Containment What If?

I mean like serious crime. Like what if he tried to rob a store or stick some place up?
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No, really. He wouldn't. He's a coward (which, in his favor, may have kept him from doing a lot of dumber things).
 
What if Cole was actually Chris' neglectful father who abandoned Chris with his grandparents?

That would be interesting- Cole knocks some random woman up after getting way, way too drunk and high, then abandons the baby to Borb because he's unwilling to care for a baby. I think that would completely shatter Chris if this was real and he were to discover it. Of course, it would be even worse if it ended up that Cole knocked up Barb after getting beyond blackout drunk. That'd be some real V.C. Andrews-type shit there.
 
What if Chris turns to crime to try to save himself from financial ruin?

He'd become a supervillain who would either age all of the world's men past 50 or send them to an alternate universe, which would make him the lamest supervillain of all time. Even lamer than Stilt-Man. And as lame as he was, even Stilt-Man still got laid. Hell, he had a wife and a daughter.

That would be interesting- Cole knocks some random woman up after getting way, way too drunk and high, then abandons the baby to Borb because he's unwilling to care for a baby. I think that would completely shatter Chris if this was real and he were to discover it. Of course, it would be even worse if it ended up that Cole knocked up Barb after getting beyond blackout drunk. That'd be some real V.C. Andrews-type shit there.

On the other hand it could be a recipe for a hilarious sitcom. If sitcoms were still a thing. And a lot darker.
 
He'd become a supervillain who would either age all of the world's men past 50 or send them to an alternate universe, which would make him the lamest supervillain of all time. Even lamer than Stilt-Man. And as lame as he was, even Stilt-Man still got laid. Hell, he had a wife and a daughter.

On the other hand it could be a recipe for a hilarious sitcom. If sitcoms were still a thing. And a lot darker.
I figure if Chris was a supervillain, he'd probably be about as threatening as your run of the mill Power Rangers villain or The Shredder from the 80s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon...actually no, that'd give him too much credit saying he would be as threatening as an intergalactic warlord or an evil ninja master even as goofy as they could be at times. Though he'd probably be as cartoony as some of them(Claw of Fail, curse shots,etc).

Why not dress him up in a Robotnik suit and name and him Dr. Robot-CWC? Then just get some toady little guy who follows him around playing the Team Rocket theme on a boom box whenever he enters with a long winded motto. It even combines two derivative properties in true Chris fashion. He can then continue snooPING AS usual around the Fashion Square for a sweetheart or two to kidnap and remake from the ground up.
 
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