What are the Worst Movies of All Time? - The thread for discussing celluloid syphilis

[Shokew]

Admit it. The only reason you know about these is from watching Cinema Snob.

If it wasn't for Cinema Snob, I'd be living in bliss not knowing such terribly unwatchable fare exists at all, really. Too bad I love watching Cinema Snob, so it was a tough sacrifice to make.

Kiwi Farms: The Movie

Never heard of it and I don't care to see it, thank you very much.

Has Ratchet and Clank been mentioned yet? Because it needs to be mentioned.

Fuck, I wanted to see that movie, since I'm somewhat of a fan of said series - but that's mostly the older games. This film is a complete middle finger to those games and more. Feels like I dodged a bullet NOT ever seeing it, really.

 

[Army Burger]

Mamma Mia was one of the few instances my patience has ever been seriously tested with a film. It was grating and inane and it just kept going and going. I watch chick flicks all the time but there's a limit to how much shrill squeeing I can stomach.

The fact that Pierce Brosnan can't sing for shit is just the cherry on the shit sundae.

Also, lol at there being a Mamma Mia 2

 

[NARPASSWORD]

Admit it. The only reason you know about these is from watching Cinema Snob.

Also IHE's search for the worst review.

 

[Lensherr]

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. The whole thing is like a terrible acid trip you can't wake up from.

View attachment 464508

I just watched that for the first time recently, and I don't think I've ever seen a film that rancid before (if you can even apply that descriptor to a film).

 

[Ebonic Tutor]

Queen of the Daaaaammmmn(ed) that movie sucked.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Ever seen Torque? Jesus, that was a shit sandwich on shit bread with a side of shit sauce. 'Let's make a Fast and the Furious movie, but with motorcycles and even less plot coherence!'.

 

[Big Nasty]

Kiwi Farms: The Movie

You mean this?

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/everett-tweakers-live-hd.43536/#post-3451769

 

[Red Hood]

The CHIPS movie they made a year or so back is really really bad. I don't know what they were thinking but between "people who remember CHIPS reruns" and "people that like lazy wannabe Judd Apatow/Paul Feig comedies" I don't think there's much crossover.

And yet, this seems to be its target audience.

 

[Zaryiu]

The Last Jedi for being the first movie i wanted to rage quit and all awful adaptations

 

[Maxliam]

The Last Jedi for being the first movie i wanted to rage quit and all awful adaptations

Especially commander danger hair and chubby chink girl.

 

[Jinmen]

The animated Tekken move was pretty terrible.

And ugly.

 

[tehpope]

The animated Tekken move was pretty terrible.

And ugly.

But bro:

 

[Plissken]

Any and all Highlander sequels.

Beastmaster 2.

Universal Soldier.

Most Steven Seagal movies (Hard to Kill, Out for Justice, etc)

 

[Jinmen]

Any pretentious comedy drama that's more drama than comedy. The shit that movie critics cum over.

The exception to this is Cable Guy. Dark comedies like Welcome to the Dollhouse are fine but I hate movies that advertise themselves as comedies but try to be tear jerkers. It just pisses me off.

 

[Lensherr]

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned X-Men Origins: Wolverine yet. That movie managed to fuck up both Wolverine and Deadpool's origin stories in one sitting (thank God the DP movies have had no qualms about mercilessly shitting on it and Barakapool).

 

[Gordon Cole]

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned X-Men Origins: Wolverine yet. That movie managed to fuck up both Wolverine and Deadpool's origin stories in one sitting (thank God the DP movies have had no qualms about mercilessly shitting on it and Barakapool).

If I didn't expend all my capeshit anger during Man of Steel and TASM2, then I would've hated it a lot more than I did.

 

[Lensherr]

If I didn't expend all my capeshit anger during Man of Steel and TASM2, then I would've hated it a lot more than I did.

Really, the only reason I hate it as much as I do is because for a long time, Wolverine was my favorite comic book character.

 

[Maggots on a Train]

War Gods of the Deep.

Remember Marcus Brody from Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade? About 1/3 the screen time in WGotD is dedicated to slapstick comedy of essentially the same character and his beloved pet chicken. Why? Every moment Vincent Price is on screen is pure 24k gold, but they threw away VP and an army of monsters to focus on Marcus Brody. Also, the monsters and action scenes are devoid of suspense and actual action.

 

[Commander X]

Amongst my least favorites that I consider a truly bad movie would be the, at the time, much hyped Dead Poets Society . A frolicking and particularly mincing Robin Williams and a bunch of kids playing dress up who enter into a cult of personality about him, while delivering overwrought "lessons" about how art and creative endeavors lift us up and help us feel free and alive blah blah blah. Which is why it was talked about by the airheaded intelligentsia for about 3 years before they floated around to the next "poignant" over-sentimental movie and completely forgot about it while everyone else secretly rolled their eyes and hated it all along.

 

[Flying_with_the_Penguins]

Suicide Squad. Everything about this movie baffles me on such a fundamental level, and I'm frankly not sure if there was a single thing they did right. The soundtrack has no narrative purpose or song-choice consistency and is used as a crutch to make shitty montages out of what otherwise could have been normal scenes, half the scenes and characters go absolutely nowhere, nothing that anyone does has any justifiable rationale, the pacing is all over the place, and they killed their own premise by having it shoehorned into the DCEU, which only serves to make the audience wonder why superman couldn't deal with the evil witch instead of a bunch of mentally-ill criminals who are roughly on the same skill level as your average SWAT team. Thats only a few of the many major problems I have with it, but overall its just an absolute mess from start to finish, and I would honestly consider it to be on the same level of technical incompetence as The Room.