Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Squanto Airi]

Am I asexual if I genuinely prefer cuddling to sex most of the time? It's something that torpedoed my last relationship, to the point that she wanted me to watch porn to "get comfortable with having sex" ( she was also into CNC and wanted me to make advances randomly. That's how I learned what that meant, and I felt pressured to be really assertive when I didn't want to be).

It's not that I'm adverse to sex, I just think its something I don't see as the ultimate point of a relationship. She often said there's no difference between friends and partners other than sex, which I disagree with deeply since I feel like a gf is someone you're willing to trust much more than a friend. She also once insinuated that cuddling was "childish" which really hurt. What isn't childish then, rape porn?

Ultimately all this is why we broke up, she thinks I should work on my sex problem but in all honesty I feel like I don't have one as much as just wanting something different? Idk

That just sounds like she's pornbrained. I dont think there's anything wrong with wanting intimacy via cuddling.

 

[31 Black]

All of these are extremely subjective.
Ask this same question, but of men, and I think you'll see the issue with your question.
In general I would say most people worth keeping around appreciate honesty, loyalty, time, attention and effort.
---Communication really is key. Be open, be honest, and find someone who is open and honest with you.
Simple as.

Subjectivity certainly makes it hard, but I'm curious if there is some common through line. But yes, I see your point.
Can confirm communication is key; it's why some of my past relationships fell apart. Simple as.

I think you could mostly answers these for men pretty easily, but women are all pretty different. There are only a few things most women agree on, so I will try to guess with those:

Thanks for these. I think I do well with most of those. I'd like to think I'm a decent provider, cook, and baker, but how do I convey this without seeming like a bragadotious douche?

1. When you fix her computer
2. Buy her a big wheel of cheese
3. Transphobia

It's me, I'm women.

It's going great. Coming up on a big relationship anniversary with the transphobic man of my dreams this year. I'm hoping for a wheel of parmigiano reggiano to commemorate the occasion, but I'll take a nice sharp cheddar.

Why not a block of Havarti or wedge of Manchego?

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Am I asexual if I genuinely prefer cuddling to sex most of the time? It's something that torpedoed my last relationship, to the point that she wanted me to watch porn to "get comfortable with having sex" ( she was also into CNC and wanted me to make advances randomly. That's how I learned what that meant, and I felt pressured to be really assertive when I didn't want to be).

It's not that I'm adverse to sex, I just think its something I don't see as the ultimate point of a relationship. She often said there's no difference between friends and partners other than sex, which I disagree with deeply since I feel like a gf is someone you're willing to trust much more than a friend. She also once insinuated that cuddling was "childish" which really hurt. What isn't childish then, rape porn?

Ultimately all this is why we broke up, she thinks I should work on my sex problem but in all honesty I feel like I don't have one as much as just wanting something different? Idk

Some people have VASTLY different sex drives, and those drives change throughout life. I highly doubt that you're asexual. And if I am bei g frank she sounds VERY coom brained and porn pilled. It could also be a chemistry issue. You might have pair well with her and genuinely liked her but on a biological/pheromonal level, just didn't match.

I would, just as a precaution, get a full panel and hormonal blood work done. If you are below 45 and genuinely healthy, you should have a decent sex drive. Thst being said, life isnt like a porno and sex isn't this big thing. Its nice, sure, but there are some days I'd rather just snuggle on the couch and play snake eater and eat pretzels or something then make sex the highlight of my day.

 

[sperginity]

Thanks for these. I think I do well with most of those. I'd like to think I'm a decent provider, cook, and baker, but how do I convey this without seeming like a bragadotious douche?

give away some baked goods. If you want it to be low-pressure you could bring some to mixed sex groups, or you could have a bunch of small portions that you give to people that are your friends in addition to women you like. word will get around & people are so thrilled to get things for free they don't usually even care if you brag. If you like someone at a place where it is appropriate to host a pot luck (like work, or church, etc) that's always an option, too. There is really no downside to either thing except the monetary cost, everyone will like you more if you give them food.

 

[The Stranger]

Am I asexual if I genuinely prefer cuddling to sex most of the time? It's something that torpedoed my last relationship, to the point that she wanted me to watch porn to "get comfortable with having sex" ( she was also into CNC and wanted me to make advances randomly. That's how I learned what that meant, and I felt pressured to be really assertive when I didn't want to be).

It's not that I'm adverse to sex, I just think its something I don't see as the ultimate point of a relationship. She often said there's no difference between friends and partners other than sex, which I disagree with deeply since I feel like a gf is someone you're willing to trust much more than a friend. She also once insinuated that cuddling was "childish" which really hurt. What isn't childish then, rape porn?

Ultimately all this is why we broke up, she thinks I should work on my sex problem but in all honesty I feel like I don't have one as much as just wanting something different? Idk

Your ex sounds a little coombrained but you also sound low T. I know what it's like feeling like your partner wants way more sex than you but that was with a girl who wanted it 3+ times a day. If your lady is literally THIRSTING for it and you can't even bend her over the kitchen counter every now and then you got problems bro.

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

2. pay enough attention and listen well enough to anticipate what she wants.

is this something women do for each other or do you only expect it from your partner?

 

[Squanto Airi]

Your ex sounds a little coombrained but you also sound low T. I know what it's like feeling like your partner wants way more sex than you but that was with a girl who wanted it 3+ times a day. If your lady is literally THIRSTING for it and you can't even bend her over the kitchen counter every now and then you got problems bro.

Well if she was into CNC, that's a whole different ballgame, and I don't blame him for not making advances. I don't trust anyone with a rape fetish

 

[31 Black]

give away some baked goods. If you want it to be low-pressure you could bring some to mixed sex groups, or you could have a bunch of small portions that you give to people that are your friends in addition to women you like. word will get around & people are so thrilled to get things for free they don't usually even care if you brag. If you like someone at a place where it is appropriate to host a pot luck (like work, or church, etc) that's always an option, too. There is really no downside to either thing except the monetary cost, everyone will like you more if you give them food.

Good news is I do bring baked goods to a tavern I frequent for some of the staff and any other regulars that come in, and they are always happy to receive (someone, likely staff, covered my lunch cost one time.) Romantic interests there or not, it makes me happy seeing them happy.

Thanks for this.

 

[Fishnumm]

more of a question than advice lol

i know most foids dont like guns but do any of the kiwi ones have a favorite gun

my favorite gun is the p90 it looks fucking rad

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

is this something women do for each other or do you only expect it from your partner?

I heard a coworker say she loves sloths, so next time I was at the bookstore I saw this cute sloth notebook on sale and bought it for her. I've had other women do similar stuff for me before. It's normal.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

more of a question than advice lol

i know most foids dont like guns but do any of the kiwi ones have a favorite gun

my favorite gun is the p90 it looks fucking rad
View attachment 8807320

The greatest handgun ever made. The Colt Single Action Army. Six bullets... More than enough to kill anything that moves.

But answering seriously now, I do appreciate a good revolver and own several in single action and double action and different calibers. I have a cheapo hi-point carbine that's built to look like a Beretta CX4 Storm which despite what purists say online is very fun to shoot. My current favorite conceal carry is the Springfield Hellcat. Its a fantastic gun for women due to its slim grip. 9mm is on the low end for self defense but decent with shot placement. The magazine is double stacked up to 15 rounds so you have ample lead to mag dump if needed.

 

[Fishnumm]

The greatest handgun ever made. The Colt Single Action Army. Six bullets... More than enough to kill anything that moves.

But answering seriously now, I do appreciate a good revolver and own several in single action and double action and different calibers. I have a cheapo hi-point carbine that's built to look like a Beretta CX4 Storm which despite what purists say online is very fun to shoot. My current favorite conceal carry is the Springfield Hellcat. Its a fantastic gun for women due to its slim grip. 9mm is on the low end for self defense but decent with shot placement. The magazine is double stacked up to 15 rounds so you have ample lead to mag dump if needed.

the cx4 storm is a cool carbine i shot one once

 

[crazedaze]

Am I asexual if I genuinely prefer cuddling to sex most of the time? It's something that torpedoed my last relationship, to the point that she wanted me to watch porn to "get comfortable with having sex" ( she was also into CNC and wanted me to make advances randomly. That's how I learned what that meant, and I felt pressured to be really assertive when I didn't want to be).

It's not that I'm adverse to sex, I just think its something I don't see as the ultimate point of a relationship. She often said there's no difference between friends and partners other than sex, which I disagree with deeply since I feel like a gf is someone you're willing to trust much more than a friend. She also once insinuated that cuddling was "childish" which really hurt. What isn't childish then, rape porn?

Ultimately all this is why we broke up, she thinks I should work on my sex problem but in all honesty I feel like I don't have one as much as just wanting something different? Idk

Honestly, so many goddamn men over 35 are sexually fucked up, so you're not alone. I think it's the daily jorkin' it and the autoeroticism.
You work on it sincerely, or you become single and next time you advertise upfront that you don't like or want sex and find someone asexual like you, because as any relationship advice you'll ever read will tell you: sex is extremely important.

 

[31 Black]

The greatest handgun ever made. The Colt Single Action Army. Six bullets... More than enough to kill anything that moves.

But answering seriously now, I do appreciate a good revolver and own several in single action and double action and different calibers. I have a cheapo hi-point carbine that's built to look like a Beretta CX4 Storm which despite what purists say online is very fun to shoot. My current favorite conceal carry is the Springfield Hellcat. Its a fantastic gun for women due to its slim grip. 9mm is on the low end for self defense but decent with shot placement. The magazine is double stacked up to 15 rounds so you have ample lead to mag dump if needed.

I've heard Hi-Point carbines are pretty good, but they jam if you use second market magazines.
If you're happy with 9mm, stick with it, but I found recently that .380ACP has controllable recoil even from a 3" barrel, even with my big mitts.

 

[ScarletDevil]

If your lady is literally THIRSTING for it and you can't even bend her over the kitchen counter every now and then you got problems bro.

That's the thing, this feels like something that only happens in porn
I'd rather be passive than r@pe someone I love. Even if it's a roleplay thing just... doing it feels kind of nonconsenting

so many goddamn men over 35 are sexually fucked up, so you're not alone.

I'm 22 lmao

 

[corvuscorax]

Am I asexual if I genuinely prefer cuddling to sex most of the time? It's something that torpedoed my last relationship, to the point that she wanted me to watch porn to "get comfortable with having sex" ( she was also into CNC and wanted me to make advances randomly. That's how I learned what that meant, and I felt pressured to be really assertive when I didn't want to be).

It's not that I'm adverse to sex, I just think its something I don't see as the ultimate point of a relationship. She often said there's no difference between friends and partners other than sex, which I disagree with deeply since I feel like a gf is someone you're willing to trust much more than a friend. She also once insinuated that cuddling was "childish" which really hurt. What isn't childish then, rape porn?

Ultimately all this is why we broke up, she thinks I should work on my sex problem but in all honesty I feel like I don't have one as much as just wanting something different? Idk

You're not asexual if you experience a sex drive. Your ex is fucking insane, holy shit. You don't need to want to "smash that box" (as our dear ooperator would put it) 24/7 to be considered normal. Wanting to cuddle is perfectly fine and a lot of women would be extremely happy with that. You can want intimacy without having sex without having that be labeled as "weak", "childish" or whatever other bullshit they're going to call you in a desperate attempt to get what they want.
Do not let porn addicted retards destroy your perception of reality just because theirs' is horrendously warped beyond repair.

 

[crazedaze]

That's the thing, this feels like something that only happens in porn
I'd rather be passive than r@pe someone I love. Even if it's a roleplay thing just... doing it feels kind of nonconsenting


I'm 22 lmao

Not sure why that's a lmao... that's really fuckin sad but also, typical
Lmao
Eta I'm not sure why the thread consensus is WOW SHE SEEMS LIKE A CRAZY RAPEPORN ADDICT and why you're talking about nonconsent when, on reading your op, it seems clear that at 22 you'd rather have sex basically never and have already lost a relationship because of it. Just date someone with the same needs as you, no need to demonize someone for wanting sum fuck in their life just because you don't.

 

[corvuscorax]

Not sure why that's a lmao... that's really fuckin sad but also, typical
Lmao
Eta I'm not sure why the thread consensus is WOW SHE SEEMS LIKE A CRAZY RAPEPORN ADDICT and why you're talking about nonconsent when, on reading your op, it seems clear that at 22 you'd rather have sex basically never and have already lost a relationship because of it. Just date someone with the same needs as you, no need to demonize someone for wanting sum fuck in their life just because you don't.

I called her crazy because she's insulting him for having different needs, calling him "childish".
I don't think its normal for someone to keep pushing their partner to engage in sexual activities they clearly seem uncomfortable with.
With the information we were provided, this feels like she was being pushy in a way that any of us would find inappropriate.
Always could be more to the story, so sure, I could be way off, always willing to admit when I'm wrong.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

That's the thing, this feels like something that only happens in porn

Sex bent over a counter or table? No, it's not. But I'm not talking about CNC, which is a very specific and fairly extreme thing, especially as a specific interest at a quite young age.

I'd rather be passive than r@pe someone I love. Even if it's a roleplay thing just... doing it feels kind of nonconsenting

I think there's a long way between a lively, even crazy, sex life and playing at rape, and a long way between a lively sex life and no/ rare/ only very careful sex. I wonder if she really wanted CNC or just wanted to feel desired but has adopted current-day lingo, which categories and pathologizes everything.

Either way, what you want is what you want. If you don't care for sex, that's OK, but a) maybe seek others with similar perspectives, and also b) don't think that CNC or similar is the only alternative.

 

[lego racers]

more of a question than advice lol

i know most foids dont like guns but do any of the kiwi ones have a favorite gun

my favorite gun is the p90 it looks fucking rad
View attachment 8807320

i like any gun with wood. i could post a lot of attractive guns i prefer more, but when it comes to appearances alone, it's pretty undeniable the Beretta 92 is the best.