Holy fuck, I wasn't buying any of this, but then I was walking around in Chicago and Rahm Emanuel personally raped me senseless.
He had a really tiny dick, though.
I'm not sure why he didn't arrest me, but I'm really worried now.
Holy shit! Once, this happened twice to me as well!
I was working undercover trying to bust an illegal cashew-smuggling operation, when Rahm climbed into my office and immediately punched me in the face, knocking me out cold.
Upon awakening I found myself bound and gagged to a chair. Rahm was naked, standing in front of me with a big ol’ Jew boner staring me in the face. "As the ancient Jews used to say... it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Rahm leaped forward and grabbed my undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from my body. My muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to my help.
The blood aroused Rahm more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Jewish sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Rahm grabbed a hammer and smashed at my ribcage, again my screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to my insides, Rahm plunged in.
He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for me and I lost consciousness. Rahm came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of my chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Rahm cleaned his dick off with my tongue.
Rahm tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate.
Rahm then undid my restraints and began fucking my now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hebrew happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at me.
Rahm shoved his hand up my ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out my entire small intestine and part of my large. Rahm started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope.
He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Rahm went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin my body.
Just then Rahm remembered, he was not man, but Bear Jew. He skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear Jew. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until my father came in.
“It’s time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD -" and Rahm attacked and ate my dad. Then Rahm went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Israel.