2018-6-17 DSP tries it - Half Life 2 playthrough - Letsplayers crimes against humanity

[neger psykolog]

This playthrough is more offensive than any remark DSP has ever said before.

• Says the game is a "real classic" and has never played it fully.
• Doesn't test run the game to get audio levels right and gets warned the volume is loud
  • Immediately gets severely ear raped and has to take his headphones off
  • Doesn't pause the game to fix things instead leaving the entire intro as a distorted shitty mess
• Plays it on console and gets angry when people say it'd work on his PC, tries to qualify his statement by saying he talked to other streamers who said it would be "impossible" without a second PC.
  • People keep asking about PC and he keeps getting angrier about it.
• Says he played Black Mesa but only finished what content was available so he has no idea about anything
• Can't remember the name of Doctor Breen because he didn't pay attention
• Shouts and laughs at stupid shit
• Says he's playing on normal difficulty when asked, even thought its pointed out to him that the game defaults to easy. He ignores people asking about that.
• Can't look quickly because he's on console so misses audio/visual queues repeatedly

The commentary is bland. He knows nothing about the series and makes "observation remarks" that are pointless.
Spends the entire time reading chat.

Terrible.
Possibly the worst thing I've ever seen.

If you give me 50 bits I'll do a running commentary of this playthrough but I'm tempted to chug a bottle of fucking drain cleaner instead.

DSP's stream: https://www.twitch.tv/darksydephil
Tevin's unauthorized restream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_YaETOpfN0

 

[Telomayonnaise]

He's lost in the trainyard lmao holy shit this is pretty damn close to peak 'tism

 

[neger psykolog]

Took him literally 10 seconds of toggling the "duck mode" option in controller settings:

There are only two options:

• Toggle
• Hold

Amazing.

 

[Telomayonnaise]

Please tell me you got a screen of him trying to go through the door instead of down into the sewers like he knew where he was supposed to go

 

[WeeblesWobble]

I was baffled when I saw HL2 on his list for games today. It's stupid that he's even playing it. After the complete mess that was Black Mesa, this isn't going to be good.

 

[neger psykolog]

Already got stuck on his first philosophical "crouch jump" question:

He then wanked around not having a clue what to do.
Looked deep inside himself (meaning he looked at chat)
and miraculously figured out he had to shoot da barrel

 

[Telomayonnaise]

This is going to be one hell of a ride, I don't see him making it through Ravenholme with how little he thinks about his environments.

 

[DiabeticSP]

I love how since Phil is a bumbling idiot he bumbles through hl2 as he totally misses scripted events happening off his camera.

Example, he is totally oblivious to the room he's in got explosive barrels dumped into it the exploded because he was staring at the floor (and already underwater so it didn't kill him).

 

[neger psykolog]

This is going to be one hell of a ride, I don't see him making it through Ravenholme with how little he thinks about his environments.

Its almost as if he has no idea why the game was revolutionary except for saying "you can use da physics gun and throw shit around quick!"

https://www.wired.com/2003/10/the-bone-crunching-physics-of-half-life-2/

Chat is handholding the fuck out of him as usual
"There's a Half Life™ secret down there!"

The game is also super choppy, even though he incorrectly claimed the PC version would be choppy.

 

[Telomayonnaise]

He keeps shooting explosive barrels about 2 feet away

 

[neger psykolog]

He keeps shooting explosive barrels about 2 feet away

Then complains about his health being down.
Walks up to ammo sitting on a barrel
"ahh health!"

Amazing. Fucking amazing.

 

[WeeblesWobble]

He should totally race Twitch in a game one of these days. Twitch Plays HL2 while DSP's Chat plays HL2

I wish he would just put his monitor in front of him and his laptop somewhere undereneath so he can look at chat and not have to turn his head 180 degrees to see it. He basically has to stop playing to interact with people. It's not organic at all.

 

[ZB 584]

Based on his 10 years of experience doing this, I am always astounded by how awful he is at playthroughs. I'm not talking about his gaming skills (or lack there of) but how terrible he is at entertaining and engaging his vierwership. It continually amazes me that he has fans. What's the appeal?

This playthrough is a perfect example of his ineptitude as a streamer and let's player.

 

[Telomayonnaise]

He spent at LEAST 5 minutes at the waterwheel with his face stuck like this just idly chatting calling the game a classic once again

 

[SleepyNibba]

maybe i should do it, i bet i could catch up with him...

 

[neger psykolog]

Picked up a grenade for his SMG and got the tooltip about his "alternate fire"
Figured out this mysterious "alternate fire" was the grenade launcher

Seriously sounded like he's never played a game with an SMG/rifle grenade launcher before.

 

[Woyzeck]

*Walks down a narrow hallway*
*getting shot from behind*
*continues walking ahead*
*continues to get shot*

“Ahhh I’m getting shot in the ass”

I wonder why?

 

[neger psykolog]

Just figured out his HEV suit, you know the suit that's about as essential to Half Life as the fucking crowbar will regenerate energy automatically.

This is despite already draining the oxygen a few times while in underwater sections but not even noticing the fucking thing.

 

[Telomayonnaise]

It seems like every time he gets to a room with water it just inherently breaks his brain

 

[neger psykolog]

Gets to one of the first physics "puzzles" where you hit some boards to release barrels and boxes that float the surface.

Releases everything under one section and still hits at last remaining board... to release nothing else.