Musical LOLcows

[DavidFerrie]

Long before I knew what a LOLcow was, I was fascinated by what DJ/critic Irwin Chusid calls "outsider music". This is the musical department of LOLcowdom, where eccentric -- if not patently insane -- folks sincerely inflict bizarre noises upon the world, with none of the self-conscious calculation of avant-garde artistes or hip-kultur trolls. Two examples who've been mentioned on this Forum have been Gospel-mangler James Canupp, and the inimitable William Hung.

A classic example of the form is the late Wildman Fischer. Fischer was a homeless L.A. street singer who Frank Zappa -- a rock n' roll troll if there ever was one -- recorded and released on his Bizarre/Straight record label during the late 1960s. Unfortunately, the mentally-ill Fischer terrorized Zappa's family, so the iconoclastic rocker dropped him from the label, earning the busker's obsessive enmity for the rest of his life.

A persistent sort, Fischer spent the next forty-odd years "singing" his brain-damaged, self-composed ditties to any audience that would listen. Eventually he managed to record two albums produced by former child-actor Billy Mumy, and even sing a duet with legendary chanteuse Rosemary Clooney. Towards the end of his life he was the subject of a documentary, Derailroaded, and made an appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show:

Anyone else have musical-LOLcows they want to discuss?

 

[telegramsamo]

 

[DavidFerrie]

redacted

Normally I wouldn't accept karaoke losers as true musical LOLcows, but those clips have that special something....

Here's another key figure: the late Wesley Willis, who recorded something like thirty CDs worth of repetitious (and usually NSFW) rants about superheroes, cartoon characters, McDonald's food, and similar subjects, all using pretty much the same riffs on his factory-preset Casio keyboard. Apparently he was a close friend of the aforementioned Mr. Fischer:

 

[OBAMATRON]

Charles Manson and GG Allin

Normally I wouldn't accept karaoke losers as true musical LOLcows, but those clips have that special something....

Here's another key figure: the late Wesley Willis, who recorded something like thirty CDs worth of repetitious (and usually NSFW) rants about superheroes, cartoon characters, McDonald's food, and similar subjects, all using pretty much the same riffs on his factory-preset Casio keyboard. Apparently he was a close friend of the aforementioned Mr. Fischer:

You're probably gonna catch hell for saying Wesley Willis is a lolcow.

 

[Durable Mike Malloy]

SHOOBY TAYLOR THE HUMAN HORN, MOTHERFUCKERS. This man genuinely believed he had discovered a unique and unprecedented musical style and made it his mission to share it with the world. For decades he was booed offstage and kicked out of jam sessions and open mic nights, but nothing daunted, he self-financed numerous studio recordings that basically consist of him yelling off-key and awkwardly paced nonsense syllables. Peepy, poppy, peepy, poppy, doppy dop-ah foo-di-ah bah.

This guy was WFMU's Pet Lolcow for years and years - they tracked him down in his nursing home to bring him on a show for a live Q&A at one point.

Seriously, stick around through the "Shoo soo soo wa shree dah" until he gets to the "poppy poppy poppy doppy doppy doppy" and tell me that's not...really exceptional.

ETA: Here's Shooby with lyrics - perfect for your next karaoke night.

And here he is being booed offstage at the Apollo. The crowd's reaction is priceless.

 

[CatParty]

Normally I wouldn't accept karaoke losers as true musical LOLcows, but those clips have that special something....

Here's another key figure: the late Wesley Willis, who recorded something like thirty CDs worth of repetitious (and usually NSFW) rants about superheroes, cartoon characters, McDonald's food, and similar subjects, all using pretty much the same riffs on his factory-preset Casio keyboard. Apparently he was a close friend of the aforementioned Mr. Fischer:

you leave wesley willis alone. he is amazing

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/welsey-willis.2231/

 

[Le Bateleur]

 

[Truck Rockfort]

I don't know he qualifies as much as a lolcow but here is my boy Bangs

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Charles Manson and GG Allin


You're probably gonna catch hell for saying Wesley Willis is a lolcow.

you leave wesley willis alone. he is amazing

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/welsey-willis.2231/

Well that didn't take long.

Seriously though, Willis does have a charm to him most of the other people on here don't.

 

[KillerBob]

I like Jan Terri:

 

[OBAMATRON]

Tonetta isn't a lolcow, but people probably get a laugh out of him anyways.

 

[Ouija Board]

How can anyone forget Courtney Stodden?

 

[Jonzun]

Gothic King Cobra is the first name that springs to mind. He states that his music will redefine metal and whilst I don't necessarily agree with that statement, it's certainly unique. Here's a stream of his latest album if you wish to listen.

He's also quite active on YouTube. Although his videos mainly consist of hour long rants whilst smoking very self consciously, there are some notable moments in there, such as joining and being kicked out of the Job Corps, preaching his home-made Cobra religion and his brief stint as a ventriloquist act. Someone even decided to make an hour long documentary about him, although I haven't watched it and can't vouch for its quality:

Raed Melki also deserves a mention as he definitely fits into this category. I did already make a thread about him earlier this year, although now looking back he probably doesn't have enough content for his own thread. I deleted the original thread but I copied the original post and pasted it in the spoiler below:

Spoiler

http://www.tripplahproductions.com/

Raed Melki, who usually goes by the stage name of R.A.E.D. is a 36 year old man from Melbourne who for the last 15 or so years has been trying to pursue his dream of becoming a rap star. He's had a few videos go viral, although not for the reasons Raed was intending:

It turns out that his promotional efforts to make it big are just as bizarre and erratic as his music. Basically the short story is:

• In 2001 he was repeatedly phoning up record companies, harassing them for a record deal and leaving them "freestyles" on their messaging machines. Because of this, music entrepreneur Michael Gudinski got a restraining order against him for stalking.
• The same year he called up the Crown Casino in Melbourne to deliver more freestyles. This ended with Raed staging a 3 hour bomb hoax where he was detained by Australia's Special Operations Group and made to take a psychiatric evaluation.
• At the same time he also sent a threatening video to one of the RAAF bases in Queensland. He decided in 2006 sending the same threatening video would be a good idea.
• Since then he's put himself on the internet as a way of making his work public, still trying to get the attention of music entrepreneurs to sign him. At the moment he seems to be obsessed about getting signed by Puff Daddy.

If anyone is still interested, I recommend watching his self produced documentary, Still Flowin: The Movie. Not only is it one of the genuinely worst films ever made, it's also a way for him to deliver his version of the events that have happened 2001, in which he claims the music industry is conspiring to destroy him because he's Arabic and the industry is run by Jews (the fact he's also a "sexy freak" who will bring down the entire industry doesn't work in his favour either), the Government is in on the conspiracy which is why they "drugged him" whilst he was being detained and that somewhere out there, there's record executives who are desperate to track him down but just aren't able to find him.

If you're still not sold there's also great scenes such as a discussion with a priest about whether the devil is transsexual, Raed drinking kangaroo blood which he's convinced will make him hallucinate and a scene showing you how to torture a man with Tic-Tacs.

 

[Abethedemon]

Varg Vikernes is definitely a lolcow. He stabbed a friend of his to death 40-or so times, he set churches on fire, and he's a nazi. Not a bad musician though.
this is his solo project.

 

[OBAMATRON]

Varg Vikernes is definitely a lolcow. He stabbed a friend of his to death 40-or so times, he set churches on fire, and he's a nazi. Not a bad musician though.
this is his solo project.

I forgot about Varg, definitely a guy who can do no right.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varg_Vikernes for reference

 

[Sonitistic]

Larry Fischer was crazy but he had a great sense of melody and penned some very catchy hooks in his songs. I have a real fondness for him, especially after watching the documentary "Derailroaded". If you have the chance to see it, please do.

For musical LOLcows I'd have to go with David Tanny as my absolute favorite. I'm sure everyone is already familiar with him. I've spent hours listening to his shitty songs to the point where I actually almost enjoy them. Almost.

And I'll give an honorable mention to Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. He was made famous by Howard Stern when he brought his goofy ass on his show. He tried everything. Stand up comedy, sketch comedy, sideshow stunts and music to name a few and he was equally bad at everything. But he was a likeable guy. A typical surfer-guy personality and dumb as a rock. He died in jail awaiting trial for something along the lines of child abduction.

 

[Le Bateleur]

From what I hear, this guy is also genuinely disturbing in person.

 

[drtoboggan]

Huh. The Legendary Stardust Cowboy. Bowie covered "I Took A Trip on a Gemini Spaceship" on the album Heathen. That particular album is so good I'd almost pay full price for it.

 

[ASoulMan]

Does Justin Bieber count as a musical lolcow?

 

[Abethedemon]

Does Justin Bieber count as a musical lolcow?

I guess so. He is a scumbag, and reacts immaturely.