Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

[Tetra]

I used to look across an ocean and think it was another country

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

I thought that when you swallow gum, it stays in your stomach for years, or that you would get sick if you drank orange juice and had m1lk in the same meal.

 

[American Lollinator Mace]

I thought that when you swallow gum, it stays in your stomach for years, or that you would get sick if you drank orange juice and had m1lk in the same meal.

My dad told me the gum one as fact. This was not helped by the Magic School Bus episode about the digestive system wherein they find a glob of undigested gum in someone's intestines after he accidentally swallows it at the beginning.

 

[Prussian Blue]

That factory's bellowing smoke were creating clouds
The only two RPGs I had or knew about as a kid was Phantasy Star 4 and Final Fantasy 6/3 and was convinced they were in the same series just because of the word Ph/Fantasy and they had similar mechanics and that number 5 must have had some weird amalgamated name.
That wrestling was a 100% legit fight/sport

 

[Teri-Teri]

I thought Bill Gates invented the first computer software.

 

[Dovahshit]

i thought that when giving birth, the belly opened magically and the baby rolled out. i never worked out how it would close...

 

[DildoGaggins]

i thought that when giving birth, the belly opened magically and the baby rolled out. i never worked out how it would close...

My mom always told me babies came out of your butt, I guess I never questioned it.

 

[Nekromantik]

I didn't know where meat came from at first. I just thought that food was coincidentally named things like chicken and deer. I mean there's no animal running around named hamburger. My mother had to explain to me that frogs legs came from frogs, like the ones in the back yard, and chicken came from chicken. For some reason I was more upset and grossed out by the revelation chicken. I got over it by the next day because of bacon.

 

[Count groudon]

I thought that when you got glasses it meant that you were recognized by some comittee as being super intelligent, so I was very proud of myself when my optometrist said I needed glasses when I was 7.

Turns out I'm not smart, just near-sighted.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

The first time I watched Empire Strikes Back I didn't understand the whole symbolism of the Darth Vader apparition in the cave on Dagoba, so I just assumed there were two Darth Vaders.

 

[Hummingbird]

I used to think nurses were what they called female doctors.

 

[omori]

A kid I used to play with on my street told me that she was moving away to New York and therefore couldn't play with me anymore.

She still lives at the same house to this day.

My grandma didn't like me and my brother playing in the puddle that formed near her pool so she'd tell us that alligators lived in it to scare us. We believed that for years.

 

[Count groudon]

I used to think that magic and psychic powers were real, but you had to train your mind before you could use them. I used to spend fucking hours sitting around my room or in my yard focusing on random shit until I made seomething happen. If a leaf so much as fluttered in the wind or a cloud moved a certain way while I was watching I took it as a sign that my powers were getting stronger and I'd soon be able to save my hometown from the monsters/aliens that were sure to attack us any day now.

Being an only child was hard.

 

[Paige Matheson]

I used to think the reenactments on In Search Of were real when I was 5.
I remember asking my Dad, “Why are they still asking questions about this when they just showed it happening?” Or “Why didn’t they catch whatever or whoever when they just filmed him?”
This was puzzling to me, especially when they had episodes about UFOs, Loch Ness Monster
or someone that had disappeared, like Amelia Earhart.

 

[SadClownMan]

I watched killer klowns from outer space as a kid and then on I was convinced all clowns where murderous beings from outer space and that cotton candy where human remains

 

[A Hot Potato]

I would be someone other than a faggoty piece of shit.

 

[Coldgrip]

That women can be as good as men.

 

[Henry Wyatt]

when i was 3 i used to think girls didn't pee since they didnt' have a benis

 

[Hummingbird]

I didn't know it wasn't okay to use the world midget until I was an adult.

 

[IV 445]

Those bumps they place on the side of the highway for drivers who veer off too close to the side? My dad explained to me that they were for blind people to know where they’re going when they drive.