I don't really know where to begin and to most people this thread may be boring, but I need to get it off my chest. I am literally losing sleep over this, I need to tell somebody, anybody, and well I figured just writing it off will help.
For over a year now I've been sort of undercover to expose and have convicted this horrorcow. When I first met him, I just knew something was wrong with this guy. For the longest time I tried to avoid him, but something inside of me couldn't. It was almost like destiny that him and I would clash. Until suddenly one day he laid it on me with something that hit close to home for me, that he was a pedophile and a child molester.
I myself am a father and I just cringed. At first I just wanted to leave it be, but again, I couldn't. I kept having these thoughts that now that I know this and he goes out and rape another girl then I am in part to blame, since I knew about him.
We live a million miles apart and I tried everything to no avail. I approached perverted justice, my local police department, I tried everything. To my utter amazement the police department here could not do jack shit, since they didn't have the funds. But as luck would have it I had a police officer live right in my street and so I made the decision one day to tell him and have it in writing that I would go "undercover" as a fake pedophile and just get as much dirt on that guy as possible, then turn it in to his local authorities. Doing that made me sick each time and for practice I'd just watch shows like to catch a predator, dr. phil, steve wilkos and even movies like the woodsman to "get in to character" with this guy. I had skype in a pc sandbox and on a password protected USB stick that I would hide in a little plastic bag in the bottom of my coffee jar each time I had my own kids over. I could never talk to this sicko when they where here. Somehow it just felt really wrong and I would not be able to look my own kids in the eyes doing that. I am divorced and only have them once every weekend and I'd just make up bogus excuses to my horror cow each time they would get here.
I've trolled people before and I have to admit that I myself am a troll. I never do disgusting stuff like troll a dead persons memorial or what have you, but I do like a good lolcow from time to time. Nothing very high profile, its just goofing off, and I never ever namefag. I don't mind people that do, but trolling for me has nothing to do with increasing my e-penis. I am middle aged, I'm divorced, I have a beergut, I'm old and I'm bored. I got nothing to prove. I've had several truly funny lolcows like a fat lazy lesbian, a gay bugchaser, you name it and all of them are actually in a strange way dear to me. I like them, I had fun with them and each of them had at least some aspects that I like. Heck, I even enjoyed talking to them whenever I did catfish or troll them.
This guy however, this horrorcow, had nothing I liked. It was a year of hell. I felt miserable and sometimes I had to lie to him that there was someone at the door, or I had a phonecall, just to go outside for a while and take a breather after he told me yet again something disgusting. Raping girls, how he'd enjoy certain child porn, how he loved taping them up and making them scream. It made me sick, it made me think about my own babies. How much I loved my own kids, how much I want to protect them. He is the reason that when my kids where littler and playing outside in the yard I would always look outside and keep an eye out on them. And the kids he hurt had parents just like my ex-wife and I. I can't even imagine what they must have felt finding out their kids where raped by this sick maniac.
I am not a tough guy at all. Sure I've been convicted of other unrelated stuff, but I'm no hardened criminal I just did some stupid stuff in my life. I am no fighter. But talking to my horrorcow I'd have these fantasies of just grabbing him by the throat and crushing his windpipe. I couldn't help it, I felt like shit. He made me feel like shit. He hurt my core.
I wanted him dead.
In the end I broke my keyboard and three chairs in my living room after he had told me he had found a new buddy under the nick name "art lover" / "inspector" and how his buddy would give him little camshows of doing exactly what he liked, taping up little girls and raping them. I screamed and for the first time after my dog had died 3 years earlier I cried. There is still a hole in a door in my living room because of it. In the middle of the night I took off and went to my cop "neighbor" and laid it all out for him. He told me we had to act now, I had to expose him and just deliver everything to the authorities, which I did.
In the cops kitchen I cried like a baby.
I asked around on how to expose the guy and got some good advice from trolls here and there who told me I had been stupid for going after this guy alone. They gave me the name of what they thought was the worst person on ED, "trolahoar", who would be relentless against this guy and he in turn took it upon himself to shut down the guys CP websites, write and feature an ED page about him, and contact a group that had previously trolled my horrorcow, the "bill waggoner crew".
My cop neighbor managed to get all my chatlogs, everything to the Canadian authorities and the center for missing and exploited children and I can finally close the books on my horrorcow. I gotta be honest: I am not perverted justice / vigilante material because I can't handle it. It's been two days now and I lay awake at night over this guy, which had me thinking last night to open this thread.
I'm not asking for sympathy or pity, I'm not fishing for underbelly feelings on what a bad guy this is, or that I am some sort of hero. Its nothing like that. I just felt responsible and in the end I did it to myself. But never again. I'd go for some exceptional individual on deviantart or a dumbass on youtube any damn day of the week. Give me a camwhore to troll, give me Chris rubbing estrogel on his gut any time, but this, never again.
I'm sorry, I just had to get it off my chest and I hope that in doing so I can sleep again tonight.