What's the most lewd, creepy or cringey thing your partner has asked you? - Clingyness, bizarre fetishes, outright creepy stuff

[Prussian Blue]

My story is relatively tame compared to others here. I once dated this girl for a few months despite my friends objections 'cause she was obviously crazy and displayed all the tell-tale signs. Anyway, she was into moderate BDSM, only going so far as candle wax/scratching, which ain't my cup of cheese but she was hot enough to go along with it.

She was quite the submissive one usually, but one day wanted to tie me up, thinking I'd get pleasured like a Roman Emperor, I agreed. Flash forward to me pretty bound and her waltzing in with a stonker of a strap on that made me feel inadequate. This being unannounced, I freaked out. I'll only give up my ass during my inevitable stint in prison, and I wasn't going to give it up here. I thrashed my right arm widely and broke both the bedpost and my wrist. Got dressed and got the fuck out of there, even lied to the hospital and said I fell liked an abused spouse.

She works at a supermarket now behind cigarette counter and it's awkward when she serves me

 

[Nekromantik]

That poll! Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha...

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

One of my exes was raised in a super Catholic family and had that ''breakout" moment when she was 16. She loved sex and we'd do it everywhere in the house when her parents were out. She used to get super horny at the idea of sitting down to a tight lipped formal meal with her ultra conservative parents at a table that she'd been tied to and fucked not an hour before. She told me later that she would go to confession and tell the priest EVERYTHING which I have to admit made me keen to make sure she had some serious stuff to tell him. We had about a year of crazy, slutty risky sex and it became apparent that the risk of getting caught was her major turn on. Closest we got to being busted was when I turned up early for a crazy day wearing nothing but my motorcycle leathers as a surprise for her and as I unzipped them in the hall in front of her, her dad stepped out of the downstairs toilet. How he didn't notice I do not know to this day but I do know I'm lucky I didn't castrate myself with how fast I did that zip up again. They left ten minutes later and she was so wet it was dripping down her legs. Good times.

 

[ThePurpleProse]

I keep my fetishes to myself, probably because I've seen too many secrets of other people driving them to the ground by their ex partners, but had a few weirdos on my life.

Spoiler

My first gf tried to finger me, knocked her front teeth out and she ran away, extra points because we were naked on my house, never saw her again.

Had another girl who would yell at the top of her lungs something similar to fuck off (in my language) on climax, dumped her after getting police knocking on my door twice because people thought she was breaking up with me or something and I wouldn't leave.

Another one had Tourette syndrome, girl was great and it was fucking hilarious, we parted on good terms, got bored from each other I guess.

I don't like sex sounds very much, moaning etc, and had this girl who wouldn't shut up, so I put my hand on her mouth and accidentally knock her unconscious, needless to say she was pretty pissed off after waking up, broked up with me the same moment.

Current gf sometimes cry after sex, ik I'm not that bad on the bed but man that really raise questions.

Not a relationship, but funny tale from 2 weeks ago, 4 AM on my home fucking around the pc, someone shatter the window's glass on the living room and I could hear cursing, looked like a woman so I went out, gun on hand and it was a tranny, he saw the gun and instantly tried to jump on me, nails first, like an animatron with his hands on zombie stance, stoned as the moon, so I kicked him back, a police car was passing by with flashlight on, saw the scene and tased the troon, later an officer told me they got the call 10 mins before my incident, my house wasn't the only one blessed with a brick and the tranny was trying to scratch me because he had HIV.

 

[Prussian Blue]

We had about a year of crazy, slutty risky sex and it became apparent that the risk of getting caught was her major turn on.

Fuckin' ay, that's always been my thing too. Me and ex called it Danger Zone Sex, the greater the risk, greater reward. But that's for a different thread all together.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Wtf is with women trying to finger/peg guys unannounced?

 

[Berserker Armor]

this leads up to the lewd/funny question and isn't cringey but i want to share cuz it was funny and this is not the most lewd funny or fetishy thing hes said to me (which i will share those later) but i remember this purely because of how it went so:
we were skinny dipping in his mom pool at 2 am when he was house sitting
he got out to piss (in the yard i guess was the plan?) and he says aloud
"oh shit. i think their security cameras point into the back yard."
"what does that mean." i yell from the pool.
"my mom's neighbors have seen your ass, like the full moon."

Spoiler: i wish i would have recorded this sometimes

i get on the pool steps and sit there. their security camera was pointing into the backyard. i looked at him, he's standing there, ass fucking naked, dick out, buns out, 2 am, glaring at a security camera like he's gonna fist fight it. mind you he's a fucking bear sized man. standing there. just staring. thinking.

i told him he had a hank hill butt. he didn't hear that. i even got out of the pool and he didn't even acknowledge me. i even stood next to him and glared with him then got back in the pool.

yet, then: he proceeds to piss in the bushes and put up one hand with his middle finger up and says "teach your dog to poop on it's own side walk." than he gets back in the pool after he pisses and says "wanna bang in the pool to piss off the neighbors?" "if theres security cameras we should just go inside" "nahhh" "what about your mom? what if they tell her?" "nah. i'm a good christian boy who's never done anything wrong in my life." then picks me up and says. "so are we gonna bang in the pool now?"

then we banged in the pool

 

[Nekromantik]

I keep my fetishes to myself, probably because I've seen too many secrets of other people driving them to the ground by their ex partners, but had a few weirdos on my life.

Spoiler

My first gf tried to finger me, knocked her front teeth out and she ran away, extra points because we were naked on my house, never saw her again.

Had another girl who would yell at the top of her lungs something similar to fuck off (in my language) on climax, dumped her after getting police knocking on my door twice because people thought she was breaking up with me or something and I wouldn't leave.

Another one had Tourette syndrome, girl was great and it was fucking hilarious, we parted on good terms, got bored from each other I guess.

I don't like sex sounds very much, moaning etc, and had this girl who wouldn't shut up, so I put my hand on her mouth and accidentally knock her unconscious, needless to say she was pretty pissed off after waking up, broked up with me the same moment.

Current gf sometimes cry after sex, ik I'm not that bad on the bed but man that really raise questions.

Not a relationship, but funny tale from 2 weeks ago, 4 AM on my home fucking around the pc, someone shatter the window's glass on the living room and I could hear cursing, looked like a woman so I went out, gun on hand and it was a tranny, he saw the gun and instantly tried to jump on me, nails first, like an animatron with his hands on zombie stance, stoned as the moon, so I kicked him back, a police car was passing by with flashlight on, saw the scene and tased the troon, later an officer told me they got the call 10 mins before my incident, my house wasn't the only one blessed with a brick and the tranny was trying to scratch me because he had HIV.

If he scratched you get tested, you might catch the troon. For real get tested if he got you.

 

[ES 148]

I was playing Minecraft on a server and some person started whispering vaguely flirtatious things to me
That's all I've got

 

[ThePurpleProse]

If he scratched you get tested, you might catch the troon. For real get tested if he got you.

Police said the same, but the lunatic never got near me. I'm quite tall with long legs, my first reaction when the guy went down on me was a straight back kick at his chest and he was down, second kick he was getting up and hit him on the side of the head, after that he got tased.

 

[Monika H.]

This story is of a friend of mine, actually. His girlfriend (which I know) is one of those tall, somewhat muscular manwomen with short hair and body full of tattoos. She looks very intimidating and is taller than him and most of our company of friends, althrough she's pretty cool to hang out with once you get to know her. Yet, when she and my pal have sex, she always asks him to be gentle (she's nearly 30), closes her eyes and makes all kind of sighs and sobs during the act. To imagine this woman who actually terrified half of our company to be like that in bed, makes me chuckle a bit.

 

[m0rnutz]

Not a relationship, but funny tale from 2 weeks ago, 4 AM on my home fucking around the pc, someone shatter the window's glass on the living room and I could hear cursing, looked like a woman so I went out, gun on hand and it was a tranny, he saw the gun and instantly tried to jump on me, nails first, like an animatron with his hands on zombie stance, stoned as the moon, so I kicked him back, a police car was passing by with flashlight on, saw the scene and tased the troon, later an officer told me they got the call 10 mins before my incident, my house wasn't the only one blessed with a brick and the tranny was trying to scratch me because he had HIV.[/spoiler]

Did he have greasy balding hair, a rape stare, and smell like he drinks piss?

 

[polonium]

I had an ex who liked to jerk me off all the time. If I sat still for five minutes then I was getting a handy.
He also used to have these weird mood swings where suddenly he'd kick off and have an argument with me in the middle of the night and threaten to break up with me and the two minutes later be crying and apologising.
One time, lying in bed one morning, he told me all these fucked up stories about all the times he'd been molested by different people, like every one of his friends dad's has had at least a finger in him, it seemed, and he got hard while he was telling me.

That was it for me and I bailed.

 

[Plissken]

Knew a really cute azn girl. Was dating with her, but hadn't fucked her yet.

I came in as a surprise visit one night cuz she was feeling down (She gave me a key)...

Found her getting licked by her dog (Needless to say, I reported it to the cops and to the appropriate organizations)

But not before I made like Ace Ventura and did this

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

You should really add "Can I put it in your butt?" to the poll.

 

[LN 910]

I've been molested. His name was James and he touched my pee pee on his BBC talk show.

 

[Lysol]

Not really much of a story, had an ex who liked foreplay ask me if she could return the favor and jerk me a bit before sex. Much to my chagrin it turned out that she had a grip like a gorilla and my dick was black-purple bruised for like a week after.

 

[vertexwindi]

Wtf is with women trying to finger/peg guys unannounced?

What's with doing anything in sex unannounced? I thought the key to a good sex life was communication but apparently some people think surprising their partner by just trying out something in the heat of the moment will never go wrong, ever.

I dunno from my experience having it happen organically has gone over much better.

 

[Stock Image Photographer]

I just remembered another incident with the girl who I was uncomfortable choking. It wasn't something that happened during sex, but I think it could be considered sexual. Pretty soon after we started dating, I discovered that she was rubbing her vagina on my blankets and on my jeans. She said that she was doing it both because it felt good and because she wanted to mark my apartment and my clothes with her scent. When I asked her to please not do that, she broke down crying and asked if I hated her.

 

[Monika H.]

You should really add "Can I put it in your butt?" to the poll.

Done