I was thinking about making a "stuff lolcows like" thread simililar to "stuff white people like" but it looks like I got beat to it:
1. Aside from Jace, most lolcows are straight edge and hate substance abuse with a passion.
2. Despite this, they have a very unhealthy lifestyle, especially when it comes to a diet that doesn't have much variety. Other than vegan SJWs, they shy away from vegetables. Most of them eat TV dinners and McDonalds every day.
3. As a result, lolcows tend to be either emaciated or obese from being under/malnourished.
4. lolcows also drink a shitload of pop, and seem to have a particular affinity for the many varieties of mountain dew.
5. Lack of hygiene is a big one. They usually consider axe body spray to be an acceptable substitute to showering.
6. Most of them are chronically unemployed and rely on government assitance/e-begging/or their parents to get by.
7. Speaking about parents, there are plenty of people on the autism spectrum or have disabilities/mental health problems who are functional members of society that don't make an ass of themselves on the internet. One of the biggest linking traits of lolcows is shitty parenting. Nick Bate's family doesn't believe in mental illness and think if they pray enough, their son will stop smearing semen-encrusted feces all over his apartment. Jace has Gail, who treats him like he's 20 years younger than his actual age. There's the infamous Borb, and the Golden Knight's mother seems to be just as inbred and delusional as he is and enables his shitty behavior.
8. Rampant homophobia despite many of them having gender issues.
9. The desire to be famous for the sake of people liking them and being motivated to create art/literature/music just because they want to be famous rather than a genuine interest in those things.
10. Aforementioned works usually have a Mary Sue/Marty Stu self-insert, usually in the starring role.
