting on people who look perfectly fine.

Every dick is small, every woman is ugly and fat.

I am not sure it's representative of the majority. I imagine most people are just like me and don't give enough of a shit to comment.
 
Isn't this why young people were apparently using Instagram and other social media, in place of these shitty dating apps? You check out your friends of friends, you get an idea of who they are from their posts/photos, you already share some friend circles so they're probably not an insane rapist who's going to give you herpes, etc.

I'm amazed that any woman nowadays would risk meeting a random man through something like Tinder in this day and age.
 
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There are very few places where people used to meet that are still open to letting people meet amd flirt. Someone a while back (perhaps @The Ugly One ?) posted a graph of ‘where I met my spouse’ over time and it’s basically’church/family/community’ giving way to ‘work’ and then ‘online.’
All the irl places have built in vetting because people around you know the potential suitor. They will give you that feedback. He’s nice, just shy. Avoid him, he has a temper, etc.
Online has none of that. Online is full of hook ups, people you have no idea about. And you choose on different criteria. IRL maybe that girl was a bit homely but lovely, but online it’s just a photo and some labels you’re choosing on. So it not only skews who you meet, it skews the criteria you pick on and removes rhe safety settings
This is very important and gets understated in the generalised ree and baw over online dating.

In university, everyone knows who the resident creeps of the student union bar, or of your class, are. The 'big lassies' will actively take the freshers aside and say "Watch him, don't get cornered by him". They will barge on in and break up the known creeps and date rapists trying to make a move on the unwary. The drunk and vulnerable will, if seen, be pulled aside and lumped in a taxi. The social vetting system will, as a rule, generally work. My experience and that of my peers and younger friends is that everyone knew who was a rank badyin and they knew because they had been warned. I was warned, I did the warning of the young ones in my turn.

In workplaces, in my experience, the older women or at least those who have been there longer, will quietly and as tactfully as they can warn the young women and the new hires about the same type of creep. There was a fuss in the UK papers a few years back when it emerged the lassies working in and around parliament had a spreadsheet of MPs and parliamentary journalists who were creeps and gropers. It was only surprising that they'd actually written it down.

My nigel went to a closely associated school to mine. Siblings were spread across both, friends, cousins, neighbours; I knew him before we got together but over and above that we shared an entire social network. That kind of social vetting is exactly what girls and women, as a rule, rely on to feel some sense of security that this dude is not a psycho or a known rapist.

Now, sadly, this is obviously far from foolproof. But it's better than nothing. It will at least sort out for you the guy whose last girlfriend kept 'walking into doors' and the one who is often seen carrying an unconscious body back to his lair on a Saturday night. Bad Stories about dudes Get Around.

A dude you encounter online is a complete fucking stranger who might not even be the dude he's claiming to be online. That is astronomically more dangerous. To old women of my age, it's so fucking dangerous you wouldn't even consider it. I am not surprised that this method of meeting random strangers off the internet for sex is going very fucking badly for all involved. I am also in no way surprised that people feel they would feel safer if they had the online equivalent of the big lassies' warning to "watch him".

But the internet is not a community. You can't replicate that online. It's not even just about the information, or the relative secrecy in which it is passed. It's the concept of a community. It's the feeling of responsibility or the willingness to act. If one of the fourth years put her arm around me at a social and marched me away from from whatever fourth year dude was talking to me, I knew and trusted in her as a member of our shared community to know she was doing it for a reason and go with her to the toilets or wherever I was being removed to for my safety. I absolutely did not scream at her that she was JUST JEALOUS and a ROASTIEEE or the crap that goes on online when one unconnected woman says to another, 'look, this guy might not be on the level'. Without a community that kind of trust can't build, and it's the trust that's always been relied on to police the creeps out of the dating pool.

I don't know how you do it now. The danger is so great and I don't know how you screen for known nutters, let alone the unknown nutters in the pool. I don't know if it's even possible as a matter of social engineering.
 
Im surprised an app like this doesn't exist to rate women. Would save men a lot of time and money if they could avoid crazy bitches and mudsharks
There have been some websites for it, but they are always taken down for various reasons. Apple and Google would not allow such an app to exist either.
 
Im surprised an app like this doesn't exist to rate women. Would save men a lot of time and money if they could avoid crazy bitches and mudsharks
From what I've seen, the first male version I saw in response ('Teaborn') lasted for 2 days before it got filled with revenge porn. Wasn't even necessarily by men who appeared on this Tea app, it was just men who wanted to post their ex's nude photos for whatever reason.
 
They should have definitely had some sort of moderation system that was better implimented so that it didn't result in shitflinging for no reason, but I definitely see the use for an app like this.
There's absolutely no use for an app like this. It's just bitter, angry cat ladies, and from what all the leaks show, a bunch of really ugly psycho bitches.
 
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