Anytime anyone tells the truth about him, he causes them of bullying/harassing them and then will whine, bully, or abuse legal threats and DMCA takedowns to purge it from the internet
The lack of selfawareness, having learned nothing after the last few miserable weeks, will always make Jake funny.
Too bad only the really stupid cows with dead threads, and Russ Greer, seem to file take downs. Would love for that to be the last undeniable nail in the dox coffin.
Is there a PDF of the rules for The Massive Vs The Masses around? Does anyone have a physical copy? I’m curious as to how competantly put together it was.
(Plus, if we know the rules, we could make our own fan-expansion, Wrath of the Gnome King)
Jake needs to shave his beard off, buy some whale sized women's clothing, purchase a wig, learn how to put makeup on and get his dick cut off like ADF Phil. Doing all of that will surly make what we say complete lies and we will certainly believe that he is a true and honest woman. Time to get your balls cut off and prove us wrong, Gnome!
Is there a PDF of the rules for The Massive Vs The Masses around? Does anyone have a physical copy? I’m curious as to how competantly put together it was.
(Plus, if we know the rules, we could make our own fan-expansion, Wrath of the Gnome King)
Is there a PDF of the rules for The Massive Vs The Masses around? Does anyone have a physical copy? I’m curious as to how competantly put together it was.
(Plus, if we know the rules, we could make our own fan-expansion, Wrath of the Gnome King)
I always assumed that when we have the fabled Gathering of the Kiwis, a Massive vs. the Masses tournament would probably be on our agenda. We could offer Jake space on a "panel" to discuss it. The only other panelist will be a life-size cardboard cutout of Zoe Quinn.
Based on online reviews of MvM, this doesn't seem to be the case, although both are asymmetrical games pitting a large number of units against a single, powerful unit.
Ogre pits a single, building-sized robot tank against mixed armor and Heinlein-style battlesuit units. The Ogre has mobility and multiple weapons which can be attacked and destroyed individually. The Army units need to decide what to attack and when to bring the Ogre to a stop. The Ogre's goal is to bring a Command Post within range of its weapons, at which point it wins.
MvM (which was apparently supposed to be the first game in a series) pits a single giant monster against modern Army units. The Massive has 100 hit points which the Army needs to whittle down, while the monster hunts down fleeing civilians. Both players have cards which are played to represent special attacks and events.
Of course, there are several similar games; off the top of my head, there's The Creature Who Ate Sheboygan and Monsters Menace America, none of which seem to have mechanics very similar to MvM.
"Wrath of the Mole-Man!", the objective is to steal Reed Richards girlfriend SUSAN! by deploying his army of sub-humans. Maybe "No-Amor the Snubbed-Malingerer" might be more appropriate given his seaside haunting ground.
"Wrath of the Mole-Man!", the objective is to steal Reed Richards girlfriend SUSAN! by deploying his army of sub-humans. Maybe "No-Amor the Snubbed-Malingerer" might be more appropriate given his seaside haunting ground.
the first would imply Jake has actual followers. The second would imply Jake actually goes to the local beach. Kosher Dill's bit of a adventure making fun of Jake and evicting him called "Lymestone manor," was a good idea for a short game about jake. Still good content though
First conceptualized by Jake around 2003, The Massive vs. the masses was described as an asymmetric card game where one player controlled a monster with simple mechanics and the other had an army with potentially card combos, positioning requirements, and resource management. The ambitious hook for the game concept would be compatibility with many expansion packs, so you could go do a Godzilla vs. zombies, mad scientist vs. the army, and so forth. The modular hex grid playing field was designed to let you add on players/possibly expand the game for the expansions that never came. Jake's preplanned expansions were to be a scientist's drilling machine vs. molemen, and a survivalist vs. zombies.
Jake described The Massive vs. the masses as "asymetrical and goofy" in the CON Skype chat.
Jake Alley said:
[02/01/2015, 4:59:24 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: but, granted, that IS advice from someone sitting in a room using unsold boardgames as makeshift insulation
[02/01/2015, 5:00:09 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: I've got like 700 of the things, pushed up against drafty windows they do the job pretty well
[28/12/2014, 2:35:52 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: my game I'm using as insulation because I suck at self-promotion is technically competetive, but it's so darn asymetrical and goofy I don't see anyone ever getting into a tournament mindset over it
This is supposed to show all the contents that come in the box.
A close-up of the pieces.
The majority of the following comes from Something Awful when they played through two games of it in 2016, once for each side. In addition to the OP there was another person who showed up and had played this before. The artist Jake used is a goon and posted in the thread as well. The OP mentions having asked Jake about a game rule. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3765571
The objective in the base game is for the army to neutralize Gamorzilla by inflicting 100 HP worth of damage to it and can deploy various units based on their cards, while also protecting civilian assets. Gamorzilla wins by eliminating the civilians and can move around and attack through cards.
Each side has weakpoints that are put into the opposing deck, in the base game the Army can utilize Gamorzilla weakpoint cards and vice versa. "Let’s take this chance to explain the premise of Weak Point cards. You’ll notice the text box is Gamorzilla’s color, and has those nice jagged edges. The idea here is, these are cards which technically belong to your opponent’s set, but are mixed into your deck, so you can exploit their unique personal flaws. If we were mixing and matching multiple games in the MvM line, we’d be fishing these out and passing them around accordingly."
The Massive
Gamorzilla is a giant amphibious lizard/reptile/turtle thing which can breathe fire. It starts off having just left the sea, with 100 hitpoints, able to move 5 hexes a turn over most terrain except buildings (marked by a 'B'), and attacks through playing a card each turn. Its weaknesses generally relate to its amphibious lizardy nature. It loses when it runs out of hitpoints. Gamorzilla starts with 5 cards, drawing and playing one a turn.
Unless a card says otherwise, Gamorzilla cannot enter an occupied space. Buildings block line of sight but it can see units inside them.
The Atomic Fire Breath's cone is two hexes next to Gamorzilla, then the three hexes in the same direction adjacent to them. You end up with a 3-hex triangle with Gamorzilla at one corner. (You can optionally not play a card, it was said in reference to Gamorzilla's turn but probably is a global rule) You may move before or after playing a card.
The masses player can move and attack with each unit they have during their turn. (Playing a card, moving/attacking with all units, and drawing a card may be done in any order once each turn.) As with Gamorzilla, you draw one card and play one a turn, and your hand size is based on how many civilians are alive, starting at 10.
Civilians:
They have a move of 1 and a single hitpoint. The Army has one card in hand per living civilian (Starting at ten cards), discarding as they die, and losing when they're all dead. If you lose your civilian(s) on Gamorzilla's turn you discard at the start of your turn before anything else. If you kill any on your turn, you discard in that turn. Civilians do not get an attack. Walk type
The Army:
These units can move and attack each turn from the moment they are deployed to the moment they are destroyed.
Tanks: Move 3 (Open, Tricky and Rubble), Range 3, Damage 3, Hitpoints 3
Helicopters: Move 2 (anywhere, can move through occupied spaces but not end turn on one), Range 2, Damage 1, Hitpoints 1
Fighter Planes: Move 5 (Must use full move, can only go ahead or the adjacent sides, crashes if no legal move) Range 3, Damage 2 (Only attack straight ahead but can attack mid move, buildings don't block LOS) Hitpoints 1
Infantry: Move 1 (Anywhere except Water) Range 2, Damage 1, Hitpoints 1, Walk type
Scientist and inventions:
The Scientist (move 1, 1 hitpoint) allows you to play weak point cards: If the scientist is dead, you discard them and draw again. As long as it lives, it can repair the Robot for 5 hit points if adjacent, as can the Lab until it gets reduced to rubble. Weak point cards are shuffled into the opposing deck, and that opponent can draw them as he would his own cards. Gamorzilla has no restrictions on when or how he can play the army weak point cards, beyond the usual 'draw one, play one' restriction. The exact wording of the scientist's special rule is as follows: 'If the scientist is destroyed, you may not play any weak point cards. At any point after the scientist is destroyed, if your hand contains one or more weak point cards you may discard them and draw new cards to replace them'. The Scientist does not get an attack. Walk type
The Robot has 10 hitpoints and can deal 5 damage. It can, like Gamorzilla, move anywhere except buildings: It has a move of 3, going up to a move of 5 if the scientist was alive when it arrived. It has a range of 1, unless it showed up before the Lab gets destroyed, in which case that gets bumped up to 2. "We can place it anywhere in the back row (with the implied exception of the Lab)"
The Death Ray has 10 hitpoints and deals 5 damage to everything in a straight line, and gets extra attacks, one each if the scientist and lab are still around when it shows up. It doesn't move, so needs to be deployed with care. It can only shoot along the 6 sides of the hex it is placed in.
The board:
There are six kinds of space: Water, Tricky, Open, Building, Rubble and Railroad. Rubble hexes occur when the existing terrain gets destroyed.
Railroad hexes are special: To Gamorzilla, they count as Building or Open, but Army ground units can move from non-rubble railroad to railroad at half cost (Civilians/infantry/the scientist can move up to two, tanks up to six). Buildings block line of sight except for fighters. Units cannot share spaces or leave the map.
Buildings don't have hitpoints, nor do any terrain types. Any damage at all which is directed at them or at 'everything in a hex'/"everything in a space" is sufficient to destroy them. When a hex of building is destroyed it becomes a rubble hex
The Barracks are marked by the crossed rifles: Tanks and Infantry spawn here. The Airport is marked by the plane symbol: This is where fighters and helicopters launch. The Lab is the geodesic dome with the Erlenmeyer flask: The Scientist starts here. The small red stars are where civilians start out, the big one is Gamorzilla's entry. You can optionally deploy units from the 9 hexes at the back of the map.
If all hexes of the barracks/airport/etc. become rubble they will be unable to deploy their units from them and they instead deploy from the 9 hexes at the back of the Tokyo side of the map. They also deploy less as more of the building is destroyed, if you play Deploy Armor and three or four barracks spaces are free of rubble, you get three tanks. If two are rubbled, you get two tanks. If three, you get one tank. If all four, your only option is the always-available ones in the back row. "When a space has a rubble token on it, it’s considered a rubble space, instead of building, open, etc. Gamorzilla can freely move through rubble spaces, so first off, we now have an escape plan." Some masses units, like the tank, can "shoot the ground" to create rubble out of a building hex.
I’m going to play out a sample game right here, commenting on it turn by turn. You should come away with a pretty good idea on what it’s like to play the game from this, and you might even get some nice strategic tips for when you get a chance to play it for yourself. I don’t plan on doing this for all my games, since everything else due out in the next year will be both cheap enough that getting demo sets scattered throughout the world is a more practical option, and, quite frankly, a few are simple enough that I’d be giving the whole thing away.
The Masses always goes first, and spreading out the civilians is recommended by Jake. Their turn begins with a card draw, bringing them up to 11 cards. They can play one card per turn (unless a card says otherwise), before or after moving units.
The dark grey hexes are buildings. Red is the barracks. "We can’t actually deploy our tanks into these [red barracks] spaces, since tanks can’t ever enter building spaces, so instead, they appear anywhere outside. Every other railroad space (the lines cutting through the board on the diagram) counts as building for our opponent, but for us, they’re their own happy little bonus space type, so they’re fair game for our tanks."
Jake's play is to use Deploy Armor, then move them forward to attack, one gets a movement bonus from the railroad hexes.
The Massive's turn starts with a card draw. Jake explains Punt and the Rubble mechanics.
The short version of how this card works is that we pick a space right next to us, and kick whatever is on it off at someone else. The rest of this is just a bunch of restrictions on how exactly we can do this. A lot of it involves those cases where the thing we’re kicking doesn’t die from being kicked, which is so rare you never really have to worry about it. The most important thing here is that “in the same direction” bit. This means we’re using that “straight line attack” concept explained in the back of the basic rules. The short version is, if we’re kicking something directly in front of us, we’re not allowed to angle the kick and hit something off to the side. We also specify that the thing we’re kicking something into has to be “within our line of sight” after we go and take the thing being kicked off the board. This is a rather technical way of getting across the notion that while it’s totally cool to kick something way across the board into another unit, or a building, or any random empty space really, we can’t arc our kick up and nail someone off in the distance hiding behind a building. We can kick a building over onto someone standing behind it though (because we’re first destroying the building, then checking the line of sight for obstructions). The whole line of sight concept basically just boils down to the fact that hiding behind buildings can often keep you safe. All of the Army’s units (with the notable exception of the Death Ray) need to deal with this, but for Gamorzilla, it’s only an issue when it gets specifically mentioned on a card.
Now that we’ve picked apart the two wordiest cards in the game, we shouldn’t be getting slowed down like that anymore. The vast majority are phrased far more simply. In any case, we’re first moving up a bit, and then Punting one screaming little citizen into another, killing both. That’s always fun. Oh, and since this, like most of Gamorzilla’s cards, refers to damaging “everything on” these two spaces, we lay down rubble tokens on them (represented as yellow with black dots here). We’ll get into what’s so great about these really do later on. In this case, they’re pretty much just a nice visual representation of how smashed up the board is getting.
The Masses turn starts with discards from the two civilians lost to Punt. 'Take note by the way of how we’re positioning these tanks. While we can enter the building/railroad spaces no problem, Gamorzilla can’t. This sort of positioning cuts off the easiest route to the citizens up by the barracks. Going the long way around still works, but we’re hoping to close off more next turn. We could get closer than this too, but then we’d be letting our opponent have a chance to smash us before moving." Take Cover is played, which prevents the first 5 points of damage to all their Walk types for the next 3 turns.
The Massive used a Munch card to "destroy adjacent Flesh unit" and bypasses Take Cover's damage reduction. The card does not say it destroys "everything in a space" so it does not create rubble (although the civilian it was used on was already in rubble).
The masses used a card to deploy the robot and moves in to attack. "We can place it anywhere in the back row (with the implied exception of the Lab, because this is yet another unit that can’t enter building spaces)"
Jake and one of the SA users who had played this both said it can be tempting for the Massive to focus down army units, but the masses can potentially easily replace them. His move is to go trash the barracks instead with a cone attack, creating Rubble spaces and severely weakening Deploy Armor and other cards.
The masses plays a nuke, they will have to wait until their next turn to target it, giving the opponent time to move to a beneficial location. "The tank that’s starting its turn in the airport is going to shoot the ground on one of our own building spaces, reducing it to rubble so one of the others can get in position. After firing, this tank is looping around to the left, to help wall off the route to our big citizen wad, and hopefully leave us with at least one living tank after the bomb hits."
A Leap card is played which lets the Massive choose any Open/Tricky/Building/or Rubble space, destroys everything on it, and moves to it. It can not be used on a space occupied by something with more than 5 HP.
At the very start of the masses turn they must decide where to target their nuke. A direct hit would do 30 damage and the blast would destroy the airport and 3 civilians. An indirect hit could do 20 damage and only kill one, or it could be dropped in the ocean to "just cut our losses" and not do anything with it, which Jake says is "just stupid." Jake decides to go for a direct hit.
A weakpoint card is played that reduces Gamorzilla's movement to 3 and makes them choose to either draw a card or play a card, lasting 5 turns.
The Massive moves around a tank then uses a Flight card, which deals damage in a 2 space line then flies 5 spaces in the opposite direction, destroying a tank and moving towards a civilian.
The sample game ends with the masses playing a card that lets all Army units attack twice as many times this turn and trying to move units into attack range. Jake said there would be a couple more turns left, and the Massive player was likely to lose unless they have cards that would allow them "a dramatic escape, the destruction of these attackers, or both at the same time."
11 cards were shown, Jake said that was about 1/3 of the cards in the game, between his sample game and the SA games we have 37 cards, unless I missed some. Each deck comes with multiple copies of some of the cards, as seen in the SA games. I didn't notice anything about how many cards are in each deck.
