- Joined
- Dec 22, 2017
"PUBG isn't very entertaining." -Phil "111 hours into PUBG" Burnell
PUBG - February 28,Special fundraising event 1st stream commentary
PUBG - February 28,
SHOUT-OUTS!
GOALS
"Alright guys, we gotta seriously start doing something about the subs. The subs are seriously dipping like crazy. We gotta do something. We are way far away from our goal."
BUSINESS ACUMEN
"Everyone said, 'Oh, well Patreon support is down so you should just put everything into the subscriptions on Twitch because that's what everyone is focusing on now.' And then I do it, and it's incredibly successful for 1 month and then it immediately fails the next month. So it's obvious we gotta find a happy medium between everything, right?"
PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY
"The PUBG streams are only as entertaining as people make them with interactions. So if people want to talk to me constantly and have conversations and stuff…about fun stuff…then the streams are better, right? But, if people are bored and don't really have much to talk about then the streams end up being boring. I told you, the gameplay of PUBG is not riveting. It's not. So you need to have other stuff going on for it to be entertaining."
Pre-stream
I already fixed your schedule.
End of pre-stream.
Match 1
Match 2
Match 3
Match 4
Match 5
Match 6
Post-stream
Out of 61 matches:
GOALS
"Alright guys, we gotta seriously start doing something about the subs. The subs are seriously dipping like crazy. We gotta do something. We are way far away from our goal."
BUSINESS ACUMEN
"Everyone said, 'Oh, well Patreon support is down so you should just put everything into the subscriptions on Twitch because that's what everyone is focusing on now.' And then I do it, and it's incredibly successful for 1 month and then it immediately fails the next month. So it's obvious we gotta find a happy medium between everything, right?"
PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY
"The PUBG streams are only as entertaining as people make them with interactions. So if people want to talk to me constantly and have conversations and stuff…about fun stuff…then the streams are better, right? But, if people are bored and don't really have much to talk about then the streams end up being boring. I told you, the gameplay of PUBG is not riveting. It's not. So you need to have other stuff going on for it to be entertaining."
Pre-stream
I already fixed your schedule.
- He's playing CoD tonight because he was a BEAST the last time he played it.
- For the indie marathon on Saturday, he will be playing Getting Over It and 3 games voted on by Patrons (unless he doesn't like the winner). Potential games include: Axion Verge, VR Chat, and Darkest Dungeon. I hope he plays Darkest Dungeon. That game is brutal and he will be real salty.
- Some bullshit about voting on a 10 year anniversary playthrough. I thought he was on 8 years and was rounding up to 9. I guess we're rounding up to 10 now. Can't wait for the 15 year anniversary completely normal stream on March 31.
- He thinks this year's E3 is going to "blow the lid off everything." Can't wait for more E3 "coverage" from the world's worse reporter. I wonder how he'll insult iJustine this year.
- Shilling Patreon. Last day to get in on the monthly perks. Get a customized fetish video where your findom master tells you how wrong you are for asking a stupid question.
- Shilling and begging continues for so long I was able to edit and polish the findom joke.
- 50 minutes into the pre-stream and his Shout-Outs! have turned into ramblings about what game he's maybe going to play for…some event…maybe. I dunno. I'm getting a few turns of Total War: Warhammer in before he starts PUBG.
- @wubegg subscribed for the 16 month in a row.
- Derich is back from school.
End of pre-stream.
Match 1
- Right off the bat: "We all know PUBG is a pretty inferior game, right? It really is badly optimized. It's not a very good game."
- Lands near a guy and freaks out as usual.
- Shortly after he lands a jeep goes by. Phil thinks it's the guy who landed near him. That guy is actually running up on Phil with a crowbar. Phil blows him away with the pump shotgun before the guy can close the distance. Credit where credit is due, that was well played by Phil. Then he calls the guy a complete idiot.
- The jeep is circling the group of buildings Phil is looting.
- He's genuinely happy to get a kill so early in the game and he says so. This is what gets me…if he dropped in more popular areas he would be forced to gunfight. He'd like it and his gunplay would improve.
- 55 players left. It's midgame and he can't find a backpack. It bugs him that he can't hoard gun attachments and every caliber of bullet.
- Phil jumps off a building and misses the intended landing. Loses 1/4 of his health.
- Almost flips a car and takes some damage.
- Talks about how Muxy never crashes while his car crashes through a fence.
- Trades out the car for a dune buggy. It's a trap! Takes heavy fires but successfully flees.
- End game. Time to drive around in circles and take fire.
- Hits a broken down vehicle and is down to half health.
- Stops to heal and attract attention. Drives off while taking fire. Dies while running away.
- Parting shot: "How's he hitting me?! This is garbage! This is fucking garbage, dude! SKS, he's got the best sniper rifle in the game and he's magically hitting me while I'm driving at full speed."
- Place: 13
- Killed by: SKS
- Guns at time of death: M16, Frag Grenade
- Number of kills: 1
Match 2
- A lot of talk about Fortnight vs PUBG. Fortnight is the better game but he won't stream it because he can't interact with chat as much. PUBG is the better streaming experience.
- @yolodopper asks the first stupid question of the night. Something about Final Fantasy.
- Someone asks him if he'd ever do a sequel to Project 7 and call it Project 8. He is really salty about this. "You people really live in the past."
- 29 players left. The circle is closing in on Phil's nemesis: military island.
- Phil makes a break for military island. A jeep comes at him. He empties a magazine into the jeep as it crashes into a house. Then a second jeep wizzes past him. Phil reloads and empties another magazine at the second jeep. It drives off in flames. Phil then takes fire from the guy in the first jeep and dies. Military island wins again.
- Note how my previous statements on Phil only ever needing to carry 2 magazines still holds true.
- Parting shot: "What the fuck?! Where?!"
- Place: 23
- Killed by: AKM
- Guns at time of death: M16, UMP9, Frag Grenade
- Number of kills: 0
Match 3
- "Alright guys, we gotta seriously start do something about the subs. The subs are seriously dipping like crazy. We gotta do something. We are way far away from our goal." Imagine how that sounds to someone checking out Phil's stream for the first time.
- "Everyone said, 'Oh, well Patreon support is down so you should just put everything into the subscriptions on Twitch because that's what everyone is focusing on now.' And then I do it, and it's incredibly successful for 1 month and then it immediately fails the next month. So it's obvious we gotta find a happy medium between everything, right?"
- Chat is all over him for expecting to get 110+ subs in one day.
- 27 players left. Goes prone in the tall grass and prays.
- 11 players left. Still prone. Crawling toward the white circle.
- Consistently takes fires while crawling. Just continues crawling in the same direction, taking more fire. Dies.
- Parting shot: "And there you go. Nothing I could do."
- Place: 10
- Killed by: Mini14
- Guns at time of death: AKM, Frag Grenade
- Number of kills: 0
Match 4
- "Sadly subs are down. Again. Again we're bleeding subs."
- He's in a 4 man squad.
- He drives off leaving 1 man behind. Calls him a moron.
- He's driving the car with 2 other guys in it. Terror time.
- He runs a guy over. "Any more stray dogs out here?"
- Drives up the side of a mountain. Almost destroys the car in the process. Not happy that his squad wants to loot buildings when they could be driving in a circle.
- His squadmates start taking fire. Phil goes prone and doesn't try to help.
- Calls one squadmate a moron for trying to push toward a building while taking fire. Then another squadmate starts to push forward and now it's a good idea so Phil follows.
- Parting shot: "Well we're all dead! What a great match. I had no weapon. A shitty UMP9 that does no damage."
- Place: 16 (out of 2
- Killed by: a UMP9 that does no damage
- Guns at time of death: S1897, UMP9
- Number of kills: 1
Match 5
- New 4 man squad.
- Gets a machete. Doesn't know how to equip it.
- Gets a motorcycle. Searches a house. Eats a shotgun from behind.
- Parting shot: "Oh good! I'm dead! That was a fun game wasn't it? I find no weapons what-so-fucking ever, anywhere. And then I just get executed with a shotgun from behind. What a fun match and what a great fucking game PUBG is."
- Place: 89
- Killed by: S1897
- Weapons at time of death: Machete, 2 Frag Grenades
- Number of kills: 0
Match 6
- Shits on chat for telling him to always play squads.
- He's going to play a 4 man squad again.
- Says chat wants him to parachute in the far north of the map. I can't find anyone in chat saying this.
- Dune buggy right off the bat. Looks like 2 of his squadmates are getting left behind.
- Him and another guy run into each other. Phil wins the exchange using a shotgun. He always complains about how shotguns are worthless but this is the second time tonight he scored a kill with a shotgun.
- The dead guy's squadmate shows up and knocks Phil out with a shotgun. Phil's squadmates show up, kill the guy, and revive Phil. They get in a car and drive off.
- Phil flips out on his squadmate for flipping the vehicle. Calls him a moron. This from the guy that has never left a car in working condition. There's a BMW oil change joke in here somewhere…
- Talks about switching to CoD.
- "The PUBG streams are only as entertaining as people make them with interactions. So if people want to talk to me constantly and have conversations and stuff…about fun stuff…then the streams are better, right? But, if people are bored and don't really have much to talk about then the streams end up being boring. I told you, the gameplay of PUBG is not riveting. It's not. So you need to have other stuff going on for it to be entertaining."
- Chat wants Battlefront 2 and Phil agrees.
- 18 players left. You guessed it: he's prone in the grass.
- Empties a magazine and knocks a guy out. The guy's squadmate knocks Phil out.
- Parting shot: "Kill 'em dudes! What are they blind?! My team didn't help me at all!"
- Place: 15
- Killed by: UMP9
- Guns at time of death: M4, Kar
- Number of kills: His squadmates got 2 kills in the last firefight.
- I missed what the final sub count was, but it doesn't matter. None of this matters.
Post-stream
Out of 61 matches:
- % of matches he was killed by an M16 or M4 (the only guns that ever kill him): 21%
- % of matches when he died while having an M16 or M4 (the guns he never finds): 56%
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