Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app - The surveillance state equivalent of the mean girls burn book

When Cid Walker opens the Tea app, she’s greeted by a barrage of posts about men and their apparent "red" and "green" "flags."

“He’s a cheater,” Walker said, reading some of the comments on one post out loud.

"What clubs does he go to?" another person asked on a different post. "He’s cute."

The app, which appears to have been advertising itself online since at least last fall, allows users to solicit feedback about specific men they’re dating.

Walker, 22, is among the 4 million users on the women-only safety app, which this week became the No. 1 free app in the Apple App Store.

It picked up viral traction in the last month after some people began talking about it online on Reddit and TikTok. The app gained more than 900,000 new signups in the last few days, Tea said on social media. Getting off the waitlist can now take days, an inconvenience many new users complained about in comments on the app's Instagram posts.

Upon opening Tea, users are presented with local men whose photos have been uploaded, along with their first names. For each of the men, other women on the app can report whether they deem him a “red flag” or a “green flag” and leave comments about him, such as those recounting negative date experiences or vouching for him as a friend.

“I’ve seen so many people I know on the app, it’s crazy,” said Walker, a Cleveland-area user who joined the app last week after having seen multiple viral posts about it. “Like, oh my God, I would never think all this stuff about them.”

App users can look up individual names in the search bar or create custom alerts for specific men. The app also offers functions that let users run background checks, search for criminal histories and reverse-search photos to check whether a man is catfishing by using someone else’s photos on his dating profile.

The woman-only app was created by a man, Sean Cook, who said on Tea’s website that he was inspired after he watched his mother’s “terrifying experience with online dating,” including being catfished and unknowingly dating men with criminal records.

Cook’s profile on LinkedIn lists him as the founder of Tea since 2022. The description under his role says, “Tea was self-funded by Sean.”

Cook did not respond to a request for comment. A representative for Tea said the app isn’t offering interviews at this time.

Tea’s mission mirrors similar efforts that have gained popularity in other online forums, such as “Are We Dating The Same Guy?,” a Facebook community with millions of members across the country in localized offshoots.

While the communities have stated that their mission is to keep women safe, they have also faced backlash from men online who say they fear being misrepresented or doxxed on the platforms.

The Facebook groups, which advertise themselves as spaces for women to warn other women about “liars, cheaters, abusers, or anyone who exhibits any type of toxic or dangerous behavior,” have for years been criticized online for devolving into places for gossip or for spreading possible misinformation about people. Last year, judges dismissed two defamation lawsuits filed in Illinois and California by men who were posted in the groups.

With Tea, some men have posted in forums asking for others to report the app in hope of getting it shut down, and others have expressed interest in a men-only equivalent on which they could discuss and mock women.

One app has already tried to offer that. The Teaborn app climbed to No. 3 in the free apps chart Wednesday before it disappeared from the App Store.

Shortly ahead of its removal, the app had rolled out an update with “enhanced content moderation and reporting tools” after its creator condemned users for allegedly sharing revenge porn on the platform.

Teaborn told NBC News in a social media statement: “Apple just removed us yesterday because Tea app doesn’t like competition, but we are working to go back with a new brand!”

Apple didn’t respond to a request for comment.

Despite finding apps like Tea entertaining, users like Walker have expressed discomfort with the idea of allowing so many people to anonymously speak negatively about others online.

Signing up for Tea requires users to take selfies, which the app says are deleted after review, to prove they are women. All users who get accepted are anonymous outside of the usernames they choose. Screenshots are also blocked.

On its website, Tea describes itself as “more than an app; it’s a sisterhood.” The app claims it donates 10% of its profits to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

A spokesperson for the hotline didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment Thursday.

“Together, we’re redefining modern dating,” the app says.

Walker said that she has noticed many users focus more on gossip than real safety concerns but that she believes some people have found Tea useful for exposing serious issues like abuse.

“I feel like if people were to use the app how it’s supposed to be used, this could actually save a lot of women from being hurt or harmed,” Walker said. “But at this point, I think it’s like a joke to everybody and just like cyberbullying.”



 
As nerdy as I am I have impressed women with scale modeling. Women love seeing cool dragons well painted in your display cabinet.

You're giving bad advice that doesn't work. It's the same advice women always give and it always fails because it's bad advice.
I think they come up with this overly intellectualized idea of what they want, leaning towards things that make them look good, and try to quantify something simple as chemistry.

And then when they find a guy who ticks all of their arbitrary boxes and there’s no chemistry they come up with “an ick” to explain why it didn’t work.

Instead of being honest, and saying: “Something better may come along, so I’m not going to get invested.”
How many of these Tea women are giving the same advice then acting angry when their pussy dries up? Walking around a Museum is boring, there's nothing to bond over. Crazy golf makes you both laugh. You have bad shots or you get to help each other. It makes you laugh and have a shared experience. It's bonding. A woman will take a man who makes her laugh and involves her in thing over a man who knows who painted something you walk up to then walk away from.

Women do that way more than men do. Women are messy as hell and always say men do the same. My last girlfriend had piles of clothes in the corner. Piles of them. She wasn't dirty, just messy.
Was she hot?
 
Ask them what examples of good male hobbies are. Nine times out of ten it's either going to be some reddit-tier horseshit or just a thinly veiled excuse for you to spend more money on her. Last thread where hobbies were mentioned, when pressed, the poster in question cited travel, boating, and jewelrycrafting. In other words, buy me trips to places, have an expensive boat for me to enjoy, or make me some bling-bling.
  • Become a scout leader
  • Adventure sports like out door rock climbing (indoor bouldering is lame) paragliding, surfing
  • Urban exploration
  • Astrology, star gazing is cute
okay this is hard coz sooo many "hobbies" are just fancy consumerism, or just too extreme like base jumping I wish I could think of more, but like when I've seen someone in hospital from their hobby it just icks that hobby.
 
She’s setting you up to fail. You’ll sperg autistically about your scale modelling hobby, your favorite WW2 tank or the history of some local building, and she’ll post it as an “ick” on some winemom website/app.
You need to find yourself a woman that looks at you the same way my wife looks at the latest Adepta Sororitas releases. I’d have nothing to do with any woman who doesn’t understand why 4th/5th ed. 40K is superior to 10th.

Mind you she still finds my Flames of War and Bolt Action collections weird.
 
Then of course there are women who are beautiful, kind, caring, and talented, because it's important to let the rest of know that we are not in fact good enough.
Why do you feel you have to compete with the best women possible? No man gives a shit you're not perfect. The reasons he likes you is for how you connect with him and how willing you are to support/protect him when he needs that support. Women just being motherly towards a man when he's in a shitty place is an exceptionally rare thing that men would kill for.
Was she hot?
Only during the cremation.
  • Adventure sports like out door rock climbing (indoor bouldering is lame) paragliding, surfing
  • Urban exploration
  • Astrology, star gazing is cute
This is another way of saying "traveling". And none of those are interesting hobbies. They're things youtube videos recommend.
 
Lol very nice. I was dragged to many a WWII museum as a child so I saw my fair share of planes and bombers so I was deeply curious how I missed the catapults.

Notice the modern tricyclic landing gear as well. Very cool plane!

  • Adventure sports like out door rock climbing (indoor bouldering is lame) paragliding, surfing
  • Urban exploration
  • Astrology, star gazing is cute
You mean astronomy? And just be honest, you just threw that one on the list because: “surfing, rock climbing and paragliding” sounds too much like you’re looking for some instagram Chad who’s also into powerlifting and triathlons. :)

Also note: This is how relationships fail. She’ll want him to have some cool hobbies for the social media credit of; “Yeah, Brian is really into hang gliding and surfing”, so imagine the guys surprise once the relationship is secure, and it’s suddenly a problem that he takes off for the weekend to go paragliding with the bros, or want to spend money on a week long surfing trip.
 
Notice the modern tricyclic landing gear as well. Very cool plane!
The paint scheme isn't one I've seen before, is it Naval camouflage or snow? I used to live somewhat near an airforce base and sometimes you would see the old bombers fly in and out. Loved the drone of the old prop planes, so much more evocative than jets.
 
You mean astronomy? And just be honest, you just threw that one on the list because: “surfing, rock climbing and paragliding” sounds too much like you’re looking for some instagram Chad who’s also into powerlifting and triathlons. :)

I was hoping to keep this little secret to myself, but really nothing gets a woman going like Cosmology. Especially the math part.
 
The paint scheme isn't one I've seen before, is it Naval camouflage or snow? I used to live somewhat near an airforce base and sometimes you would see the old bombers fly in and out. Loved the drone of the old prop planes, so much more evocative than jets.
It’s a night fighter camouflage of RLM light blue with splotches of RLM gray.

It came in other camos as well, more typical of night fighters, but this scheme in particular was used on one of the surviving planes that they have in a museum near Dulles airport.

(Hey @RNTard how am I doing so far? Ready for our date to the National Air and Space Museum? Yeah thought not.)

Anyways, check the instruction manual which is made like a 1940ies Luftwaffe manual and hella cool: https://www.scalemates.com/products/img/6/3/6/134636-80-instructions.pdf

This kit is made by a Japanese company called Zoukei Mura. They’re a little pricy but big models. The cool part is that they’re autistic about things like the internal structure, so you build a genuine model of how the plane was put together, and not just something that looks like the plane.
 
  • Become a scout leader
  • Adventure sports like out door rock climbing (indoor bouldering is lame) paragliding, surfing
  • Urban exploration
  • Astrology, star gazing is cute
okay this is hard coz sooo many "hobbies" are just fancy consumerism, or just too extreme like base jumping I wish I could think of more, but like when I've seen someone in hospital from their hobby it just icks that hobby.
Maybe this is just my shitass luck, but outdoor hobbies and women have never mixed for me. It seems like I get one out there, I have a maximum of three hours before I have to get her back to a phone and air conditioning. Significantly shorter than that before complaints start coming in. I'm nearly reaching the point where I'm considering buying a decent RV so I can camp and still bring Mrs. McGill along.
 
Maybe this is just my shitass luck, but outdoor hobbies and women have never mixed for me. It seems like I get one out there, I have a maximum of three hours before I have to get her back to a phone and air conditioning. Significantly shorter than that before complaints start coming in. I'm nearly reaching the point where I'm considering buying a decent RV so I can camp and still bring Mrs. McGill along.
I mean probably. There are women that enjoy outdoor hobbies for sure. The problem is for men is that they are taken faster than lightning once a man realizes she is serious and not putting on a front to fake impress him.
 
Maybe this is just my shitass luck, but outdoor hobbies and women have never mixed for me. It seems like I get one out there, I have a maximum of three hours before I have to get her back to a phone and air conditioning. Significantly shorter than that before complaints start coming in. I'm nearly reaching the point where I'm considering buying a decent RV so I can camp and still bring Mrs. McGill along.
Nine out ten times, women want a man into outdoorsy stuff, so they can brag to their friends and particularly on SM about having a guy who’s into that.

Good idea with the RV though. The missus can come along and do whatever she’s interested in, while you’re off conquering the outdoors.

I was hoping to keep this little secret to myself, but really nothing gets a woman going like Cosmology. Especially the math part.
TAKING NOTES!

This will surely work like a charm!

Got a date lined up with a former model on Thursday, can’t wait to impress her!

I’ll bet you she’ll be begging to go back to my place, by the time we start talking about how few of the standard model’s prediction on the Big Bang have managed to work out!
 
It’s a night fighter camouflage of RLM light blue with splotches of RLM gray.

It came in other camos as well, more typical of night fighters, but this scheme in particular was used on one of the surviving planes that they have in a museum near Dulles airport.

(Hey @RNTard how am I doing so far? Ready for our date to the National Air and Space Museum? Yeah thought not.)
hmmm, you kinda go overboard with the detail and i don't really understand what your saying, whats RLM? I get the meaning but how can a plane be camouflaged when it's moving so fast?
 
Fucking this. When you hear: “Have some hobbies” it means “be interested in foods so you can take me on expensive restaurants” or “be interested in travel, so I can get some free trips.”

It doesn’t mean: “Tell me about your scale modelling, and how the He219 was the first plane with a catapult”, it definitely doesn’t mean “Tell me about your watch collection unless it’s worth six figures”, and it never means: “Oh, you’re into woodworking and ring making.”
"Do extreme sports so I can show you off!"
"Cook because I like lavish meals!"
"Read but only the books I/women like!"
"Lift so I'm attracted to you."
"Drink/smoke because I'm also a boozehead/stoner!"
"Only be into movie genres I like!"
"Fix cars so you can fix mine!"
"Nerd out but only popular and socially acceptable stuff like the MCU!"
"Travel but only to Honolulu, Rome and Paris, not Hartheim, the Jonestown site and Gettysburg."
"Play video games but only casually!"
"Collect but not too much/it will be sold once the kids go to college or our home needs to be renovated!"

Not all women are like this but enough are.
 
hmmm, you kinda go overboard with the detail and i don't really understand what your saying, whats RLM? I get the meaning but how can a plane be camouflaged when it's moving so fast?
Ah, RLM=ReichLuftfartsMinisterium, who were in charge of their airforce. They had standard paints. Like RLM 76 which was a light blue.

As for camouflage, it helped when they were sitting still on the ground for example.

Around WW1 they also figured that some of the best kinds of camouflage were among animals like zebras.

So you had stuff like this:
IMG_2629.webp

The purpose of the camouflage wasn’t to hide it but to break up the lines and make it harder to judge angle, speed and direction. Stuff that’s handy for ships as well as planes flying at 500 km/h.
 
It’s a night fighter camouflage of RLM light blue with splotches of RLM gray.

It came in other camos as well, more typical of night fighters, but this scheme in particular was used on one of the surviving planes that they have in a museum near Dulles airport.

(Hey @RNTard how am I doing so far? Ready for our date to the National Air and Space Museum? Yeah thought not.)

Anyways, check the instruction manual which is made like a 1940ies Luftwaffe manual and hella cool: https://www.scalemates.com/products/img/6/3/6/134636-80-instructions.pdf

This kit is made by a Japanese company called Zoukei Mura. They’re a little pricy but big models. The cool part is that they’re autistic about things like the internal structure, so you build a genuine model of how the plane was put together, and not just something that looks like the plane.
Fascinating plane, I've never seen an antenna array like that before, almost thought it was sprew lines from the model at first. I love the Japanese autism for historical recreation, it is a dedication I sometimes wished I had.

Have you ever been to that military grave yard out west? Seeing specimens in real life is impressive even for a disinterested observer so it would be heaven for a fan.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Reckless Starfish
"Do extreme sports so I can show you off!"
"Cook because I like lavish meals!"
"Read but only the books I/women like!"
"Lift so I'm attracted to you."
"Drink/smoke because I'm also a boozehead/stoner!"
"Only be into movie genres I like!"
"Fix cars so you can fix mine!"
"Nerd out but only popular and socially acceptable stuff like the MCU!"
"Travel but only to Honolulu, Rome and Paris, not Hartheim, the Jonestown site and Gettysburg."
"Play video games but only casually!"
"Collect but not too much/it will be sold once the kids go to college or our home needs to be renovated!"

Not all women are like this but enough are.
Word.

Instead of making demands, maybe focus on chemistry? You can always pretend to be interested in whatever, or find a hobby together. Or have some hobbies separate. If you’re going to be together for decades, you can use some occasional time apart.

Had an ex who was really into celebrity gossip and women’s magazines. (As women are I guess?!). Great gf otherwise. So yeah, I had to tolerate it and get a little into as well.

Guess I could have seen it as “an ick” and missed out on a great relationship.

Normalizing “icks” have really been a disaster for dating. It basically encourages the person to not get involved and hope for a better catch to come along. Grass is always greener and all that, and the thief of joy is comparison.
 
You mean astronomy? And just be honest, you just threw that one on the list because: “surfing, rock climbing and paragliding” sounds too much like you’re looking for some instagram Chad who’s also into powerlifting and triathlons. :)

Also note: This is how relationships fail. She’ll want him to have some cool hobbies for the social media credit of; “Yeah, Brian is really into hang gliding and surfing”, so imagine the guys surprise once the relationship is secure, and it’s suddenly a problem that he takes off for the weekend to go paragliding with the bros, or want to spend money on a week long surfing trip.
just be honest, no matter what i said it wouldn't be the right answer for you except maybe being a scout leader coz u didn't criticize that. Yes men with outdoorsy hobbies are better, indoor hobbies just scream fat.

The issue isn't him going on days long trips, doing his hobby, it's not involving her, checking in, and just not being there when she needs him. You just can't prioritise yourself in a relationship.
 
"Collect but not too much/it will be sold once the kids go to college or our home needs to be renovated!"
That is just a problem of not having shared values or goals. I mean, if having a collection of things is more valuable than working on your home or on your kid's future, that's fine, but you have to specifically look for a partner that agrees with you on that. I doubt I'd find many men either that would agree that a shoe collection is more important than either one of those things, for example.
 
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