Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Done]

Just added redirects on the Lolcow Wiki for all of Jake's aliases, now they all appear on the search bar and redirect you to the main Jake Alley wiki page.

Not sure how much of an effect this will have on the SEO for those aliases though.

 

[Jaimas]

Major updates:

* More googleshnging
* Proof that Jake Zoe Posted because she played Overwatch with Randi Harper
* Coolie Hat main
* A new Jake Alley gallery (expect more of our favorite gnome soon!)
* The triumphant emergence of Suicide Prevention Cat
* New intro quote

 

[Hiragana]

Aggressively sexualising women is what being a woman is all about. Welcome to Trans-feminism!


Oh and Jake is the Uncle Tom of incels/NEETs.

They need to make room for their own special boxes of tumblr genders and sexualities. At this point, unless they're all dolled-up in pink a woman runs the chance stepping on their toes and being claimed as one of them.

Jake will only admit defeat when Samus has a girly bow attached to her armor.

 

[GethN7]

It was posted very early so your (re)post comes at a good time. You may encourage the mining of these videos (I know that would be close to "cruel and unusual punishment").

From Let's Play Hyperdimension Neptunia (Part 1) ( https://youtu.be/puwkfRyzA7g?t=7m54s ):

View attachment 437715

Jake says:

"If you look closely though, you'll notice that someone behind this game has managed to incorporate jiggle
physics into static images. Look really closely right there, OK, seriously, that chest is heaving up and down.
Now, is it me or does this give you this vibe like you're some kind of creepy psychopath who just broke into
someone's room in the middle of the night and you're just staring at them in their sleep?"

Firstly, it's not a static image, it's animated.

Secondly, there is no tit jiggle, there is just the rise and fall of a breathing chest. Since tits sit upon rib cages
they too would go up and down as the rib cage expands and contracts.

Third, Jake it is just you. You are coming across as the "creepy psychopath". The character's eyes are open so she is not sleeping. The jiggling tits, the break and enter, and sleeping stuff is coming from your imagination; it is not a part of the image.

As someone who has played the series in question, those scenes are from the original HDN before the Rebirth remakes, where Idea Factory used animated 3D images, while the Rebirth games used animated 2D images.

(The Megadimension VIIR game finally returned to full 3D due to the VR format)

The original images were intended to have chest movement because the characters were breathing in an out due to being fully animated during cutscenes.

Ironically, Jake's bitching would have been remotely accurate for the Rebirth remakes because the same character he's bitching about (Vert), she does have a few movement where the animators intentionally gave her chest area a boob jiggle, but this was done in scenes to deliberately piss off the character Blanc, who is sensitive about being flat chested.

The eye movement was also fully simulated in the 3D style, but only partially in the 2D style, so again Jake is utterly wrong.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I was going through and tagging the Complete Googleshng with dates, and I stumbled across the exact moment Jake lost his last friend.
https://archive.li/eUtFl
In September 2002 his ultra-weeb cousin went off to college and his other friend moved away, leaving him with none.

Weeb cousin's website:
https://web.archive.org/web/20010804004137/http://home.earthlink.net:80/~sailordune/

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Actual trans people have to eventually get sick of this and say something, right? A lot of the these troons make light of trans issues by their very existence, but Jake takes it up a notch by making completely untrue (and often offensive statements) and declaring them as an innate part of the trans experience. He doesn't just make trans people look bad, he makes them look deranged.

I get the impression that nobody really pays enough attention to notice, because it's just endless sperging about the people who've done him wrong and how there are Nazis and TERFS hiding behind every tree. You can read his rants over and over again and still not be able to figure out what the point was that he was making. Those that haven't muted him are probably not really reading. They just follow him because they think they're supporting a trans artist.

Also, he's a very small fish. He's not like Wu or Greta or Sophie Labelle, people who had or have some credibility in the SJW crowd. His opinion carries no weight, because aside from a few small fry published essays and articles, he doesn't do anything. He has no reach. If he says "Lesbians are constantly attempting to corrective rape trans women!" then it'll only be seen by a handful of Twitter people, who will probably just assume that he's a paranoid nutjob. Which he is.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I was going through and tagging the Complete Googleshng with dates, and I stumbled across the exact moment Jake lost his last friend.
https://archive.li/eUtFl
In September 2002 his ultra-weeb cousin went off to college and his other friend moved away, leaving him with none.

Weeb cousin's website:
https://web.archive.org/web/20010804004137/http://home.earthlink.net:80/~sailordune/

....in which Jake compares himself to a mangy, flea-bitten stray dog.

(Farscape is his dog food of choice)

Man, he's been the king of terrible metaphor for a long time, huh?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Updated The Googleshng with date tags for as many entries as I could conveniently look up (he makes a lot of holiday/birthday and convention posts so it's easy to get some "guideposts")
Search for // to see "comments" with dates in them.

Incidentally, if you search for "school", the last time he mentions being in school himself is 1999. He probably did finish high school and then never went on to college.

 

[eastlymefellow]

Hi, first time post here so I hope I'm doing this right.

Did some detective work on Jake's past. He graduated East Lyme High School in 1999. Voted "quietest" and also found his Senior picture. There was a section of the yearbook where seniors could write something but Jake didn't. There was also a section where parents/family could write something but nothing there. Also looked through clubs and didn't see Jake. Here's what I did find:

https://imgur.com/6UladSD (Senior Photo)

https://imgur.com/0Thz4u3 (superlative -quietest)

Doesn't add too much, but Jake without a beard and with hair on his head is mildly interesting.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Good job!
I’m just uploading it here in case he tries to remove them.

Spoiler

 

[Kosher Dill]

Hi, first time post here so I hope I'm doing this right.

Absolutely doing it right

If you're really from the area, have you ever heard Jake bawling his eyes out in public parks like he claims to?

Also: y'all knew this comparison was coming:

 

[Um Oh Ah Yeah]

He looks like Mort from that kc green anime club comic.

 

[Hiragana]

First time I've seen Jake beardless. He must have been bullied by the others dwarfs in his youth because of it. Maybe that's why he was voted the quietest in his year.

 

[eastlymefellow]

Absolutely doing it right

If you're really from the area, have you ever heard Jake bawling his eyes out in public parks like he claims to?

Also: y'all knew this comparison was coming:

Haha, no I've missed the fun of hearing Jake bawling his eyes out. A few other points:

Jake's neighborhood of Black Point in Niantic is pretty nice. It's a collection of small streets, with a mix of middle-class older houses, beach houses, nice apartments, and some very expensive looking new houses. Lots of friendly people walking dogs, jogging, and doing yard-work. Absolutely not whatever hell Jake has claimed. Plenty of rainbow flags flying throughout.

There's a pizza place a little less than one mile from his mom's house. With a help wanted sign in the window of course.

It is a little under 2 miles from his mom's house to downtown Niantic. There are plenty of upscale stores, quaint hippie stores, new-agey places, old movie theater, amazing bookstore, and more. Also plenty of chain restaurants and gas stations too. Jake's post about being in the middle of nowhere is hilarious.

Here's the house. Not much to add. It wasn't the nicest in the neighborhood but not the worst either. There was a SUV in the driveway with a Hillary Clinton sticker that I missed in the photo. Photo makes it look worse than it is.

Hope this little story and the pictures help piece together some of the Jake puzzle.

 

[repentance]

Hi, first time post here so I hope I'm doing this right.

Did some detective work on Jake's past. He graduated East Lyme High School in 1999. Voted "quietest" and also found his Senior picture. There was a section of the yearbook where seniors could write something but Jake didn't. There was also a section where parents/family could write something but nothing there. Also looked through clubs and didn't see Jake. Here's what I did find:

https://imgur.com/6UladSD (Senior Photo)

https://imgur.com/0Thz4u3 (superlative -quietest)

Doesn't add too much, but Jake without a beard and with hair on his head is mildly interesting.

Welcome.

I was going through and tagging the Complete Googleshng with dates, and I stumbled across the exact moment Jake lost his last friend.
https://archive.li/eUtFl
In September 2002 his ultra-weeb cousin went off to college and his other friend moved away, leaving him with none.

Weeb cousin's website:
https://web.archive.org/web/20010804004137/http://home.earthlink.net:80/~sailordune/

Apart from having been a whiny bitch forever, Jake's been doing the going to bed at dawn thing for a very long time.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Why it's almost like Jake is lying about everything, lives in a nice town with a lot of interesting stuff within walking or biking distance, and is rather liberal in its social outlook! But surely our feminine hero would never lie to us?

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

"Quietest."

Jesus wept.

 

[repentance]

Only child (July 2003)

https://archive.li/J3zR8#selection-249.69-249.218

 

[Judge Holden]

*wipes tear from eye*

yall faggots are fucking magnificent sometimes ya know? superlative detective spergery all round

also HOLY SHIT HES NOT EVEN 40 YET?!!

 

[Done]

Good job!
I’m just uploading it here in case he tries to remove them.

Spoiler

View attachment 438012
View attachment 438013

Haha, no I've missed the fun of hearing Jake bawling his eyes out. A few other points:

Jake's neighborhood of Black Point in Niantic is pretty nice. It's a collection of small streets, with a mix of middle-class older houses, beach houses, nice apartments, and some very expensive looking new houses. Lots of friendly people walking dogs, jogging, and doing yard-work. Absolutely not whatever hell Jake has claimed. Plenty of rainbow flags flying throughout.

There's a pizza place a little less than one mile from his mom's house. With a help wanted sign in the window of course.

It is a little under 2 miles from his mom's house to downtown Niantic. There are plenty of upscale stores, quaint hippie stores, new-agey places, old movie theater, amazing bookstore, and more. Also plenty of chain restaurants and gas stations too. Jake's post about being in the middle of nowhere is hilarious.

Here's the house. Not much to add. It wasn't the nicest in the neighborhood but not the worst either. There was a SUV in the driveway with a Hillary Clinton sticker that I missed in the photo. Photo makes it look worse than it is.

Hope this little story and the pictures help piece together some of the Jake puzzle.

Welcome.



View attachment 438100

Apart from having been a whiny bitch forever, Jake's been doing the going to bed at dawn thing for a very long time.

View attachment 438104

Only child (July 2003)

View attachment 438125

https://archive.li/J3zR8#selection-249.69-249.218

I can already picture @Jaimas's expression when he sees the quoted posts: