- Joined
- May 21, 2014
(Note: I originally had so much content that I couldn’t put it all in one post. This OP got so long that I’m only going to post one part at a time, probably updating like every day so check in here often. I have like five parts full of bullshit. There’s a lot to cover and I don’t want to overwhelm you.)
ENTER THE GAMER CAGE
fried_kooch aka King of Kek aka KingCasio aka Friko Braun aka Pvtrichardcranium 2: Electric Boogaloo, is an obese cluster B schizophrenic griefer from Kansas who wants to bang autistic girls and cannot stand not being the center of attention. His “alpha sperg” personality compels him to seek out attention and drama whenever and wherever possible. I first found him when I was invited to write for the WizDumGun brand, along with others, back in late 2016. Since then kooch has done some wacky shit. Among other things, he livestreamed himself calling Jan Rankowski’s phone number over and over again for 30 minutes like a jilted lover and then started crying and calling him “dad” when he picked up (more on this later), streamed Deus Ex for 8 hours in an attempt to recreate jace last year, unsuccessfully attempted to spam a Discord with childporn from masterchan because he got into an argument with someone, tried to unironically convert youtubers to Jesus with youtube poops, and was responsible for (unsuccessfully) spamming these very forums with the Deagle Nation accounts around February of last year in an attempt to start some gay war with the site. He was quickly shadow-banned. His main accounts were never touched because everyone thought the spammer was KingofManga420 instead. That is just the tip of the iceberg. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long, wild ride.
PART I: WizDumGun (and the lesser-known WizDumGun 2)
fried_kooch's story begins in late 2016 with the birth of Wiz Dum Gun. For those of you who don’t know, WizDumGun was an alt comedy youtube channel created by Jan Rankowski, the guy who did Parkourdude91, shortly after said character was outed as a ruse. Before Wiz Dum Gun, Fried_Kooch used to be a GMOD Griefer with over 900 hours in the game whose favorite tactic was shouting “NIGGER” into the mic until someone banned him.
Here’s a podcast made by a Sam Hyde stalker that Kooch called in to, explaining his side of the story.
Over the span of a few months, Jan would visit the WDG discord less and less, partly for real life reasons, but mostly because of how autistic the chat got. It was just a stream of off-topic content and cryptic in-jokes and I think it alienated him over time. This absence eventually got so bad he just stopped posting entirely. As a consequence, the writer team started getting creative blue balls and produced content by themselves using the WizDumGun brand.
fried_kooch saw an opportunity to become the hero WizDumGun’s writers never realized they wanted; him and a few other members attempted to stage a coup, with kooch at the head, completely taking over WizDumGun as a brand. His reasoning was that since they were generating all this independent and unsupervised content for the group, content that Jan never asked for, then he has the right to control it entirely. Note that this content evolved from writing skit scripts for Jan to full on creating videos, one of them being a collab, without Jan’s oversight or knowledge. The coup expected them to be released onto the WizDumGun channel, and when that never happened, found a way to release it on their own.
The e-rebels didn’t have access to the main channel’s password, so Kooch created a new channel: WizDumGun2. This channel would serve as a release to the build-up of content that had nothing to do with WizDumGun. The group also received a new discord, as kooch took over a griefing discord he was a part of a little while after the coup’s conception.
During the original WizDumGun days, we made this one script for a character who was supposed to mock the more autistic parts of the alt-right community. I’m talking bottom-of-the-barrel kekistani aut-right shit. The type of people you swear were on payroll from Soros himself to be that retarded to act as a plant. This human embodiment of embarrassment would be named “King of Kek”. He would be a satirical skit character that we would write five-minute episodes for. We originally were going to just find a voice actor to read scripts over game footage like Ethnic Cleansing or Purble Place, but instead we decided that kooch had the perfect, uh, “physique” for the role. He even went and bought a V mask from a costume store for it.
The original character, code-named “Pizza Pozzer” as the working title, would be this closet-homosexual youtube alt-right gamer who blogs about how he’s triggering SJWs by being autistic in public, and ranting about how its not gay to marry trap anime characters because “they look like women and males are more rational/loyal”. He would be obsessed with porn, thinks he’s the funniest thing in the world when he’s really just doing Rick and Morty-tier reference humor with /pol/ memes, and has no idea how to conduct himself, other than what he knows from the internet, when faced with opposing opinions. We figured the skit wouldn’t get much use after two or three episodes, so we discarded it.
Once WizDumGun2 gets established, Kooch decides that he’s going to pull King of Kek out of the dumpster, brush it off, and make it his own thing. Almost completely disregarding the original scripts and documents from the original incarnation of the character, he posted on the Deagle Nation account as a newer version of King of Kek made exclusively by himself. If he doesn’t fuck up, this could get really popular. It may even become Jace 2.0!
After a while, the absence of Jan hit its peak for Kooch. He stopped posting in character, and scoured the internet for Jan’s actual phone number. So begins the Trial of Jan Rankowski: A half-hour livestream consisting of kooch explaining his end of the situation and repeatedly attempting to call this number he found.
After numerous failed tries, someone finally picks up on the other end.
Currently, Kooch has the only known copy of the call. We all were muted in a Skype group, so I’ll recount what I remember:
A few minutes after the Livestream ends, Jan calls the Skype number back. He says he wants to talk to kooch in private rather than make a scene. In this twenty minute conversation, Jan asks Kooch why the fuck he’s been trying to call him over and over again. Kooch explains what he’s been doing and questions Jan on why he’s been spending time off the internet on real life shit instead of talking to him. In response, Jan calmly and rationally explains to Noah that what he’s doing is fucking autistic and is probably not the best use of his time. He’s being really weird about this. Why is he so invested in this? This is just some stupid dead end thing, why is he taking it so seriously?
Kooch starts sobbing, unable to form a proper retort. He tries to make excuses and explain why making streams of himself playing Deus Ex for 8 hours straight is a form of high art and not a waste of time and that Jan had done similar things with parkourdude91. Jan agrees, and says that had he been able to talk to his old highschool self, he would tell himself the same advice. Kooch just wouldn’t accept it. The rest is a little hazy, but I remember Jan trying to tell him “No. No, it’s true. You need to hear this. What you are doing is a complete waste of time. Giving up that phantom will do you better in the end.” This is followed by Kooch telling him to stop talking. He knows, he just hates hearing it from him. I remember him saying something along the lines of “you know, this fucking sucks because between you and me, you’re more like my dad than my actual dad was.”
At some point, Kooch’s mom comes in to ask him why he’s sobbing on the phone and he starts telling her to fuck off. He doesn’t mute himself or anything, everyone else in the call could hear it. Jan tries to calm him down and keeps telling him to “be reasonable” until Kooch eventually hangs up on him.
After The Call ends, Jan breaks the silence between himself and the WizDumGun Discord to tell everyone that if they’re going to make their own 100% original content, on their own youtube channel, then they should just change their name to an original moniker instead of just using his. Everyone involved with the WDG2 bullshit was kicked out of the original WDG discord and left to discover themselves. Kooch creates a new group under the name “Doomspeak Dieschau”, or D2 for short. Learn more about that tomorrow.
Part Ia: End of the Beginning
His Youtubes:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyG1n-jJH_lLjLHM704shDA
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvHxH6TsmrzS-W17uvOio-A
His accounts on these very forums:
https://kiwifarms.net/members/kingcasio.4339/
https://kiwifarms.net/members/fried_kooch.13656/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/fried_kooch
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