Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Kyria the Great]

Nope, not at all. The only exception to this was Roger Ebert, God rest his soul.

Well only a few can make a review feel like it is truly something of their own like Siskel and Ebert with Richard Roeper as well. We can also throw in RLM but aside from that, most are truly sort of like parasites of varying degrees.

 

[Positron]

[Predator dissertation]

You see, Bobby, a joke is supposed to be brief, succinct, and hit the point in the bullseye -- like a Trump tweet. What you've spewed is not a joke; it is autism.

He's a "movie critic" too fucking lazy and/or stupid to even use imdb.

Harry Styles is in Dunkirk. But the snag is that movie is too adult for him.

 

[Boss HM-2]

I find it funny how people like Bob and the woke San Fransisco indie dev crew took Ebert's opinion on video games not being inherently art very personally and took it to mean "we must get rid of schlock and objectification is the worst sin video games made" despite the facts that:

• Ebert gave a lot of trashy shit good reviews because he tried to put himself in the mind of the target audience and see if they would enjoy it.
• He personally wrote the screenplay to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, one of the trashiest, schlockiest films ever made.
• He would regularly give films a higher score than they would normally deserve simply because said films had nude scenes featuring some actress with great tits.

Ebert was right about video games btw

 

[Mola Ram]

Harry Styles is in Dunkirk. But the snag is that movie is too adult for him.

Oooooooh I forgot Ze Blob hates Nolan as much as Dobson does. His review of Dunkirk is going to be a hoot.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

I find it funny how people like Bob and the woke San Fransisco indie dev crew took Ebert's opinion on video games not being inherently art very personally and took it to mean "we must get rid of schlock and objectification is the worst sin video games made" despite the facts that:

• Ebert gave a lot of trashy shit good reviews because he tried to put himself in the mind of the target audience and see if they would enjoy it.
• He personally wrote the screenplay to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, one of the trashiest, schlockiest films ever made.
• He would regularly give films a higher score than they would normally deserve simply because said films had nude scenes featuring some actress with great tits.

Ebert was right about video games btw

Thing is, Beyond went on to become a cult classic and was praised by critics at the time. Ebert knew exactly what he was doing.

What Bob and his kin fail to recognize is that they'll never have the same legacy Ebert did. Instead of dying a well-respected film critic and cult film writer. They'll go down as "Oh, that asshole" or in Bob's case, "Oh, that asshole who made a book comparing video games to real life tragedies".

 

[Mola Ram]

Thing is, Beyond went on to become a cult classic and was praised by critics at the time. Ebert knew exactly what he was doing.

What Bob and his kin fail to recognize is that they'll never have the same legacy Ebert did. Instead of dying a well-respected film critic and cult film writer. They'll go down as "Oh, that asshole" or in Bob's case, "Oh, that asshole who made a book comparing video games to real life tragedies".

Honestly, at this point the best case scenario for Bob is being remembered as, "Who?"

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Honestly, at this point the best case scenario for Bob is being remembered as, "Who?"

You could say the same for all the others who follow his example, in all honesty.

 

[AnOminous]

I find it funny how people like Bob and the woke San Fransisco indie dev crew took Ebert's opinion on video games not being inherently art very personally and took it to mean "we must get rid of schlock and objectification is the worst sin video games made" despite the facts that:

• Ebert gave a lot of trashy shit good reviews because he tried to put himself in the mind of the target audience and see if they would enjoy it.
• He personally wrote the screenplay to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, one of the trashiest, schlockiest films ever made.
• He would regularly give films a higher score than they would normally deserve simply because said films had nude scenes featuring some actress with great tits.

I don't think he ever just gave good reviews to crap he didn't enjoy on some level. For instance, I liked his positive review of The Devil's Rejects, where he reviewed it as an example of the kind of movie it was and warned the kind of person who'd be freaked out about it not to complain to him if they went to see it and thought it was the most depraved piece of shit they'd ever seen.

He wasn't the kind of semi-academic film critic like Pauline Kael, who reviewed movies as works of art, so much as a consumer reporter, whose reviews let you know whether or not you'd like the movie in question. So whether or not you agreed with his opinion, you knew what kind of movie it was and had a good idea of where it was in quality among that class of film.

With Movieblob, all I know is some guy who chimps out in an ill-informed manner about everything said some shit and maybe he's right, but probably he's wrong because he's an autistic NEET shut-in with a very limited cinematic vocabulary.

 

[Positron]

View attachment 249174

Bob, please, my sides can only take so much today.

He has a talent for misspelling common words.

 

[Gordon Cole]

I find it funny how people like Bob and the woke San Fransisco indie dev crew took Ebert's opinion on video games not being inherently art very personally and took it to mean "we must get rid of schlock and objectification is the worst sin video games made" despite the facts that:

• Ebert gave a lot of trashy shit good reviews because he tried to put himself in the mind of the target audience and see if they would enjoy it.
• He personally wrote the screenplay to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, one of the trashiest, schlockiest films ever made.
• He would regularly give films a higher score than they would normally deserve simply because said films had nude scenes featuring some actress with great tits.

Ebert was right about video games btw

Ebert might have tipped the dominoes that led to Goobergrape. If that's the case, then he's also going down as a master irl troll the likes of which the world rarely sees.

Oooooooh I forgot Ze Blob hates Nolan as much as Dobson does. His review of Dunkirk is going to be a hoot.

Right now on Rotten Tomatoes, Dunkirk's at 97% while his dear Valerian is stuck at 69%. Keep your eyes peeled and fingers crossed for a shitstorm later in the week.

Cause when I think of winners in life, I think of Bob "The Zyklon-B's fumin' if you're subhuman" Chipman:

 

[RockVolnutt]

It's a lolcow crossover!

 

[Kyria the Great]

It's a lolcow crossover!

How sad is it though that Bob looks more exceptional to an An-Cap and race realist?

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

All his movie ideas/reimaginings can be summed up as "the comment man are worthless and shitty while the intellectuals are the TRUE heroes".

Which will play great to an average movie-goer, said common man, I'm sure.

 

[Kyria the Great]

All his movie ideas/reimaginings can be summed up as "the comment man are worthless and shitty while the intellectuals are the TRUE heroes".

Which will play great to an average movie-goer, said common man, I'm sure.

It will score highly with all the Randroids for sure, and in Bob's mind, that is all that matters.

 

[RockVolnutt]

All his movie ideas/reimaginings can be summed up as "the comment man are worthless and shitty while the intellectuals are the TRUE heroes".

Which will play great to an average movie-goer, said common man, I'm sure.

Perhaps this is reading too deep into this but do you think Bob would argue the popularity of using "common man becomes hero" was something the elites came up with to placate the masses (which implies a lot about Bob and also his love of representation) instead of emphasizing their accomplishments? It's line up with his odd understanding of storytelling and his elitist fetish.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Remember "Evil Tom Preston", the parody account that showed what would happen if Dobson was a normal, mature adult who accepted criticism? Brad Jones (The Cinema Snob) is basically Evil Bob Chipman. He's funny, skinny, charismatic, down-to-earth, lives in the Midwest, mature enough to rightfully earn his fanbase and you could listen him talk about movies for hours on end. For example, Bob said that any Republican friends and family members are "stupid", "bad people" and you should "give them no pity or reprieve".

Brad on the other hand...

[...] friendship and family is always more important to me than politics. I’m extremely close with my uncle who is a Trump supporter. I can be a bit of a shit talker online, but it’s mostly geared towards the politicians themselves. Even some of my favorite actors have politics that greatly differ from my own. It doesn’t bother me.

http://reallybradjones.tumblr.com/post/163044104729/weird-question-but-youre-always-my-beacon-of

EDIT: See, he's straight up calling Republican voters stupid again:

 

[AnOminous]

Remember "Evil Tom Preston", the parody account that showed what would happen if Dobson was a normal, mature adult who accepted criticism? Brad Jones (The Cinema Snob) is basically Evil Bob Chipman. He's funny, skinny, charismatic, down-to-earth, lives in the Midwest, mature enough to rightfully earn his fanbase and you could listen him talk about movies for hours on end. For example, Bob said that any Republican friends and family members are "stupid", "bad people" and you should "give them no pity or reprieve".
View attachment 249383

And fuck Bob. This fat autist.

I have plenty of Republican friends and family members, and do you know what kind of people they are? They're good people, often kind and generous. I know a Republican who has the most horrible beliefs I can imagine, and he also has a private plane and has flown refrigerated organs from the donor to the recipient for free for years. What a monster! I'm supposed to hate this guy because his political opinions about abstract shit disagree with mine?

And another is an EMT who saves lives on a daily basis. Also a Republican. Voted for Trump.

And a volunteer fireman who goes into burning buildings every week or so, for no pay, just to save people. Voted for Trump.

I still think they're wrong. I try to chip away at their support for this dumb President. Subtly. Like really mellow deprogramming.

Calling these people who are my friends and family Nazis just because they pulled the wrong lever in a voting booth pisses me the fuck off.

Fuck this fat lardass fascist piece of shit.

 

[Clay Claymore]

I find it funny how people like Bob and the woke San Fransisco indie dev crew took Ebert's opinion on video games not being inherently art very personally and took it to mean "we must get rid of schlock and objectification is the worst sin video games made" despite the facts that:

• Ebert gave a lot of trashy shit good reviews because he tried to put himself in the mind of the target audience and see if they would enjoy it.
• He personally wrote the screenplay to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, one of the trashiest, schlockiest films ever made.
• He would regularly give films a higher score than they would normally deserve simply because said films had nude scenes featuring some actress with great tits.

Ebert was right about video games btw

I actually did not know that about Roger Ebert (god rest his soul). I gonna have to hunt down that movie.

 

[Positron]

Bobby probably imagines his beloved China as Winnie-the-Pooh land:

Who wants to be a Minion if you can be Pepe instead?

 

[Detrogen]

Bobby probably imagines his beloved China as Winnie-the-Pooh land:

View attachment 249471

Much as I like Winnie the Pooh, only Bob would want to be compared to a bumbling oaf who is obsessed with eating a sweet, sugary substance to the point it regularly causes problems for him and his friends.