Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?

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The big local nerd convention here is 35 for a Friday or Saturday Pass, 20 for a Sunday Pass and 55 for a 3 day pass. With T-Shirt and poster options of course.
 
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Optimus Prime said:
Had Dash-Con not happened the following year, Unicon would be the premiere example of a convention gone horribly wrong in every imaginable way.

To date, the con organizers themselves also mysteriously vanished a month after this shit went down, potentially with $50k of unaccounted funds, and have never been heard from again.
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Yeah, I read the page. Shit's hilarious. Trying to poison a voice actress so they could bounce with the cash? Lol. If only Chris's convention could be so retarded. I can imagine all the amazing updates we'd get...
 
LoveYouLongTime said:
Why does he have to mark all his belongings (I know the answer)‽
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He got conditioned into thinking that it would increase the value of his items, to the point where he almost ruined the Transformer toys initially by signing them, he later read on here that he dun goofed on that, so he erased those signatures and replaced them with certificates of authenticity.

Lol, I just imagined that he got so mega successful with it, you'd see probably see Chinese knock-offs of his certificates of authenticity and signature.
 
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Optimus Prime said:
And ironically they would be higher quality in comparison.
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We will then see the Jackie Chan saga, in which a troll poses as the Martial Arts Superstar, and promises to kick the asses of those knock-off makers and get them arrested, but only if Chris makes a video of himself showcasing his martial arts skills. He also promises to hook Chris up with his beautiful daughter if he proves his love.

(Alright, I'm done now, I swear..)
 
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Duke Nukem said:
I did have a friend about a decade back who was talking about going on a trip to an anime convention in the nearest major city, but it never came to fruition. The price of admission probably wasn't terrible there, maybe $30 at the time at worst, but holy fuck, like I said, I'm completely baffled at even the jump from $250 to $500 at this convention. I I'd sooner throw my money at literally anything else at that point. Warhammer 40,000 figures, a collection of sexually provocative, yet finely crafted anime girl figurines, a marathon session with a crowd of hookers, even throwing cash off a God damn bridge.
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Yeah, the upgrades are not really intended to be market value. They are geared at superfans with money, who will do it both because they treasure an exclusive piece of merch and because they see it as a way of donating to support an event they love.

Night Stars Brother said:
Just a few days ago Chris was begging for mortgage money, now he goes out and buys a new Fitbit, those range from $50-$200.

It’s good that Chris has suddenly hit this new fitness streak I guess. But his insistence on buying workout gear with what was said to be money for his mortgage is dishonest and irresponsible. Which is to be expected.

I wonder how long this work out streak is going to last, and how many hundreds of dollars is going to sink into it before he gives up.
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Chris seems to have discovered he can upgrade his crap for free, maybe even make a small profit on it. Sell an old version of a technology for an inflated price because it is CWCabilia, making sure to get enough to get a new version and have some left over.

In a few years, he can sell the Fitbit for an inflated price and continue the sycle.

neural said:
He got conditioned into thinking that it would increase the value of his items, to the point where he almost ruined the Transformer toys initially by signing them, he later read on here that he dun goofed on that, so he erased those signatures and replaced them with certificates of authenticity.

Lol, I just imagined that he got so mega successful with it, you'd see probably see Chinese knock-offs of his certificates of authenticity and signature.
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Why doesn't he just offer an option to add a signature or not?
 
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Duke Nukem said:
At least Chris put effort into creating the Sonic Totem
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@Marvin and I actually joked around once about offering Chris like a crisp twenty for the totem back when he was super desperate for money. As a piece of Christory it was always there, in ghe background, watching everyone. Both of us we're under the impression that it was made of sturdier stuff, like clay or ceramic; like something made in an art class.

Imagine the dissapointment of finding out it was a hollow tube and the hilarity of someone dumping 1500$ for something that probably smelled like cat piss.

FYI we discussed turning it into a bong. Because reasons.
 
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Mason Verger said:
Chris is the oldest person in human history to still dot his "i's" with a heart.

I'd be very courious if he does that shit on legal documents. I'm %90 sure he does.
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I know a guy who signs legal documents with that "S" thing schoolchildren always draw in the margins of their school work. I have no idea why but apparently it works.
 
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Seeing that nobody wants to drop a Benjamin on a nasty, dinged-up piece of plastic, Chris decides to throw in an empty bottle of hair dye (autographed to increase its value).
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LoveYouLongTime said:
Why does he have to mark all his belongings (I know the answer)‽
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Because he's under the belief he's the most famous internet celerity (probably even moreso than PewDiePie). He also believes that his signature is worth something. I love chriss idiotic delusions...wait maybe it's his so called dementia?? His mom has it so why can't he dammit!!
 
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The Nameless One said:
Seeing that nobody wants to drop a Benjamin on a nasty, dinged-up piece of plastic, Chris decides to throw in an empty bottle of hair dye (autographed to increase its value).
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Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard right now. I know we are always making fun of Chris selling "garbage" with his name on it, but I didn't expect to see it get to the point where it's LITERAL GARBAGE.

Next week: Empty box of tissues, signed with certificate of authenticity - $150
 
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James Howlett said:
Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard right now. I know we are always making fun of Chris selling "garbage" with his name on it, but I didn't expect to see it get to the point where it's LITERAL GARBAGE.

Next week: Empty box of tissues, signed with certificate of authenticity - $150
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I'm not one to get angry at Chris making hundreds of dollars off of literal garbage, but it pisses me off to see how big of an ego trip shit like this sends Chris on; he becomes this pariah that thinks anything he scribbles his signature on suddenly becomes a national treasure.
 
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James Howlett said:
Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard right now. I know we are always making fun of Chris selling "garbage" with his name on it, but I didn't expect to see it get to the point where it's LITERAL GARBAGE.

Next week: Empty box of tissues, signed with certificate of authenticity - $150
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You must've missed the time he put up a coffee-stained, half-finished page of Sonichu, and yes, it was sold.
 
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