Lovequest October 5th Content Guide

[AllCISPeople]

In this moment, all Kiwis are equal under the "GOD DAMNED BASTARDOUS CHILD" title.

But only in THIS brief moment. When the next sweetheart rolls in, we can expect some new comedy gold spewed autistic word salad.

 

[Subconcious Offense]

He has also posted conversation logs between him and Quinn announcing a breakup.
Conversation Logs:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/its-over-isnt-it-10-5-2017.34944/

I don't know if this has been posted in one of the numerous threads today but I am going to catch up on them with this playing in the background.

 

[Uncle Warren]

View attachment 291236

Is it bad that I want to make a joke about chloroform with this image?

 

[Karen Riley]

This has been one of my favourite days of Chris content in years. I think from now on any criticism Jessica can face is arguably for the cruelty of it all only.

Personally the moral side of this doesn't bother me in the slightest but I can understand why some people could argue that it is cruel, since it's kind of mean to spoil the movie date that he was so excited for. My point is mainly just that after tonight she can't be criticised for not providing funny and interesting content.

From the shrieking rage video, to the attacks on Kim, to the supposed message from Barb, whoever is behind Jessica proved a lot of us wrong (myself included) and showed that they actually knew what they were doing the whole time and I have to applaud them for that

 

[cans.wav]

This has been one of my favourite days of Chris content in years. I think from now on any criticism Jessica can face is arguably for the cruelty of it all only.

Personally the moral side of this doesn't bother me in the slightest but I can understand why some people could argue that it is cruel, since it's kind of mean to spoil the movie date that he was so excited for. My point is mainly just that after tonight she can't be criticised for not providing funny and interesting content.

From the shrieking rage video, to the attacks on Kim, to the supposed message from Barb, whoever is behind Jessica proved a lot of us wrong (myself included) and showed that they actually knew what they were doing the whole time and I have to applaud them for that

Agreed, this has been the best day of content since "Don't Call Anybody". I'm excited to see how deep Chris is gonna continue to flip over this or if he will crash into slumber.

 

[Subconcious Offense]

I can understand why some people could argue that it is cruel, since it's kind of mean to spoil the movie date that he was so excited for.

Chris is fine. He survived @Bluespike he will survive this.

 

[Baobinga]

whoever is behind Jessica proved a lot of us wrong (myself included) and showed that they actually knew what they were doing the whole time and I have to applaud them for that

I mean it doesnt really take too much to create an event that goes down in christory; Get chris to latch onto something, string him along, and shatter his hopes/dreams. Pretty easy formula.

 

[Buffalo Chan]

I hope we are getting trolled and tomorrow their date goes off without a hitch and we look like total stupid heads and Jessica and Chris go on two more dates and make sex and use the pseye to record it

 

[Cripple]

Barb makes a Cameo today too!
View attachment 291232

The pikachu in the background is just another 500 yards on Barb's 1000 yard stare.

I choose a bad day to be busy.

 

[Bob Page]

>You dun goofed

What is this, Jessi Slaughter?

unintentional reference.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

At the very least, Chris realized that Jessica might either be a) a real person, but would bail out at the last minute or b) a troll trying to catfish him, and is just playing up on that video as some form of "counter trolling".

I don't even think he contemplated b), he is that deluded.

 

[Nacho Man Randy Salsa]

She's has that same look in her eyes that I've seen in a lot of people with cancer. Hard to explain. That would definitely explain why Mommy 2.0 search is so critical.

If Barb had cancer Chris would be shouting it from Monticello, because he's that much of an attention whore and it'd be golden pity bucks.

 

[CoolGuyHitler]

FB Post:
View attachment 291236

when your mother is your wingman

 

[Cubanodun]

The experiment was a success and we shut down the advanced AI we created to troll Chris

Jokes apart, im still impressed that he believed that this was going to be real, how many times he has to fail to understand no woman except barb want anything to do with him

 

[ZE 021]

This has been one of my favourite days of Chris content in years. I think from now on any criticism Jessica can face is arguably for the cruelty of it all only.

Personally the moral side of this doesn't bother me in the slightest but I can understand why some people could argue that it is cruel, since it's kind of mean to spoil the movie date that he was so excited for. My point is mainly just that after tonight she can't be criticised for not providing funny and interesting content.

From the shrieking rage video, to the attacks on Kim, to the supposed message from Barb, whoever is behind Jessica proved a lot of us wrong (myself included) and showed that they actually knew what they were doing the whole time and I have to applaud them for that

Ehhhh, I don't know. Long con troll of 3 years, just for this? It's been a good day, but this wasn't the liquid chris saga or anything as remotely entertaining as that.
More importantly, seeing a grown man break down like this just kind of feels cruel. Why not try to get some proper content out of chris for a while and then break up with him in a way that doesn't make him go into a death spiral?
This whole saga leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth. I don't feel like he earned this.

 

[Jaimas]

Pretty sure he was saying "fags" just in his tardy voice he uses when he doesn't want to say a bad word.

I took that audio apart in Audacity and put it back together. "Feds" was the best I could make out.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

This seems like the equivalent of when a kid is arguing on the internet and then he makes a post all like "this is his mother speaking" and pretends to be his mother except he legit got his mom in on it

The best part is that it isn't even the first time this has happened.

 

[Geoffrey Chaucer]

A bottomless curse, a bottomless sea
From our favorite Autist to the Farms of Kiwi...

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Transcript of "NO MORE":

Chris sets up his PS4 to record and also play music for emphasis. His verbiage is slow and distracted, quickly giving way to more focus as the song picks up.

I'm very... Upset... Right NOOOOOOOOW...

At this point, Chris Puts on his terrible falsetto.

Most will need to pause the video for several moments to pick up their sides, which have fallen off.

I... Open myself up... D-damn... Bunch of internet TROLLS!!!

You... Damned... FEDS! WHAT THE FUCK?!

YOU HACKED INTO HER ACCOUNT! YOU HACKED INTO HER FACEOOK YOU GOD... DAMN--

His speech audibly crackles. Between his falsetto and attempts to be threatening, it's like his voice is trying to run in three directions at once. Chris seems really frustrated, as much by his failed falsetto as his STRESS. He continues undaunted, clenching his fist as if to strangle the very internet for its insolence.

MISERABLE LIFELESS CRETINS..!! Just destroyed my relationship...

He is legitimately crying now, placing his face in his hands with an audible slapping sound.

All I wanted for now... Was just some peace of mind, and happiness, and thought you wanted that for me, too!! Now obviously, I was so... FUCKING.... WROOOOOOOONG!!!

He wails in anguish, while at the same time seeming to be trying to stifle laughter. Chris is a creature of contradictions and curiousity. He gestures towards the camera in a rage, as if threatening everyone who might be watching right now.

YOU ALL... REALLY FUCKING BLEW IT THIS TIME..!!

He wails. His movements are animated and it's impossible to tell if he's legitimately sad and/or angry or not.

THIS IS NOT FUNNY IF YOU'RE LAUGHING... THIS IS NOT FUNNY! IT'S SAD! IT'S KILLING US! DON'T HAVE W--

He is wrong, as this is hilarious. He cuts himself short to regain his thoughts.

AND MOREOVER!!!

He leans close.

You all are just... Ultimately... Really... Crazily... YOU ARE SO SUPER FUCKED UP!!

He gestures towards the camera.

CURSED!

He delivers a Curse Shot.

GOOD... BYE..!!!

He shuts off The Playroom and the clip ends.

Pretty sure he was saying "fags" just in his tardy voice he uses when he doesn't want to say a bad word.

Apologies for double posting, but I think he was trying to say "fiends."

 

[Eggplant]

In all fairness I don't know which is more depraved. The fact that Chris still thinks Jessica is legit and has tried to get her to take him back, or that this was a 3 year long-con?