🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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TheMonkeyMan said:
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Somewhere out there, Louise Mensch is laughing her druggie ass off.
 
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I hate to reign in the :optimistic: , but he's been due to report to do his stretch on 26 June for the longest time. He's still doing his best to cover all the alt-right news that's fit to be retweeted for his 8 patrons contributing $70 towards his Paul-Joseph-Watson-Wannabe fund.

If there is something fishy about his status after the 26th, then we might have a Will Bresch / William Charles Bresch / The KING of South Florida Talent on our hands, but in the meantime you will definitely want to sell any stocks you have in Arby's before that date.
 
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It should come as no surprise that if you blow off those alcohol devices, they just assume you've been drinking.

What is it with lolcows and turning tiny minor shit into huge crimes? All he had to do was not drink, but now he's joining the same Loser's Club as Bresch and Benjamin Barber.
 
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Gook Choy said:
He's going to do six months in county and that ain't shit. State and Federal Pens are the shiv and rape factories. Besides, he violated his parole by drinking most likely. If anything, this nigga needs AA and a treadmill.
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He might have fucked that up by violating his parole agreement, though. In that case, he could end up doing more than a year and get sent upstate. It could be they don't give much of a fuck though and just tack on another month or so for some summary contempt thing. Unless they've served him with something already and he's blown it off, which doesn't seem to be the case, I don't think he's in for failure to appear unless he actually fails to appear.
 
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I come from a law enforcement family, but I've never heard of someone having a prison sentence scheduled for a later date like a doctor's appointment. I was under the impression once you're convicted and sentenced they just take you straight to the facility. Can any law-inclined Kiwis please explain to me why Ralph is on his honor to appear for his stint in the pokey?
 
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Replicant Sasquatch said:
I come from a law enforcement family, but I've never heard of someone having a prison sentence scheduled for a later date like a doctor's appointment. I was under the impression once you're convicted and sentenced they just take you straight to the facility. Can any law-inclined Kiwis please explain to me why Ralph is on his honor to appear for his stint in the pokey?
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You can sometimes get a bond while you're appealing a case, although some people choose to start serving their time sooner especially if they're only appealing the length.

I've certainly seen them schedule a sentence for some time in the future, although I don't know how common it is. Maybe it's a crowding thing. There's really no huge urgency about some bullshit six month sentence, though. I've also seen them let people serve their time just on the weekends and stuff like that so they can keep their jobs. Once I worked at a convenience store and most of my co-workers were inmates for various petty crimes. The manager liked hiring these people because they were actually thrilled to be there and not in jail.
 
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AnOminous said:
You can sometimes get a bond while you're appealing a case, although some people choose to start serving their time sooner especially if they're only appealing the length.
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If this is the case then Ralph's fugitive status is that much funnier. I really hope bounty hunters start going after him.
 
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AnOminous said:
You can sometimes get a bond while you're appealing a case, although some people choose to start serving their time sooner especially if they're only appealing the length.

I've certainly seen them schedule a sentence for some time in the future, although I don't know how common it is. Maybe it's a crowding thing. There's really no huge urgency about some bullshit six month sentence, though. I've also seen them let people serve their time just on the weekends and stuff like that so they can keep their jobs. Once I worked at a convenience store and most of my co-workers were inmates for various petty crimes. The manager liked hiring these people because they were actually thrilled to be there and not in jail.
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Even if he manages to stay in a local jail and not get his sentence upgraded to a prison actual real criminals who've killed people and are awaiting trial will be happy to teach him his place in the pecking order.
 
DrJonesHat said:
Even if he manages to stay in a local jail and not get his sentence upgraded to a prison actual real criminals who've killed people and are awaiting trial will be happy to teach him his place in the pecking order.
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Nobody except a lolcow wants to turn their piddling little six months in jail into a serious felony. They might smack him if he mouths off, but I otherwise don't see much happening to him.
 
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AnOminous said:
You can sometimes get a bond while you're appealing a case, although some people choose to start serving their time sooner especially if they're only appealing the length.

I've certainly seen them schedule a sentence for some time in the future, although I don't know how common it is. Maybe it's a crowding thing. There's really no huge urgency about some bullshit six month sentence, though. I've also seen them let people serve their time just on the weekends and stuff like that so they can keep their jobs. Once I worked at a convenience store and most of my co-workers were inmates for various petty crimes. The manager liked hiring these people because they were actually thrilled to be there and not in jail.
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Pretty sure in some places if you cut a deal you can self report at a later date.
 
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