Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

This guy popped up in my LinkedIn, just because he was connected to a guy I used to buy art supplies from: Conner Evans. He seems to have a bit in common with OPL, in the sense that he has the 'tism and has created an entire world that consists of a blending of original creations with popular video game characters and ripped-off Family Guy jokes. What exactly he hopes to achieve with it seems to be shrouded in autism.

From his website:


He says he's been working on this project of his for nine years. At least this one manages to hold a job while trying to achieve his dream.

He also has a YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/GiantSunoftheGalaxy

ETA: Here's a sample:

I have to admit, the voice acting is surprisingly good, even if the writing is a ripoff of Family Guy/Robot Chicken.
 
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In my sixth grade class there was this kid named Griffon. I remember in class when we had some creative writing assignment where we had to make up an original short story. I write mine, it's, you know, written at a sixth grade level and not all that good. Then I look at Griffon's, and it's "Pokemon trainer Griffon who wax the koolist ever n had charzard an mew and was in new yourk. And then he looked up and there was Spider-Man! And spidrmans "Pokemon trainer Griffon, we need to stop team rocket!" And Griffon told all hiz Pokemon to go with Spider-Man!"
I'm not kidding, he wrote a bad fan-fic for a graded assignment. I kinda wonder where he is now. I hope that he grew out of his weird loser stage, but I kinda suspect he may show up as a lolcow.

Oh god oh god oh god I knew a guy like this in a creative writing class I took in college!!

His name was Zach, I think? In retrospect (this was six years ago at least...) I think he had some form of autism so I am probably a shitty person for this. But anyway... Zach was in a sophomore-level creative writing class and we had to exchange stories via emails and critique them. Zach always wrote awful, preteen-like stories despite being at least twenty, probably older. I don't remember most of these, I wish I'd saved them because they were so gloriously bad. Worse than Sonichu bad. One story involved a 'playa' kid called 'Drexl' getting his ass kicked by a troupe of kung-fu schoolgirls and then getting saved by his one true love. But the best/worst of all was a story about some samurai shipwrecking on a lost forest island inhabited by dinosaurs, cowboys, and Indians. They all had a war and I think dinosaurs ate everyone. It was truly terrible.

He got nothing but overall bad feedback, even from the gentlest in the class. He actually cried in class when he was reading them.

He also was Chris-like in that he tried to hit awkwardly on all the girls in class and smelled so bad that no one wanted to sit anywhere near him and one day a poor soul who was too close ended up getting violently sick. He tried to cover up with AXE too...
 
I've been thinking about posting about some Russian lolcows featured on Russian version of ED, Lurkmore.ru, but I don't think it will be interesting enough for you. Should I do it?
Go ahead. Not only are they lolcows, but they're foreign lolcows, so everything they do is even more incomprehensible and bizarre. Plus, it's Russia, everyone is insane there, so a person who insane Russian people think is insane is going to be really fucking insane to us!
 
Go ahead. Not only are they lolcows, but they're foreign lolcows, so everything they do is even more incomprehensible and bizarre. Plus, it's Russia, everyone is insane there, so a person who insane Russian people think is insane is going to be really fucking insane to us!
To be honest, the amount of genuinely crazy and autistic people among Russian lolcows is rather low compared to American ones.
 
To be honest, the amount of genuinely crazy and autistic people among Russian lolcows is rather low compared to American ones.
Really? Damn. Is it because all the autistics get eaten by feral dogs or roving gangs of Road Warrior bandits, or is it because any craziness gets beaten out of them? Or is it just because Russians are so just so crazy drunken badass that their most pathetic members of society are more impressive then ours? Or is it something boring like limited Internet access?
 
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Here's one interesting person featured on Lurkmore.ru - Yarovrat (Яроврат), real name Владимир Фролов (Vladimir Frolov). He used to a very notable person in the Russian Livejournal community around 2005-2009. Judging by how LJ is more popular in Russia than anywhere else, I'll simply call it the Livejournal community.

Yarovrat IRL:

Yarowrath.jpg

He was known for his rather... interesting political, religious and philosophical views (generally of extreme right wing, anti-Semitic variety). The Lurkmore article perfectly sums their weirdness:
Yarovrat is the sole leader of the Monolith - a "sect of astral stalkers". In its manifesto, written by Emergent-1's pen itself, national bias are rejected; racial conflicts take priority. On the other hand, the discourse of the Russian Horde decisively united cosmic satanofascism, orthodox Christian patriotism, as well as Soviet judeoinfernal communism of ziggurats and centipedes. Yarovrat's involvement was suspected in the memorable event of the explosion of Azagh-Tot's monument in St. Petersburg...
[...]
Beginning from 2005, the Prophet (Yarovrat's nickname among people following his escapades) has been promoting drug abuse, sobriety, Russian nationalism, the breakup of Russia, anti-Slavic Nordic pan-Europeanism, reading Yuri Petukhov's works, religious devotion to Stalin, universal transition to political near-gaming fantasy, rejection of Kenoma's temptations, etc. Ideas that were promoted by Yarovrat before which were discarded are innumerable. Around 2008, Yarovrat started to promote the Putin's Plan, technogenic Islam, monotheism and regular prayers to the chitin angels of emergence.

Yarovrat has invented the chronotronic chaotizer, the neuromantic amplifier, the enchanted kriegsfliegel, the necrodemonical armour of Chaos and numerous other blasphemous pagan devices...

Yarovrat was known to frequently consume LSD, which explains the true origin of his works. He's also a fan of Warhammer 40k and Lovecraft's works. Also, he's gay.

His posts were extremely popular in the LJ community because of their sheer insanity. He defended his views and started arguments with people, culminating in a real-life duel with one similarly exceptional user "massel_93", which ended in Yarovrat's defeat and Massel's sudden death shortly after the duel concluded - it was attributed by Yarovrat's followers to Monolith's dark magic. It also resulted in Yarovrat's blog being spammed by photos of cute kittens after some troll's call to cheer Yarovrat up. He didn't find it funny, deleted all kitten photos, banned everyone responsible from commenting in his blog, got into a fight with some neo-Nazi guy who posted kitten pics and got his ass handed over to him.

Yarovrat's antics are too numerous to list here, so learn Russian if you want to read about them (you'll have to deal with the Russian occupation administration later on anyway) or use Google Translate (which will fuck up the text due to the specific slang used on Lurkmore.ru).

Here are his quotes and terms, some of which has become memetic among people following his antics:
  • Infernorealism
  • Ebzychestvo, dolboslavie (hard to translate into English, my variants are "Fuckopaganism" and "Orthodongxy" - derogatory terms for neo-Pagan sects)
  • National-homosexualism (all gays are dominantly far-right, not a derogatory term; relevant quote attributed to Yarovrat or some of his followers - "Fight for Chaos - fuck in the ass!")
  • Anal orgasm and Pagan gods
  • Satanocrators (chtonic creatures seeking to establish Satanocracy - it's also not a derogatory term!)
  • "The article is fundamental - promotion is welcome"
  • "Kill for El Dorado!"
  • "Jew Demon! Get out of Russia!"
  • "Emergate, everyone" or "Emergate!"
  • "His nationalism is a nationalism of missiles. His magic is practical magic. His vector is aggression"
  • "That's right. The chtonic elder gods will return in the guise of titanoplastic armour-wearing satanocrats, shaking their mechanized cyborgified tentacles and soaking in waterfalls of deadly radiation. Listen those who can hear and see those who can see - the Dark Singularity is coming!"
  • "This is a chronotronic divine technology, available for comprehension only for the few"
  • "I remind everyone again that I'm not homophobic. I even considered declaring myself homosexual once, but it will be a desecration, because I don't have homosexual experience, and we are fighting desecrations"
  • "That's how the cult of Chaos was replaced by the cult of Demi-Urgos and his archonts. If we want to defeat this cult, we should refer to the most archaic and hyper-insane cults of the Goddess, while incorporating psyker women into our ranks. We are interested not in ordinary women, but in women of a definite witch-cryptolesbian type"
  • "[Yarovrat's blog] used to be a site of the Technocratic Party, we used to discuss the ways to win the 2004 and 2008 presidential elections with its Fuhrer. He used to threaten someone on KPRF.Ru (the official site of the Communist Party of Russian Federation), that his party would gather an army of robots in secret bunkers and storm the Kremlin"
etc.
 
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I have to admit, the voice acting is surprisingly good, even if the writing is a ripoff of Family Guy/Robot Chicken.

He also ripped off The Simpsons on at least one drawing.
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Chris had a huge seizure when he was childhood in Christmas 1997 during watching japanese version of banned episode of Pokemon in Japan.
 
Here's one interesting person featured on Lurkmore.ru - Yarovrat (Яроврат), real name Владимир Фролов (Vladimir Frolov). He used to a very notable person in the Russian Livejournal community around 2005-2009. Judging by how LJ is more popular in Russia than anywhere else, I'll simply call it the Livejournal community.

Yarovrat IRL:

Yarowrath.jpg

He was known for his rather... interesting political, religious and philosophical views (generally of extreme right wing, anti-Semitic variety). The Lurkmore article perfectly sums their weirdness:


Yarovrat was known to frequently consume LSD, which explains the true origin of his works. He's also a fan of Warhammer 40k and Lovecraft's works. Also, he's gay.

His posts were extremely popular in the LJ community because of their sheer insanity. He defended his views and started arguments with people, culminating in a real-life duel with one similarly exceptional user "massel_93", which ended in Yarovrat's defeat and Massel's sudden death shortly after the duel concluded - it was attributed by Yarovrat's followers to Monolith's dark magic. It also resulted in Yarovrat's blog being spammed by photos of cute kittens after some troll's call to cheer Yarovrat up. He didn't find it funny, deleted all kitten photos, banned everyone responsible from commenting in his blog, got into a fight with some neo-Nazi guy who posted kitten pics and got his ass handed over to him.

Yarovrat's antics are too numerous to list here, so learn Russian if you want to read about them (you'll have to deal with the Russian occupation administration later on anyway) or use Google Translate (which will fuck up the text due to the specific slang used on Lurkmore.ru).

Here are his quotes and terms, some of which has become memetic among people following his antics:
  • Infernorealism
  • Ebzychestvo, dolboslavie (hard to translate into English, my variants are "Fuckopaganism" and "Orthodongxy" - derogatory terms for neo-Pagan sects)
  • National-homosexualism (all gays are dominantly far-right, not a derogatory term; relevant quote attributed to Yarovrat or some of his followers - "Fight for Chaos - fuck in the ass!")
  • Anal orgasm and Pagan gods
  • Satanocrators (chtonic creatures seeking to establish Satanocracy - it's also not a derogatory term!)
  • "The article is fundamental - promotion is welcome"
  • "Kill for El Dorado!"
  • "Jew Demon! Get out of Russia!"
  • "Emergate, everyone" or "Emergate!"
  • "His nationalism is a nationalism of missiles. His magic is practical magic. His vector is aggression"
  • "That's right. The chtonic elder gods will return in the guise of titanoplastic armour-wearing satanocrats, shaking their mechanized cyborgified tentacles and soaking in waterfalls of deadly radiation. Listen those who can hear and see those who can see - the Dark Singularity is coming!"
  • "This is a chronotronic divine technology, available for comprehension only for the few"
  • "I remind everyone again that I'm not homophobic. I even considered declaring myself homosexual once, but it will be a desecration, because I don't have homosexual experience, and we are fighting desecrations"
  • "That's how the cult of Chaos was replaced by the cult of Demi-Urgos and his archonts. If we want to defeat this cult, we should refer to the most archaic and hyper-insane cults of the Goddess, while incorporating psyker women into our ranks. We are interested not in ordinary women, but in women of a definite witch-cryptolesbian type"
  • "[Yarovrat's blog] has used to be a site of the Technocratic Party, we used to discuss the ways to win the 2004 and 2008 presidential elections with its Fuhrer. He used to threaten someone on KPRF.Ru (the official site of the Communist Party of Russian Federation - Guardian G.I.), that his party would gather an army of robots in secret bunkers and storm the Kremlin"
etc.
I was right. Russian lolcows are even more fucking insane than US lolcows. When I read the phrase "Jew Demon" I immediately thought of a dude in a cheap looking devil costume standing around hell with a pitchfork and saying in the stereotypical New York Jew accent "What's with all the fire and brimstone all the times? Would it kill them to redecorate this place, or change up the theme, or just get some AC?"
 
I don't know if this person has been posted somewhere else on this forum but OH MY GOD.

An otherkin who identifies as the "planet" Pluto.
Triggers include referring to Pluto as if it is not a planet, Disney's Hercules, ugly people (???), gravity and the metric system. I'm a little skeptical that it might be a troll. After reading through their posts though, it seems like it would have to be pretty elaborate.
 
This guy popped up in my LinkedIn, just because he was connected to a guy I used to buy art supplies from: Conner Evans. He seems to have a bit in common with OPL, in the sense that he has the 'tism and has created an entire world that consists of a blending of original creations with popular video game characters and ripped-off Family Guy jokes. What exactly he hopes to achieve with it seems to be shrouded in autism.

From his website:


He says he's been working on this project of his for nine years. At least this one manages to hold a job while trying to achieve his dream.

He also has a YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/GiantSunoftheGalaxy

ETA: Here's a sample:

I'm slightly worried that this guy is related to my landlord...
 
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