🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[General Woundwort]

Amber honey, if the cup has a straw, you don't need to tip it.
Bitch is 35 and still needs a sippy cup.

 

[Holy T_Rex]

Half of the world is at war, the economy is in the shitter, nature is collapsing due to pollution, but at least we know one thing: Amber is still a useless, fat fuck, and that's not gonna change

 

[Baguette]

Her neck is MIA/KIA. She's absolutely massive. Definitely gained over the past month.

 

[Jacknife]

Imagine waddlen to a tree and back and being proud of that. And counting that as exercise. Now, don’t get me wrong. Normally I’d be all for moving in whatever way you can despite whatever disability or health issue. But this is Amber. In her mind, walking five steps means a trip to McDs for a reward.

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I love how she can keep a somewhat normal walking speed when going straight but as soon as she needs to make a turn she has to awkwardly stop her momentum and walk on the spot, she also keeps flaying her arms, probably because her body is basically autistic

 

[Hambers Dainty Hands]

She's clearly just copying content that she's seen online about working from home and how she finds that content 'asfeticllyyyy pleeeesun', it'll just be her scrolling farms and reddits about herself, writing comments on her clacky keyboard on her sock accounts and filing sooooo many defamayshuuuun and slaaaandurr lawsuits to reaction channels. Absolutely ridiculous that she's trying to take legitimate content that other people make about their lifestyle and try to act like she's a productive, work-focused, girlboss kween!!! She's switching out keyboards for her main account and sock account so people don't find out who she really is...
Proceeds to then eat god knows how much crap.
Also, Hecticana released a video about how the lighting never actually changes in her apartment; she's sitting with the window on her right, and the light levels never change once in the video. She likely recorded it all within 30 minutes to a couple of hours.
It's giving acrylic nail asmr era, be careful you don't trigger your own asmr diagnosis, Ambie!

**edit i just saw someone else already posted about the lighting, mb!

 

[Peepeekakaland]

Bitch can't even pretend to work , her second keyboard is a pink apple magic I slowed down enhanced and tracked her fat mittens just out of curiosity, she's typing literal nonsense I don't even want to include the text cause it's gibberish and tracking that fat hand is difficult even when slowed down but incase anyone's interested in that 9 second clip I could track down the text : ION DY BECAUSE I WACT PEOPLE TO BE LE TO GO THEIR OO

 

[Holy T_Rex]

I love how she can keep a somewhat normal walking speed when going straight but as soon as she needs to make a turn she has to awkwardly stop her momentum and walk on the spot, she also keeps flaying her arms, probably because her body is basically autistic

It's because she has a gravitational pull of her own, she has to spin on her axis to turn

 

[Free Range Grass]

I'm sad that this is the most exicitng thing Porky can produce but I am also greatly amused by how she's a toddler pretending to be an adult.

 

[KittiestKitty]

Her newest video doesn't feel like a "My day" video. Seems like role-playing to me. But then again, everything Amber does that is supposed to be things adults do she makes it look performative. Perpetually 6 years old.

 

[Flaw Peacock]

I love how she can keep a somewhat normal walking speed when going straight but as soon as she needs to make a turn she has to awkwardly stop her momentum and walk on the spot

The only human being alive who operates on tank controls.

 

[Insulin reid]

She's clearly just copying content that she's seen online about working from home and how she finds that content 'asfeticllyyyy pleeeesun', it'll just be her scrolling farms and reddits about herself, writing comments on her clacky keyboard on her sock accounts and filing sooooo many defamayshuuuun and slaaaandurr lawsuits to reaction channels. Absolutely ridiculous that she's trying to take legitimate content that other people make about their lifestyle and try to act like she's a productive, work-focused, girlboss kween!!! She's switching out keyboards for her main account and sock account so people don't find out who she really is...
Proceeds to then eat god knows how much crap.

I fucking knew it, God damn shes a sad creature.
I think shes trying to give us the impression she doesnt need us, shes done what we think she couldn't -
Gotten a stay at home job from the adult real time of 2pm to 9pm.

Shes probably editing videos and YouTube is still her "job". Im getting the exaggerated story "my dad stole a laptop from a court" feeling about this.

This is probably the most "impressive" of Porkahontas' skills.
The ability to just press pause, disappear, come back and not show a single milligram of betterment, change, improvement, or anything at all.
Then she just presses record again and fatrolls ahead like before.
What a life.

I dont know why anyone would expect amber to change much. Her usual moves are just capitalize on drama for the check, then leave till everyones collective fish brain memory forgets the drama and she starts back at phase one.

Her newest video doesn't feel like a "My day" video. Seems like role-playing to me. But then again, everything Amber does that is supposed to be things adults do she makes it look performative. Perpetually 6 years old.

Shes just coming back from a long break this is usually the start of her new journey. I bet she will alledge its her new routine and that shes transformed like some fat caterpillar thats now really just a fat butterfly. We should believe her because she showed us a weird temu quality"my day" video and she drank coffee so thats how you know its serious. Shes gotta be energized.

Shes probably got a bunch of videos lined up, cause what the fuck else is she gonna do and shes gonna use a backlog of bullshit to pad a routine since shes not doing messy livestreams anymore.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Had a look to see what the gorls are saying in the comments...

 

[lol cow supreme]

Ah, the classic 2-9 shift. America is known for its 7 hour work from home days.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

I totally got a job guize... Can't tolk, gotta work.

 

[Baking Muffins]

I can’t think of a single remote job (customer-service, data entry, editing?) that I would trust her to do.

I do hope she’s not just LARPing and actually got a job so we can see her eventually get fired or rage quit. It would add some excitement to her boring life/channel.

 

[Anne Boleyn]

I can’t think of a single remote job (customer-service, data entry, editing?) that I would trust her to do.

I do hope she’s not just LARPing and actually got a job so we can see her eventually get fired or rage quit. It would add some excitement to her boring life/channel.

Her "job" is as real as the post office I ran when I was 7.

 

[Insulin reid]

I can’t think of a single remote job (customer-service, data entry, editing?) that I would trust her to do.

I do hope she’s not just LARPing and actually got a job so we can see her eventually get fired or rage quit. It would add some excitement to her boring life/channel.

If she has a real job its data entry or some stay at home bullshit her mom vouched for her to get. Ambers real jobs have always been pity work thrown at her by people around her swearing up and down the poor girl just needs a chance like some dollar store nepo baby.

It will be short lived anyway as amber is a disaster and the stay at home part would guarantee we wouldnt even get water cooler gossip.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

If- and that's a big (BIG?!) if- she actually does have a true and honest job... how long will it last? She claimed she had to quit her Top Secret Government Job she had in the Dusty era because sitting around typing all day was too sore on her back (or some other nonsense) and she was a far skinnier and more mobile queen than she is now...

 

[Ramma Lamma Dingdong]

I know that jobs like online customer service for companies like Amazon can be done from home, but usually require several weeks of in-person training.

Also - to be blunt: she has been self employed for most of her adult life. Entry level positions usually dismiss these applications because they are under & over qualified at the same time. These types of hires often don't work out - either they struggle being told what to do, believe themselves to be more skilled than they are because their coworkers are all young or lifetime under-preformers, or because they overreach and get in the way trying to "fix" things instead of doing the job they were hired to do.

It's a hard sell, and I'm not buying it. She doesn't have any qualifications - she doesn't even edit her own videos. An 18 year old blank slate has a better chance of landing ANY position Amber might qualify for, simply by not having any job history at all. I'd be way more likely to buy this shit if she was LARPING a job at a grocery store. Cashier-lynn needs to clock the fuck in, her reasonable-accommodation stool awaits.

I'm sure she made more money off the views on that short then she'd have made it 8 hours in the office anyways.

 

[Flan Pwincess]

INB4 she makes some fake-ass Instagram Q&A post answering her own question about how this "job" is just her writing her life's memoir.