Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

Once a guy asked a girl to prom by stuffing her locker full of ping-pong balls with the word "Prom?" written all over them. I only know because I was on the Yearbook team, and her locker was right next to the Yearbook room.

There were so many fucking ping-pong balls, they'd gotten all over the hall and flooded into nearby classrooms.

Since this was a Catholic school, there weren't many Senior pranks except for ones only told in lore... where someone released a bunch of chickens into the halls, although that might've been another school (and it might've been goats).
 
A lot of people are bringing up fellow students watching porn in class. I have a similar story that's still weird but not as severe as some of the stories people have shared. It was when I was studying with a close friend in college at the local library for a group project. The library has a computer section that's just rows upon rows of computer all facing a projector screen. We sat in the back and there was a single other person in the computer area sitting at the computer closest to the projector wall. We work for a bit and my friend leans in and whispers, "is that guy watching brony porn?"

I look past our computers and, lo and behold, the guy's browsing My Little Pony porn on Google. This guy was I guess trying to be sneaky since he was sitting at the farthest back computer so you can't see it when you're passing through, but if you sit anywhere closer than the first row you can see his screen completely clearly. I turn back to him and mumble, "maybe we should move."

Guy was pretty bold, though.
 
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I used to be friends with this one kid during summer vacation and I stopped hanging out with him because he was older than me and beat me. I threatened to kick his ass because he was giving me shit when I got bigger so he got a mob of several dozen kids to throw me to the ground and kick and spit on me. The teachers ignored it. I was suicidal for several years. He's in prison for grand theft auto now.
 
I knew this short Italian guy who pulled a "My dad works for Nintendo", he claimed that he won a Call of Duty tournament and that Nintendo noticed his gaming talent and that they flew him out to New York for 2 weeks so to play video games. Why Nintendo and not Microsoft (he played on xBox) I have no clue. I don't know if he actually went to America for those two weeks.

My best friend nearly became a Nice Guy (TM) but he grew up.

I was part of the Anime club, and I was probably the spergiest member there.
 
I have a horrorcow of a roommate this year;

"H" and I used to be friends until earlier this year when she fucked me over 5 times and made me waste a bunch of money. She also just is a shitty person and actively bullies good people for selfish reasons. I decided I didn't want to be friends with a toxic hoe-monster like her and her boyfriend and I agreed we would defect and just go back to the original friend group that H tried to break up with her salt.

Fast forward 2 weeks of ignoring her, I'm sitting in my RA's room, somewhere between hysterical laughter and defeated tears because I came home to my entire bathroom being covered in dirty tampons and trash. She also wrote all over the mirror and walls about how gross and dirty I am after sending me texts about how terrible of a human being I was to her. RA and community director are horrified and help me clean up the mess and told her to clean up the rest or else she'd lose her $400 deposit. When she came home she spent 1 hour banging on my door and telling me how bad she wanted me to kill myself and that she would contact my counselor/psychiatrist and get me locked up in a mental institution.

Now, being the sadistic freak I am, I realized that if I so much as leave a single hair in the bathroom, H will just rage and the tard cum with flow. Sadly for her, I'm mildly intelligent and have good connections within the university as well as the community and have been plotting to get her scholarships taken away or at least threatened since I have recordings and saved messages of her telling me to kill myself and threatening to hurt me, a student recognized as disabled and technically a suicide threat due to my chronic mental health conditions.

We still have one semester to go before I'm done living on campus and we'll see just how much worse she makes this for herself :evil:
Use Tumblr war tactics and fight cunt with cunt.....






























Fuck her boyfriend
 
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boy o boy, well on my side there´s...

-the guy who used to smell my hair on class, without permission, and the girls that wanted me to punch him on the face and humiliate him when I told them that I was just reporting him they said "well get raped then"

-this woman in college that acted like a 10 y/o, actively said she was enjoying her "childhood" at 19 that had lawyer parents that were super paranoid and forbade her from getting outside.

-the guy who half joking half serious acted as a vampire, complete with fear for the sun (we live in a desert and he looked hilarious whenever he walked outside)

-a friend of those two who asked me to put on her seatbelt because she didn´t know how to, take into account this was a woman who came from a nearby redneck town convinced she was truly a connoisseur of the world.
Also, she believed she was L from Death Note.

-the guy who got nicknamed "Celso Piña" for cheating on an exam (it is a rather lame joke), but he was a swell dude, the problem was the English teacher that constantly bullied him
-this teacher would only frequent high school age kids
- he would chimp out like a kid
- Didn´t understand English

-The family that ran that high school, for hiring that obvious pedo (and many more pedos)

-a friend of a friend that dated the science teacher (she was 16), always talked about how guys would serenade her every night
-our common friend that was a hambeast but constantly talked about her sexual conquest and the time she did all the drugs and fuck all the boys (she insisted she had attended a college before, we hadn´t even finished high school)

-that girl from elementary school who got into shock anytime she was asked to show-and-tell. She would just stand there, giggling nervously... for 10 minutes. I found that super obnoxious at the time, but now I just hope she got help eventually.

-me, I was an asshole, there´s a bit of me on everyone of the assholes I mentioned and it wouldn´t surprise me if I was someone´s personal lolcow at the time
 
I had this girl that always sat near me during lunch freshman year. She always went through the nacho line and I'd hear her suck on her fingers and just generally being an extremely noisy eater. I can still hear that slurping accompanied by the smell of nacho cheese to this day. It was so gross.

Only other thing I remember about her is that she always wore tank tops or very short sleeve shirts that exposed these big, round bumps all over her arms. I'm not exactly sure what they were, but they looked like cigarette burns in my mind (and I really hope they weren't).
 
I knew a wigger back in middle school who said he had 3 PS3's (at the the time they were still expensive), and he said to some kid he'd give one to him. Then I guess those and a lot of other shit got stolen from their crack den trailer.

I also knew some kids from the same middle school who said they were Werewolves.
 
Shit from my high school.

The network administrator's account was
accessable from any computer in the building. Bad idea. The username was admin. The password... was password.

Knew a guy who thought it was funny to steal shit from construction workers who were doing rennovations there. I've been told he smoked crack.

The new principal we had near the end of my time there had a strange obsession with stopping girls from showing their midriff and guys from wearing their pants below their waste. For awhile it seemed like every day he would get on the intercom to talk about this.

Once had a guy come into class stinking of weed. I was impressed by how little of a fuck he gave about it.

One PE teacher was this old guy who apparently used to be super buff. I'm told he would rip phone books apart in front of the class a few years before I got there.

It was an open secret that the band instructor was always fucking several of his students.

Only ever saw one fight while I was there. One of the guy's pants fell down. I really wish I never got to see that guy's ass in full view.

The plumbing was absolutely terrible. It was incredibly easy for someone to back up the whole system by just stuffing one toilet full of paper and flushing. The place very frequently smelled of shit.

I personally interacted with a couple of the most cringeworthy people I've ever seen. One I already told the story of in the personal lolcows thread, but the other was way worse. Imagine a guy who waddled like a penguin, was a full on Sonic and TV Tropes sperg, had the voice of a castratto Kermit the Frog and never shut the fuck up. Not to toot my own horn, but I eventually got off scott free for yelling in his face to leave me the fuck alone because even the staff was sick of his shit.
 
One day in high school, a giant school wide fight broke out.
The entire quad was full of people punching each other - male and female, teachers getting slapped and kicked for trying to break it up.
My friend and I were a top staircase that looked out over the school, laughing about it, coz why were these people fighting? What a bunch of retards. What was this all about anyway?

A few periods later, my friend and I were called out of class to the principal's office. Turns out we'd both "accidentally" started the fight when we were gossiping in another class about 2 fat girls that hated one another.
People overheard us mocking and laughing about these two fat tards and took what we said as gospel of what the two girls said about one another. It got back to the brother and cousin or something of the two girls, the girls themselves and other associates of the two and as soon as the bell for lunch rang, they all went looking for a fight.

We didn't get in any trouble, but I found it pretty hilarious our names and school photos were at the center of a Law and Order style mindmap.

I guess it was basically KF, IRL.
 
My last year in high school, the "senior prank" was an embarrassingly abysmal failure. The pranksters' plan was to use quicksetting concrete to cement a discarded toilet to the middle of the bridge that connected the school campus to the parking lot. That was a pretty good idea, but the idiots forgot or didn't know to bring water to mix with the concrete, so when everyone arrived at school on the morning of the last day, we were greeted by the sight of a toilet sitting on the bridge, surrounded by a bunch of dry concrete mix. In the parlance of the day, it was an "epic fail".

Another time in high school, one of the "popular girls" got blackout drunk and passed out at some party, and someone took a shit on her face and the photo of the incident went viral on the local facebook circles and on the Bodybuilding.com forums. She got relentlessly cyberbowled so bad and made the butt of so much IRL mockery that she required psychological counseling and was ultimately pulled from the school and transferred to another district. I think her parents paid big money to try to get all the evidence and photos scrubbed from the internet, but I remember checking a few years ago and there's still some JPEG-artifacted thumbnails floating around out there. I kind of felt bad for her because in middle school, before she became one of the popular girls, I had a bit of a crush on her and she was in the outer ring of my friend circle.
 
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